(Minghui.org) I was troubled by severe sickness karma for a long time. Half of my body was not agile so I had to sit for about half a minute after practicing the second exercise. Otherwise I wasn't be able to stand up, and would fall down.
When I practiced the exercises a few days ago, I suddenly realized that by sitting for a while to prevent myself from falling down, I was in fact seeking that state. I also realized that such acknowledgment is also the reason for my repeated failures in passing sickness karma tribulations. I always treated abnormal states as good signs of recovery, like everyday people. The body had no consciousness before, but now it does, and that must be a good sign. I felt numbness in some parts of my body and thought is was a good sign. When something hurt I thought that was also a good sign. I even thought that after every part of the body had hurt, that I would be cured. Isn't that thought directly seeking abnormal states? As a result, since I was seeking it, it boldly came to me. Therefore various parts of my body started to ache. After one round, another round followed. Such a state repeated again and gain. I found many of my attachments during the tribulation. I recognized each attachment and eliminated them, however it didn't seem to solve the problem. I then enlightened that for a long time, I had been trying to get rid of attachments to pass the sickness karma tribulation and follow the path arranged by Master, but deep down I unconsciously grasped for the sickness tribulation itself and could not get rid of it.
After realizing this, I said to myself, "I definitely won't sit to rest during the practice. I will firmly deny the sickness tribulation made by the old forces. I talked to the evil in my heart, “I do not acknowledge you. I do not! NOT! My master has already cleansed my body. I do not accept whatever you old forces push on me.” It's really true that, “...good or evil comes from a person’s spontaneous thought...” (Zhuan Falun). After practicing exercise two, my legs were not as uncomfortable as before. I kept practicing exercises three and four and felt more and more comfortable until I finished practicing.
The fact that I did not pass the sickness karma tribulation for a long time was really due to my mind not being right. I felt deeply shameful at the time in light of Master's merciful grace and help. I also felt deeply sorry for increasing the burdens on fellow practitioners in my family and interfering with fellow practitioners and myself in doing the three things. After I enlightened on this point I suddenly felt as if my entire body was empty, without any internal organs. My whole body seemed like a shell with a thin skin that was full of some milky materials but without weight. An unspeakable comfort penetrated my body. Such feelings intermittently surfaced for up to an entire day. It was not only a feeling but also visual, since the state was so vivid in front of my eyes. I sincerely felt that my sickness karma state was a false appearance, which was some external thing pushed onto me by the old forces. It did not exist in my body at all and I did not need to care about it. Also, this understanding was not like realizing a truth before, it was like a solid material that could be seen by the eyes. I firmly believed that no matter what tricks the old forces use on us, they will no longer confuse me. I master my own body and I will stay healthy and not allow any recurrence of illness! I am now back in harmony with the Fa.
However, on the second day I felt very uncomfortable again, but this time I had no doubts or frustration. I knew that the evil was reluctant to surrender and was just crazily fighting back at its end. This exactly confirmed that the evil would die out. I firmly finished practicing the four exercises. The evil was crazier than before, but I knew it could no longer affect me. It could neither shatter my will nor make me fall down during practice. The evil's days were almost over.
During the next two days, the evil became even crazier. When I practiced the first four exercises, my body twisted. If I didn't keep still, I might rotate in several circles during the one-hour practice. My heart was not affected. I knew the evil was always vicious, and it would not stand for just seeing me improve. It would do whatever it could to drag me down and ruin me. No matter how crazy the evil was or how uncomfortable my body was, I did not sit or rest. I remained firm and did not surrender to the evil. During the practice, I recited Master's Fa,
"If you do not care and do not put them on your mind, with the master and the Fa here what is there to fear? ...Ignore them!" ("Lecture in Sydney")
Gradually, the tribulation became small and I became big. After one hour of practicing, the evil got nothing it wanted. This thing happened two days in a row and I never wavered. I was fully confident that the evil would not last long and I would be the final victor since I had my master and the Fa with me. The Fa had deep roots in my heart, so the evil could not affect my heart as well as my body.
“If thoughts are righteous, evil will collapse” ("What’s to Fear?" from Hong Yin Vol. II). On the following day, my body no longer twisted while practicing. The evil collapsed in front of the righteous thought and power of Dafa.
I have been pondering the deep meaning of what happened during those days. When I listened to Master's lecture today, I was suddenly enlightened to two points.
First, we should completely eliminate the concept of “being sick.” Master saw that I didn't realize this for a long time, so he intentionally showed my milky empty body to tell me, “You have no sickness at all. Master already purified your body.” I should completely eliminate all the concepts related to illness, including fearing illnesses, seeking solutions to get rid of illnesses, and so on. The attachment of pursuit when encountering tests is an omission and could allow the evil used to persecute you.
Secondly, cultivating xinxing, eliminating attachments, and passing tribulations, are all things that we should keep doing, and cannot be completed in one step. Once you give up the attachments to the illness karma, Master will take away the bad materials in other dimensions. However, it would be a painful process to eliminate the concepts formed over thousands years of reincarnation and the habits formed during these years of tribulations. These could not be completely removed by just sending out one righteous thought. They have deep roots and exist in many dimensions and would come out to interfere at different times. We should keep righteous thoughts at all times and keep removing these concepts and habits layer by layer.
Through the years I had lingered around the sickness karma tribulation. One important reason was that I wanted to pass it in one step. Once there was any good sign, I thought things would be good all the time. Attachments of zealotry, showing of, seeking comfort, seeking things to do, and so on, all came out. How big this omission is! How could the evil staring at you not subject you to more persecution? This is the key reason that I could not pass this tribulation for all these years!
I now realize the truth. I will remind myself at all times to thoroughly eliminate these bad concepts and habits. From the standpoint of the Fa, I know that evil will not easily give up any opportunity to persecute practitioners. Also, I had many everyday people's attachments, some of which I didn't realize. There may be unexpected tribulations in the future but I will further study the Fa, keep looking inside, and watch my every thought. I'll maintain righteous thoughts and believe that whatever tribulation comes will bring an opportunity to improve. It will never again succeed at harassing me for years like before.
I would like to thank Master a lot for his help, enlightenment, and bearing karma for us! I will not disappoint Master, and will diligently cultivate to meet the standard.
This is my understanding at my current level. If there is anything inappropriate, please point it out. Thank you!
