(Minghui.org) I am meticulous and hard working, and my boss often requests that I train new employees. I have trained six newcomers, four of which were also my classmates. However, I recently noticed that these apprentices, now regular workers, were impolite and disrespectful towards me.
I was talking to apprentice A one day, while she was working. After I said just a few words, she said impatiently, “Don't talk to me! I'm counting.”
When I was working with apprentice B the other day, we were checking the accounts of some of the products. She had been acting as the unit head for a couple of days, and some of the details on the accounts did not balance and could not be accounted for. She then angrily said, “How come you don't know why these accounts do not add up?”
Apprentice C saw a colleague and myself put some raw materials close to her workstation. She said unhappily, “If the two of you do the same thing tomorrow, I will report both of you!”
While taking a rest at noon, apprentice D observed that my finished work was of less quantity than in the past. She mockingly told me, “Why don't you work hard enough? This is all you have done?” She then found a failed product that was made by me and said, “You work carelessly now.” It was not my intention to do my work carelessly. Then apprentice C came and commented, “Since you have become well known here, you have become careless and there is no one that is more careless than you!”
I felt a little sad that these former apprentices whom I was very dedicated to teach, were criticizing me. Now they are experienced employees and some of them are even key persons in their departments. I could not endure their attitudes towards me and I felt resentful. However, I calmed down a lot when I remembered that I am a practitioner, and that I should look inward whenever tribulations arise. In the past, I was proud of myself and thought that I was superior to my apprentices. Having experienced these frustrations, I found this attachment and thought that I had almost got rid of it. However, when they became so disrespectful towards me, I knew that I must look inward. I did not think that their behavior came from my attachments. But then why were they treating me this way? Was it possible that I was disrespectful to Master in some aspects? I thought thoroughly about it, but did not find any answers.
I then realized that it was the attachment to an inflated sense of self. For some time I had helped fellow practitioners write statements on their behalf, modify manuscripts, write articles about the persecution, and edit texts for a multimedia messaging service. I am acknowledged and praised by many practitioners for what I do. Gradually, my attachments to showing off, zealotry, loving to be praised, and thinking that I am a very capable person were exposed. Though I was somewhat aware that there was a problem, I did not dig out the strong attachments that were hidden deep inside me. Whenever I wrote articles, my mind was overflowing with well-grounded and reasonable arguments. I am amazed at the many skills I have. In fact, Master and Dafa have given me all of these abilities.
What can I really do without Master and Dafa? I would be like everyday Chinese nowadays who are poisoned by the Chinese Communist Party's lies and propaganda, wandering aimlessly in the maze, without knowing the true meaning of life. My predestined relationship is with Dafa and I am granted the honor and mission of saving sentient beings. Master said:
“… don’t let your human attachments become overly inflated and get out of hand just because you’ve done something or other.” (“Watch Out for Breeding Demons in One's Own Mind”).
I was ashamed when I remembered Master's words. Master opened my wisdom so that I could fulfill my responsibility as a practitioner to validate the Fa. However, I mistakenly took it as a personal ability and took credit for my accomplishments. Such arrogance really reflected my disrespect for Master and Dafa. No wonder these apprentices were disrespectful towards me. Master was giving me hints, and they were helping me to see the deeper attachments that I still harbored.
When I came to this new understanding, I suddenly felt my entire body become very relaxed, like a big weight had been lifted. The resentment towards the apprentices and the grievances that I held in my mind suddenly vanished. I felt a wonderful sense of elevation. The next day, the disrespect I had been experiencing from the apprentices was also gone.
