(Minghui.org) The brutal persecution of Falun Gong by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) that started on July 20, 1999 enabled me to recognize the party's true nature of deceptiveness and violence toward its people. Whenever I came to a deeper understanding as I studied the Fa, I became able to see this dictatorship more clearly. I often felt that the further away I am from Marxism-Leninism and the CCP, the purer my heart am, and I am more relaxed and happy. The power of “CCP culture” in me started to disintegrate. When the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party was published and the wave of quitting the CCP started, I responded immediately. My mind and thoughts were completely liberated.
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Greetings Compassionate Master!
Greetings, my fellow practitioners!
I became a Dafa disciple on May 13, 1995. Before that and even on the morning of that day I was still practicing another kind of qigong. That afternoon, a relative brought over Master's exercise teaching video to teach my husband, who had just started to learn Falun Gong six days before. I came out of my room and started to learn the exercises. From that moment on, I never went back to the type of qigong I used to do, and have been practicing Falun Dafa ever since.
My fate looks simple, but it was not a coincidence. It was planned this way, as my enlightened side was honoring the vow I made long ago. The greatest god started watching over me, quietly. The state of my life was starting to move from human toward godhood. At the time I was burdened with more and more illnesses and did not know which way to turn. Master brought Dafa to my home.
The first four years of cultivation passed smoothly and pleasantly—especially during the first year, I was moving up like a rocket. The day after I started my cultivation, I saw Master standing behind me. He was dressed in a western suit with a tie. The knot on Master's tie was bigger than my head. Later on, I saw Master next to me almost all of the time. There was a period when I saw three of Master's Fashen standing next to me. I could not even see the head of the tallest one. Three months after I began cultivating, I saw that my body was transparent like an ice sculpture; my bones had a blue tint and my muscles had a yellow tint. It was amazing. I saw a young child, about a half an inch tall sitting in lotus position motionless in my Dantian. The child was wearing a red tank top and had a little pony tail on the top of his head. One time, I saw Master's Fashen as a young man standing in front of me and smiled. I often saw myself sitting in a brown colored wooden plate and flying high through the sky, with Maitreya sitting at the other side of the sky, extremely large. He smiled at me kindly as he watched me cultivate. I used to think those might be a part of my past, that Dafa opened up my memory.
During that time, I saw the exercises as the most important part of Falun Gong. The main reason for me to learn Falun Gong was to resolve my physical discomfort, to be safe and sound—those were also my fundamental attachments. I had a strong ego because of my social status, work environment, and the way I was brought up. I thought highly of myself. Because I was in a superior position, I was deeply attached to fame, personal gain, sentimentality, and the communist culture. Those shortcomings are easily masked in ordinary society. With the poison from the CCP culture, they usually can be thought of as desirable characteristics such as ambition, carelessness of worldly matters, and a great inner quality. These masked faults had taken deep root within me for a very long time, and they were unmoved even after all the political movements and education. In fact, they were masked even more. My “great inner quality” gave me honor and glory. Others respected and looked up to me. If I had not cultivated Falun Gong, I would have happily taken that karma and continued the cycle of incarnation.
The “ego” of living together in harmony and comfort contradicted the Fa, yet I sought it as normal. One day, our practice site assistant asked me to take care an affair. I disagreed with her, and thought her opinion was hurtful to others. But I didn't harmonize this incident based on Fa. Even worse, in my mind, I had the thought that I am a person with inner quality and principles, that I cannot do things that would hurt others' dignity. In fact, encountering this conflict was a chance for me to eliminate my ego, but I lost this opportunity because I used my human side to protect the logic of ordinary society.
Shortly after that, I went shopping and saw the grand opening of a store. It was very crowded. I bought a lamp and asked the cashier to keep it behind the counter while I shopped in the clothes section. After I paid for my merchandise, I took the lamp but forgot the clothes I bought. I went back for the clothes but the cashier denied the fact I had just bought them. I was not prepared for this embarrassment and did not know what to do. While I was explaining what had happened, other cashiers were suspicious of me and said: “Why would you leave without taking your merchandise?” My heart was moved and I started to get emotional. Right at that moment, a security guard got in front of the by-standers, he pointed at me and said: “I saw you walking out with a suit in your hand.” I was taken off guard and speechless. I came to claim the clothes I had purchased but suddenly became someone trying to commit fraud. The manager came out to resolve the situation. He asked for my telephone number and would get back to me after he investigated the dispute. The manager called me three days later to pick up the clothes. He was not apologetic, but I was happy. In addition to thanking him, I felt I was causing trouble for the manager and gave him a small present to thank him.
Even though I was within the Fa the entire time, I held on to my tolerance with bitterness, and did not have a fundamental understanding of this incident. That day, under such a situation, I only knew I had to endure. I calmed down quickly but I had this strange feeling as if I had not completely passed this test. Later on, a family member answered the phone call from the store manager and learned about what had happened. The family member complimented me, but my mind was still not at peace in a way I could not explain. This might be the process of learning how to search within and see everything through the Fa in cultivation. When someone encounters conflicts or a hurdle, how to handle himself from the Fa is a learning process. Sometimes it takes a moment, sometimes it might take a very long time.
These two incidents happened over ten years ago, so why do I bring them up again? It is because they marked the beginning of my learning to search within in my cultivation. They are also the foundation of my cultivation.
The days of cultivating myself passed pleasantly. Every day, I joined the group exercises in the park, studied, and shared with practitioners in our group. I used my free time to read, copy, and memorize Fa. My life was fulfilled and my heart was at peace. One day while I was reading Zhuan Falun, Master suddenly appeared in the book. He was wearing a yellow robe, walking barefoot in a long corridor (like the long corridor at the Summer Palace in Beijing) toward me in large strides. During that time, when the exercise music started, I was immediately covered by a warm shield from head to toe, and I could not move my body. I was in complete tranquility. Sometimes as soon as my mind started to wander, a strong force would bring tranquility back, as I was not allowed to have thoughts in my mind. I was able to keep my mind tranquil for the entire hour during the sitting meditation. Almost every day, I enjoyed this divine state of calmness.
At that time, I often felt very satisfied, I was healthy, and my steps were light when I walked. My heart was feeling light as well. I felt the Fa suited me very well as a pursuit in my later years. This also meant that I did not have a genuine understanding of Dafa.
Master pointed out in “Cautionary Advice” Essentials for Further Advancement:
“It has been four years since I began teaching Dafa. Some students’ xinxing and level of realm have improved slowly; they remain at the perceptual stage in their understanding of me and Dafa, always being grateful towards me for the changes in their bodies and for the manifestation of supernormal abilities—that is an ordinary human mindset. If you do not want to change your human state and rationally rise to a true understanding of Dafa, you will miss the opportunity.”
I still remained at the perceptual stage and could not completely understand Dafa.
Therefore, after the persecution began, as I had been deeply poisoned by the CCP culture for several decades, against my will, I yielded when the CCP demanded that I would “have to be in unanimous agreement with the central government.” No words can describe the confusion and pain inside me. I did not study the Fa for ten months, I only did the exercises.
Master has always been protecting me with compassion. Soon, I went to visit relatives in another city and came into contact with several diligent practitioners. They helped me a lot. The enlightened side of me awakened and started to take control again. At the airport on my way back home, I left my first truth-clarifying pamphlet. Then, I left many more inside the airplane cockpit. Even though I was somewhat nervous and afraid, that was my first step. Since then, I have been participating in truth clarifying activities to save sentient beings. I was nearly 70 years old then. I have been walking the path of cultivation with an open heart.
During the past 12 years of cultivation in the Fa-rectification period, there have been some enormous fundamental changes inside of me. Through every miracle, the state of my life validated Dafa as I slowly immersed myself in the Fa. In my whole life, this is the time when I genuinely let go of my human side and walked toward the divine. I thank Dafa and Master for letting me completely understand two very important questions: What is Falun Dafa? And what is the CCP? I found the true answers to these questions in the past 12 years. For some fellow practitioners, these two questions might not be hard to understand, but to me, the barriers were tremendous.
At school and work, I was the first one in my age group to join the Youth Group and the communist party. I was a senior official when I retired. I grew up in the environment of believing in only one ideology, one party, and one leader. This ideology is autocracy; its party is dictatorship; it is completely evil. Falun Dafa is the most profound and superior science, and it saved me from my old shallow and wicked, ignorant self. I changed from being confined to the point of only knowing to follow group rules and party principles, to understanding the Fa of the universe and the standards of the divine beings. In the past, I only knew the spirit of the communist party and did not know the meaning of xinxing. I was taught to put the spirit of the party before everything else, but the communist spirit is based in deception and violence. I kept myself in line with the evil central government again and again, and lost my true self again and again. When the central government committed major crimes and its power was in crisis, they would put more pressure on the people to make them unanimously get in line with the party. As a result, many kind-hearted people like me lost our consciences and put on a mask to protect ourselves. Our own party spirit would be established when others were overthrown, or else we would be the next target to be overthrown.
The brutal persecution of Falun Gong by the Chinese Communist Party let me recognize its true nature of deception and violence toward its people. Whenever I came to a deeper understanding as I studied the Fa, I would be able to see this dictatorship more clearly. I often felt the further away I get from Marxism-Leninism and the CCP, the purer my heart is—I am more relaxed and happy. The power of the “CCP culture” in me started to disintegrate. When the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party was published and the wave of quitting the CCP started, I responded immediately. My mind and thoughts were completely liberated. This was the most righteous choice I have ever made in my whole life. I knew the meaning of this choice. I thank Dafa and Master for saving me, and letting me understand the true meaning of our existence. I gave up the false principles I had spent half of my life fighting for, and became a person who cultivates Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and protects the true principles of the universe. I often forget my real age: I sleep five hours a night and am always full of energy. One time, as I was unlocking my bike, a young child ran toward me and asked: “Is this your bike?” I felt a little strange, I thought he might be suspecting me of stealing the bike. I said: “Why not? I have the key, see? Unlocked!” I got on the bike and rode away. I heard the child calling from behind: “You are awesome!” He was right; how can an old granny ride a bike?
In 2000, I started leaving pamphlets at higher ranking schools, police stations, residential areas, book stores, shops, transportation places of various kinds, and in baskets on bikes. For safety reasons, I often went out at night and during bad weather. Sometimes I would pick up a bundle of pamphlets and finish distributing them by the time I got home. I biked around the city and moved fast. One time, I got my hands on 20 DVDs made by overseas practitioners that contained a documentary on Falun Gong. I treasured them and wanted every copy to have the most effect. I decided to look for the dormitory for the Xinhua News Agency reporters. I accomplished this task smoothly.
To safely make it through all these times, the most important thing I did was to treat Fa study seriously. I spent a minimum of two hours daily studying the Fa no matter how busy I was. When I study Fa, I calm my heart and immerse myself in the Fa. I feel happy when I understand just one point, and am moved when I advance my understandings. The feeling was indescribable, my whole body and mind were in the happiness of “Simiao Siwu” The Great Way of Spiritual Perfection. My nearly hundred-year-old mother saw the changes in me after I started to cultivate. I made time to chat with her every day. She often said to me: “You go study (Fa) now, we will chat tomorrow.” Later, she read Zhuan Falun and Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party, and said: “Those who practice Falun Gong are good people; the self-immolations at Tiananmen square must be fake.” “Where did you get the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party ? They are all true, hide it!” Sometimes my sentimentality comes up and I feel sorry about not spending more time with her before she passed away, but when I thought about how Dafa gave this centenarian righteous thoughts, I did not feel bad anymore.
In almost every lecture, compassionate Master emphasizes, “I've told you to study the Fa a lot, to study the Fa, study the Fa, study the Fa...” Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference. Those are serious warnings. For a cultivator, no mistake is bigger than not taking studying the Fa seriously. One cannot view Fa study lightly. Through studying the Fa, my attachments became fewer and my righteous thoughts became stronger. One day, I saw a poster that slandered Dafa outside of our community mailroom. I was annoyed by it. I wanted to get rid of it but did not dare touch it because I was afraid of being seen. I did not know what to do. I sent forth righteous thoughts every day to eliminate the interference, but a month passed and the poster was still there. I decided to tear it down myself. Before I acted, a human thought came up: if I touch it, it would be a big matter in our small community—or worse, the 610 Office might investigate and I could be the main suspect. I immediately eliminated those thoughts, though. I was determined to tear it down no matter what. I observed the surroundings, and found a good spot in this high traffic area where the mailroom staff could not see me, and I could quickly tear down the poster completely. I went out during a time that few people were outside, yet as I got to the spot and got ready to tear the poster down, I suddenly noticed the poster was gone. It was changed to a sign for some kind of registration. My tears fell ... this was a miracle. I never imagined such a thing could happen to me. Like this, my human attachments became fewer and fewer and my spirit higher and higher as I have walked the path of the divine.
There is no limit when it comes to elevating one's level, “Different levels have different Fa” Zhuan Falun, English version, 2nd edition. Whenever I achieved a newer level, I would feel unsettled and blame myself for mistakes I had made in the past. Sometimes I think about an incident or things that lasted over a period of time. “Ego” and “selfishness” were exposed in various ways in my cultivation. During the Fa-rectification period, they appear as not completely eliminating the attachment to fear. I could have done many things better, but because of fear, I found excuses and covered up my faults. I felt that in such an environment, I had already made efforts to distribute some truth-clarifying pamphlets, letters, and DVDs and made some materials about the persecution. After my level was elevated, such excuses were obviously coming from ego, not from the Fa. I did not have a good understanding in regards to the meaning of saving sentient beings. As I went outside of my home to validate the Fa and save sentient beings, I was going in circles because of fear. I sought safety and comfort. Master said: “Yet for cultivators, fear or lack thereof proves [one's] humanity or divinity, and it is what differentiates cultivators from ordinary people. It is something that a cultivator must face, and the biggest human attachment that a cultivator must remove.” Study the Fa Well, and Getting Rid of Attachments is Not Hard. I used my human side to do things for Dafa; it was a big mistake. Sometimes, I felt tired physically and mentally, and was attached to consummation, but in fact, my cultivation was already stalled.
I had symptoms of illness in 2007. I was dizzy, short of breath and tired. I could not lie flat nor on my side. I did not want to eat and always wanted to lie in bed. I sensed that a kind of substance was wrapped around me and made me think that my life was in danger, as if I would not be able to get up once I lay down. I knew this was an illusion, it was a test, that I must pass. Every day, I did what I should do. I increased the frequency and length of sending righteous thoughts when I was feeling uncomfortable. I looked normal. Even my husband did not notice anything wrong. One day, while I was talking about overcoming illness karma, I asked “How come my spirit is up and my appetite is good when I clarify the truth to guests who were ordinary people?” My fellow practitioner knew right away: “Master is telling you to go out and clarify the truth to people face to face.” I was awakened upon hearing that. The next day, I biked to a nearby park to explain the truth to people in person. In the beginning, I had fear and did not have much confidence. My goal was to help one person a day to quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations. Couldn't I even reach a goal like that? Every person counts. I helped over 30 people quit the CCP. As my righteous thoughts got stronger, my fear was weakened. Without my even noticing it, my illness symptoms were gone. Two years later, I had helped more than 800 people quit the CCP. Not only I did not encounter any danger, I came to experience many touching moments. This let me personally experience that the bad and good that happen in cultivation are all good things, and that the sentient being are looking for us to save them.
One day, I talked to a 30-year-old man about quitting the CCP. We came up with an assumed name and he left happily. Shortly after, he ran back and said: “I want to be called Zhang Tongkuai (meaning 'overjoyed'), because I am so overjoyed today.” Many others left their business cards and telephone numbers, as they wanted to keep in touch with me. Some wanted to give me gifts. One time, a young person was walking by with a pure white pet dog. Since we started the conversation by talking about this pretty dog, after he agreed to quit the CCP, he wanted to give me the dog to thank me.
In summary, this big illness hurdle was different from the ones I encountered before. I walked out from being human, validating the Fa of “a divine being walking in the human world.” The bad and good that happen to cultivators are all good things. The good things do not come by themselves. It is widely divergent before a bad thing changes to a good thing. It is the process of letting go of an attachment. This hurdle changed my cultivation state, which I had been unable to break through. Why would I be I unable to move forward after my level was elevated? I found my attachment to comfort. I was not always diligent, as if I had just started to cultivate.
I used to be confused when I encountered physical discomfort: how come after so many years of cultivation, is my health not even as good as those ordinary people around me? I would think when my feeling were hurt: how come after cultivation, I still encounter intolerable, unreasonable, and vulgar fellow practitioners and affairs? I understood later on that these were all deceptions planned to help me cultivate. Without “discomfort” one cannot cultivate. Master had talked about this long ago in Zhuan Falun, but I did not understand it until I had gone through some pain. This is a blessing for cultivators only. I was in a different realm after I elevated my understandings. Is there any theory, philosophy or belief in the world that can change an ordinary person to someone who is selfless and always puts others first? The Fa's high realm does not intimidate human beings, but attracts them. Since then, I have become more steady at explaining the truth face to face in public, year after year. I let go of one attachment at a time, and corrected many different incorrect thoughts. When I realized that a thought that wasn't right, I immediately suppressed, weakened, and eliminated it so that it would not further expand. When my heart is provoked, my breathing and heart rate start to increase. I immediately pay attention to what I said so that the negative substance will not survive. This may seem superficial, but it is indeed the process of how I change and elevate myself. Little problems need to be conquered and corrected when they first emerge—do not let small difficulties become large crises.
After 2010, I was able to persuade over a thousand people to quit the CCP a year, and up to more than three thousand people now. I passed out large amounts of Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party and Shen Yun DVDs. Under Master's care, my path became wider and wider, and I gained more experience at doing the three things
My husband and I became one body, forming a study group and blossoming together. I took on the role of coordinator. We share the work and cooperate with each other, supporting and helping each other. I bought the raw materials, and he made the finished product at home (besides making materials for our own use, we also shared with other practitioners). To make sure I had more time to clarify the truth outside the home, my husband started to cook some simple meals. I sometimes pick up a dish on my way home, while he makes a soup or a vegetable dish. Everything tasted delicious. He laughed at me because I always wolf down my meal. My husband sends out the name list for quitting the CCP, and he puts truth-clarifying messages on paper money, which we never run out of. We two elderly practitioners share the work and cooperate well, utilizing our time as efficiently as we can. We clearly improved the quality and efficiency of our truth-clarifying efforts. I often cheerfully joke with my husband to make him beam with laughter.
To be more effective at clarifying the truth face to face in public, based on my experience, I pay attention to what people in different levels of society want to know the most, and what kinds of issues will touch their hearts the most. I often read some related articles and write down important points in notebooks. I've already filled three notebooks. I memorized some so that I will be ready anytime. I also linked what I have learned together so I will be ready to clarify the truth in an effective and systematic way.
On average, it takes me about 30 minutes to convince a person to quit the CCP, up to an hour at most. I want every predestined person to not only understand and accept the truth, but also to spread the truth. This is what I always have been trying to do. Among those that I convinced to quit the CCP, there are ordinary civilians, students, officials, white collar workers, people with high education, retired officials, security guards, government officials from the Political and Legal Affairs Committee and police departments and military officers. I have come in contact with people from all walks of life. I describe myself as an ordinary retired educator; this way, it is easy for me to connect with people in various professions and age groups. As the circumstances change, I continue to add new content to what I have to say, which has been very effective. Over 99% of the people I talk with are willing to quit the CCP.
Since a year ago, I often met people whom I had already convinced to quit the CCP at the places I usually go. I do not remember them, but they remember me. Therefore, I hoped to find a new place to clarify the truth. Master saw that my thoughts were righteous and thus made an even better plan for me. One day, while I was out clarifying the truth, I overheard someone talking about a very large flea market. Many people go in and out of the market and it is only a 30-minute bus ride from my home. I only need to make one bus transfer on the way. I went there and convinced a dozen people to quit the CCP in one day. There was a family of five, three generations, and once they heard the truth, four of them quit the CCP and/or its related parties. They wanted their three-year-old grandson to quit too. I said that he is too young. The grandfather laughed knowingly: “I just want him to be safe...”
I noticed that it is hard to control timing when clarifying the truth at a busy place. At times, the person I was talking to had to take care of other business before I finished. People in mainland China are deeply affected by the CCP culture and its poison. They will agree to the well-known cases of corruption, but as I talk about Falun Gong, they become serious and suspicious. A few would say something slanderous and leave, especially during the past few years. Therefore, I would talk about the wicked CCP and convince them to quit the CCP first, then I talk about Falun Gong. As a result, sometimes the person I was talking to had to leave before he/she would get to hear about Falun Gong. I realized this is not a small problem, it must be solved. However, I always looked for ways to improve how I talked, but did not recognize this problem as being caused by the evil. I decided I had to eliminate my apprehensions and find the hidden cause. One day, I was clarifying the truth to somebody. I turned around and saw an elderly woman sitting behind me. The elderly woman said: “I have been sitting behind you listening, you speak very well, you know how to talk...” I thought about convincing her to quit the CCP, however, our opinions were identical as our conversation continued. She was actually a fellow practitioner. She was frank and outspoken; she told me her style and content in detail in terms of convincing people to quit the CCP: “The first thing I ask is 'Do you know about Falun Gong?' I then clarify the truth base on the persecution of Falun Gong.”
My heart shook. Master! You knew my situation in such detail and made such a thoughtful plan, you let this fellow practitioner pass your words to me. I understood completely. This practitioner provided me with new ideas at clarifying the truth. Right away, I used her approach when I talked about quitting the CCP to people. I chose the order of the topics based on the situation, and the results have been good. From this, I understood that it is not as simple as what to say first: it reflects the cultivation state of a Dafa disciple. The Righteous gods and elements provide protection when Dafa disciple's hearts are righteous. Righteous thoughts can eliminate the evil.
Every year, December, January and February are the coldest months and also the hardest months for talking to people about quitting the CCP. However, in these few months, not only the number of people I helped to quit the CCP did not decrease, it increased. These are the months I had the most people quitting the CCP and taking truth-clarifying DVDs. I convinced more than 110 people to quit the CCP by the 15th day into March and had given out over 60 DVDs. I clarified the truth to people at new locations with full confidence. No matter how tired I might have been, I would become a different person when I entered this “location.” I sometimes talk continuously for over five hours to more than ten people, and I do not feel fatigued at all.
Around the time of the National People's Congress and Chinese People's Political Consultative Congress, I met a middle-aged man. We soon started chatting as if we knew each other. When I talk to people about the truth, I am very careful at placing myself in an appropriate position yet remaining modest. After exchanging greetings, I introduced myself and told him my occupation. I then asked him about his occupation. (These are the few fixed sentences I always say at the beginning, then, from there, I would have a better idea at what to say. The beginning part needs righteous thoughts, and to be natural, so that the other side can feel the power and closeness, thus a harmonized and compassionate environment is formed.) He unzipped his jacket and showed me the embroidery inside—“police”—I read it out load. I was alarmed but calm. I thought: You came at the right time, I will save you. I asked him with a kind and unhurried tone: “Have you heard about what's happened to Wang Lijun? Many people call you policemen black dogs, have you heard that?” I smiled as I was talking to be friendly. His answer was spontaneous and friendly: “People all know.” He also laughed as he spoke. We started a positive conversation. I found out his father was a retired government official, and his family suffered during the cultural revolution. I saw that he was empty handed, so I asked him: “Are you here to shop?” “No” “Then you are here on duty, arresting people?” I laughed, he laughed too. He said: “I am transferred to Beijing temporarily, to do security duty for the two meetings. I am off today and just taking a walk outside.” He then showed me his work identification card. That was the first time I saw a police badge. It had his name and title (section chief) on it. His words and behavior were frank and genuine, I thus had more confidence to carry our conversation to a deeper level. I started with the killing of students on “June 4th” at Tiananmen Square, then described the persecution of Falun Gong practitioners since “July 20th,” then the current crisis, I exposed the CCP's dictatorship and corruption, and how the ending of the CCP is inevitable. He listened carefully and nodded to agree. He agreed to quitting the CCP at the end.
Above is a summary of the course of my cultivation and understanding. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
Looking back on my cultivation experience over the past years, what touched me the most is this understanding: firmly believe in Master and the Fa, and conquer “selfishness,” then one can proactively harmonize what Master wants. The cosmic climate is changing and so is society—the situation is urgent. We should take the opportunity to follow Master's guidance, “do the three things well,” welcome the arrival of “Spring will return to China, and flowers bloom.” “Replacing the Earth” from Hong Yin (III).
