(Minghui.org) For the last six months I have been studying the Fa with two study groups because I felt the need for overall improvement. A fellow practitioner, who is a coordinator, and I ride together on my bike because we have to travel quite far.
Initially I was very happy, as I could attend two Fa study groups, get to know more practitioners, and improve with them. However, over time an attachment developed, and I began to look down on the coordinator and felt that she should not say certain things. When I picked her up I thought, “Why don’t you come downstairs early enough so that you are ready for me when I arrive? I have to wait for you downstairs even when it is raining.” Gradually I felt unbalanced. When I realized the effect my feelings of jealousy had, I sent forth righteous thoughts to eradicate the jealousy.
Sometimes I just expressed my views on how to enlighten to the Fa and my opinions about other things. I didn't consider her feelings and always had different views on the correct way to be a coordinator. Eventually the old forces took advantage of our loopholes.
One day after Fa study, I again pointed out things I thought she shouldn't say. This caused an attachment to surface in her. She said, “Then I won’t go to Fa study with you anymore. Since I am wrong when I say this and that, and I don't try hard enough to find my shortcomings, why do I go there? I am supposed to coordinate practitioners so we can improve together, but I always make mistakes. I won’t go again!” I quickly said, “You actually do well in some aspects, but are deficient in others.” However, no matter what I said, she said she would not agree to go to the study groups.
After I got home, I began to calmly look within. She did so well at looking within all the time, but had I done that? My words were not in the Fa, they were a cover for my jealousy and lack of overall improvement. Teacher said in Zhuan Falun:
“But this problem also shows up among true cultivators who don’t admit that other people are good and don’t get rid of their competitiveness. They’re likely to get jealous.” (Feb 2003 edition)
The next day we studied the Fa together. When I saw her with an unhappy look on her face, I chuckled to myself because I had caused her unhappiness and thought that she would be fine in a few days. When I got home, I thought that I would wait a while and then talk to her about her attitude toward me. On the third day, I had some really negative thoughts: “This fellow practitioner won’t talk to you again, so there is no need to look for her. She is no good.” I then thought, “No, she is not like that.” But then another negative thought surfaced, “Look at her unhappy face—why would you want to talk to her?” I then thought, “That is not the case. She was unhappy then, but she won’t stray from the Fa or no longer contact me.” On the fifth day, these thoughts became stronger and stronger, and my mind was filled with her bad looks, words, and acts. I realized that the old forces were taking advantage of loopholes caused by my jealousy, were interfering with me, and were creating a gap between two practitioners so we couldn’t form one body! I immediately sat down and sent righteous thoughts.
On the sixth day, I met her and said hello, but when I started washing my hands, she left to clarify the truth. A voice in my head said, “Look, she simply ignored you.” I began to feel uncomfortable. I knew that I didn't want to be interfered with by the old forces. “Practitioners are going out to explain the truth, so I will too.” Meanwhile, I sent righteous thoughts to disintegrate the evil interference.
After we finished truth-clarification, the thought that I should ignore her and quickly leave because she wouldn't talk to me anyway emerged. Then I thought that I should completely negate the old force's arrangement and the gap they created, so I greeted her and said, “Let’s go together and explain the truth.” She readily agreed. We cooperated very well in explaining the facts. While we were walking, I shared my feelings about the past few days with her. She couldn't help laughing and said, “My human notions came up. I didn't control my temper and said some angry words. I wasn't mindful and didn't expect that we were almost taken advantages by the old forces. We have to pay attention and have every thought in the Fa!”
Teacher told us:
“When you are working together and experience friction, it is because of human attachments. That is part of one’s cultivation state and process, and absolutely not because someone is truly no good. A person’s good side can’t be seen anymore, as it has been separated. What you see will always be the side that has not been cultivated yet. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a compassionate heart, or should look at people in rigid ways. I’ve said again and again that you cannot see a cultivator’s good side. That side is simply terrific, and has met the standard. And what does it mean to 'meet the standard'? It is the standard of a god. Whereas the part of him that hasn’t been successfully cultivated yet, that part is going to seem worse as it works its way up and gets closer to the surface. But, maybe that person has cultivated very well. I hope that you all cherish yourselves, cherish others, and cherish this environment that you have. Cherishing the path that you travel is cherishing yourselves.” (“What is a Dafa Disciple”)
Let’s read the Fa more and be alert.
