(Minghui.org) I recently met with a few senior practitioners who were going through tribulations related to sickness karma. After sharing our experiences, I found they possessed a common attachment to fame. They thought they had cultivated very well and were superior to other practitioners. They told other practitioners not to do anything else and solely prepare for the end of Fa-rectification. I was worried about them. I used to have the same problem and would like to share my experiences on this topic.
My cultivation state was very poor before 2007. Looking back, I realized it was related to demonic interference from my own mind.
I had a strong attachment to fame, but I didn't realize it myself. On the contrary, I felt that I had cultivated very well, much better than others. I often showed off my accomplishments. I told myself that I was a person with great inborn quality, and I felt that I had superior understandings compared with other practitioners.
Other practitioners often shared experiences with me and attempted to point out my shortcomings. I knew from my heart that what they said was correct, but I refused to accept their feedback. Acting out of jealousy, I became defensive and verbally attacked them.
I had grown used to obtaining the feeling of happiness that comes along with being praised, and I became frustrated when no one acknowledged me. The situation deteriorated to the point that I even made enemies with ordinary people.
Eventually, not even fellow practitioners wanted to talk to me, and they were no longer willing to point out my problems. I felt lonely and wanted to escape to the mountains. Fortunately, one practitioner visited me every once in a while, and although he criticized me bitterly whenever he saw me, I still wanted to see him. My inclination was to blame others, but I didn't want to offend him for fear of driving him away. However, I did not truly improve my xinxing, and just hid my attachments from him so that I could at least have someone to talk to.
My state of mind dropped down to the point that I developed a strong attachment to attaining spiritual enlightenment and leaving the world behind. In order to maintain my so-called reputation, I began to spread rumors that Fa rectification would end soon and became engrossed with telling others what to do. I used Master's words out of context to validate my actions. I felt as if I was higher than Master, although I did not tell anyone.
At this point, my health started to deteriorate, and I had a financial crisis at home. One day, I collapsed and had a fever for 39 days. My legs were swollen, I became deaf and blind, and big red lumps appeared all over my body. All my relatives asked me to go to the hospital, and told everyone to prepare for the worst.
Before I practiced Dafa, I was frequently treated for various illnesses. I somehow knew that my diseases could not ultimately be cured at the hospital. However, I still did not realize why I had these problems. I did not recognize that I was attached to fame so much.
My demon nature was very strong. Fortunately, I remembered Dafa and asked for help from Master. At that time, there was still a practitioner who visited me frequently, and although he did not say much, he supported me a lot.
I now feel very sad when I see other practitioners who are attached to fame, especially when they are persecuted because of this loophole. This reminds me of the pain and suffering I inflicted upon myself. I want to help those practitioners pass though these tribulations, as I am aware of the amount of time and energy others spent helping me.
In fact, not only is fame destructive, but the attachments to benefits and sentimentality are also roadblocks on the path of cultivation. We are lucky because Dafa practitioners have Master and the Fa to guide us.
I share my experiences with the hope that we can all let go of our attachments. I now realize the importance of the relationship between making progress in cultivation and our attachments. I also understand what Master taught us,
"Cultivation is about looking inside yourself. Whether you are right or wrong, you should examine yourself. Cultivation is about getting rid of human attachments." ("Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles")
It seems easy to look inward. But sometimes, it is hard to really look inward and find our hidden attachments. As true practitioners, we must firmly cultivate our xinxing.
A true practitioner actively works to eliminate demonic interference from his own mind. Demonic interference results from not looking inward with righteous thoughts.
Some practitioners only say good things to others because they are afraid of pointing out other peoples' problems. This approach only serves to enable those who are lacking insight. So whenever we see that there is a problem in our environment, we must proactively find the areas where we all need to improve.
I also came to understand that studying the Fa does not mean just reading or reciting the book in order to validate ourselves. We should strive to behave according to the Fa principles in all our affairs.
These are my personal understandings. Please point out anything inappropriate.
Category: Improving Oneself
