(Clearwisdom.net) I have made efforts to do the three things well, according to the requirements of the Fa, for a long period of time. Recently I discovered a few things that made me realize I had loopholes in my cultivation. The lightbulb at home suddenly went out twice in a row. I couldn't open my work computer. When I did the housework I fumbled and broke dishes. I know, from studying Master's Fa, that nothing is accidental and that I definitely had attachments that I wasn't aware of.
When I started to look within, I realized that my words and actions weren't compassionate enough. I had a strong fighting mentality. When I heard unpleasant things that had no relationship with validating the Fa, I couldn't control myself and would argue with the person who had said it. I acted as if I was superior to everyone else. I wasn't magnanimous enough when I validated the Fa, which caused the evil CCP personnel to plan to hold a brainwashing session. I left my temporary job and spent the next ten days quietly looking within, studying the Fa, and asking Master for his support. I was then able to get through this tribulation.
But not long later after that, my battery-powered motor vehicle broke down. It made me realize that I had not found the root of my problem. I always released my hands from the Jieyin position (hands conjoined together at the lower abdomen) when I did the meditation in the morning. I was not able to quiet down when I sent righteous thoughts. For a long period of time I have not been able to get rid of the condition where I sneeze and my nose runs a lot. Sometimes people that don't practice have thought that I had rhinitis. I was not able to validate the Fa well this way. I knew that I had not found the root of my problem, but I was very puzzled.
I studied the Fa, yet I couldn't enlighten to what my gap was. I looked for a veteran practitioner to share this with but wasn't able to find one. I accidentally ran into a new practitioner. At her house I asked how her practice was going. She told me that she did the standing exercises in the morning first. She wasn't sleepy when she did so. She then meditated. I suddenly enlightened that I hadn't being doing the exercises in the order that Master had arranged them for us. I had been meditating first, before the standing exercises, for a long time. We had also done it this way at our practice site before the persecution began on July 20, 1999, and no one had pointed out that this was incorrect. I had always felt drowsy when I got up early in the morning. I thought I would not be sleepy if I did the meditation first and got a little rest. I didn't realize that how stubborn I had become in adhering to my own opinions regarding practicing the exercises at the most basic level. I had a faint fear that holding the law wheel in the second Falun Gong exercise, Falun Standing Stance, was too strenuous. When I looked deeply within, I found that I had the mentality of seeking comfort when doing the exercises and my heart wasn't pure.
I told the new practitioner, “I have found where my gap is. I thank Master for making this trip worthwhile.” Starting the next morning I changed my long standing habit of doing the exercises in the order that I chose and did them instead in the sequence Master arranged. I wasn't sleepy at all when meditating during the fifth exercise and I didn't drop my hands or release them from the Jeiyin position. Even though I slept very little, I wasn't tired in the afternoon and had the mental attitude of a Falun Dafa practitioner.
Even though I am a veteran practitioner and have been practicing since before the persecution began, I didn't do well as this new practitioner in this regard. I understand now that doing the five exercises well is a basic requirement for a practitioner. Aren't the old forces using the evil to test Dafa disciples based on whether they are doing the exercises or not? It is clear to me now how important doing the exercises is. It is shameful to call oneself a Dafa disciple when having the freedom to practice the exercises but not doing them. It is also shameful to cause Master to lengthen the time of cultivation because of this.
