Expecting More of Myself in Cultivation and Saving Sentient Beings

(Minghui.org) Hello, dear Esteemed Master! Hello, dear fellow practitioners!

Master said in the “Fa Teaching at the 2013 Greater New York Fa Conference”:

"Through what’s shared in the conference you can come to see where you fall short, as well as see others’ strong points and build upon them."

After I first read this, I stopped and read it over and over again. I have been cultivating for 13 years, but I still see others' shortcomings instead of correcting my own faults. I started thinking seriously about my cultivation.

Lately, I've been feeling that I haven't been progressing in cultivation. While studying the Fa, I've gained no new understandings, and during sending forth righteous thoughts, there have been many stray thoughts in my head.

Master has told us:

“At the time, driven by the feeling from deep inside your being, you were able to renounce any human attachment and be determined to cultivate yourself well. That excitement could propel you to be diligent. But with the passage of time, that feeling was gradually lost. Human laziness, all kinds of human notions, and the array of chaotic things before you in society all combined to tempt you and interfere with you. Hence the saying, 'Cultivate with the heart you once had, and consummation is certain.'” (“Fa Teaching at the 2013 Greater New York Fa Conference”)

At the beginning of my cultivation I was very diligent. I had always been looking for this Fa, and when I found it, I felt very happy. I was strict with myself in everything I did. I used to sleep for four hours. I arranged a two-hour group practice in the park every morning at 4:45 am, and two or three practitioners would arrive. After doing the exercises together, each of us went to work. I used to study the Fa with our local group and also go to other cities' group studies.

When I worked in a big city, I put a table with petitions in a central square and collected signatures to help stop the persecution. Later on, other practitioners joined me. We did the exercises and sent forth righteous thoughts near the table with fliers and petitions.

When the art studio I worked for moved to my hometown, we placed the table in the center of our town and collected signatures there.

My mother lives in a hostel, and everybody knows me there. One day, I took some fliers and a petition and went from room to room in the hostel. I explained the facts about Falun Dafa to people, and because they knew me, they trusted me and took my words seriously. Almost everyone signed the petition. Later I regretted that I hadn't written down the numbers of the rooms where the occupants were out, so I could go back there another day.

I had a feeling that I had wings. In spite of the tribulations and tests, the Fa was always in my heart, and this helped me pass the tests in cultivation.

Little by little, I started to participate in different projects organized by practitioners to save sentient beings. In addition to being a coordinator in my town, I drew illustrations for the Epoch Times, edited videos for NTD, and started Minghui classes for practitioners' children on Fridays during the Israeli group Fa-study.

I always had the feeling that I was not doing enough, and that I need to do more and better. Master teaches us to do well in everything that we do.

I've always tried to do every job as well as possible. Sometimes I would stay up until the wee hours, working on a drawing or an urgent NTD article. Many times, I had no time to practice or to study the Fa.

Eventually, without noticing it, I fell behind in my cultivation. It happened because I studied the Fa less, due to the pressure of work in the media. Instead of starting my Fa study, I would come home from work and begin the media work, because there was a deadline. In addition, every Friday during the large group study, I was with the children in the Minghui classes. Thus, for a long time, I missed the Fa study and the sharing of our group.

Finding My Shortcomings

I received hints from all over. Once, I spoke to a fellow practitioner, who must have sensed the situation I was in. He told me things about himself that sounded like a hint, as if he were talking about me of not progressing or not being diligent enough.

If I wasn't progressing, then my town's group was affected as well. As a coordinator, I have a responsibility not just for myself. I understand very well that my cultivation level influences my ability to help Master save sentient beings, but it was not easy to make a breakthrough.

Because I studied the Fa less and had no time to practice the exercises every day, it got difficult for me to get up in the morning. Even when I went to bed on time, in order to practice in the morning before going to work, I would say to myself in the morning, "It's okay. Today I will sleep, but tomorrow I will surely get up early and practice." The next day I would say the same thing. Actually, the more I slept, the more tired I became.

I put on some weight, which made me very sad. This was one more of my shortcomings, but it was difficult to change things.

Thus, I gradually slacked off in my cultivation, but this was not clear to me until I fell down. I physically fell down in the yard of the building where we held our large group study.

A fellow practitioner helped me up and said, "Don't think about anything, just get up." I tried not to pay attention to the pain in my leg and told myself that there was nothing wrong with me, and that I was a Dafa practitioner.

Five minutes later, we began the fifth exercise. That morning, I had already done the exercises with my local group, but I usually use every opportunity to do the exercises, especially because I don't always have the time in the middle of the week.

Trying to cross my legs into the full lotus position was very difficult and hurt terribly, but I crossed them and sat for the whole hour.

When we finished the exercise, it was difficult to get up. My legs wouldn't obey me. It was also a challenge to drive home. The next day, I couldn't cross my legs into the full lotus position. Then, I could do the exercise for only half an hour in the full lotus position.

It was a test that I did not fully pass. At first, I told myself that everything was all right because I was a Dafa disciple. And, indeed, I could do the fifth exercise as usual. But later, I accepted my pain and did not manage to negate it with a pure heart. Thus, the pain continued, and I could no longer sit in the full lotus position for an hour. I realized this unrighteous thought only a month later, when I was talking with a fellow practitioner who had gone through a similar experience.

Looking Inside

Only after I fell down did I realize that I was not as diligent as I used to be at the beginning. Only then did I look inside.

I realized that when I was tired, I now went to sleep. When I saw that it was midnight, I'd say to myself, "It's midnight, and I'm tired. I'll go to bed till it's time to send righteous thoughts in an hour." In the past when I felt tired at this hour, I would study the Fa and put the book on something so it wouldn't fall from my hands.

I'd always thought that I was not lagging behind, but suddenly I realized that this was not the case at all, and it was very unpleasant for me. Yet, my will is strong, and I want to study the Fa very much. I want to save people, and it has to be based on the Fa.

I realized that I had to hand over the responsibility for the Minghui class to somebody else, because I knew that I was no longer able to do it, and because the children deserved better. They needed more than I had to offer.

I knew that Master knew my heart, yet the fellow practitioner whom I asked to take over the class was unable to do it, and I couldn't see who else could. I asked Master for help. All of a sudden, a fellow practitioner volunteered himself. Today, I only teach drawing lessons and am no longer responsible for all the classes.

Since the 2013 conference in New York, there have been changes in the Israeli branch of the NTD project. Temporarily, I have less work. I thus have more free time now, and I understand that I have to use it for intensive cultivation.

Cultivating and Progressing as One Body

From time to time coordinators' meetings are arranged in Israel. Coordinators from all over the country get together.

One of the meetings had a deep impact on me. I got a deeper understanding that my personal cultivation impacts not only me. All of us cultivate as one body. If each one is strict with him or herself and cultivates diligently, we will progress together as one body.

Master said:

"Forbearance is the key to improving one’s xinxing. To endure with anger, grievance, or tears is the forbearance of an everyday person who is attached to his concerns. To endure completely without anger or grievance is the forbearance of a cultivator." ("What is Forbearance (Ren)?" from Essentials for Further Advancement)

I have to learn to expect much of myself.

I am the coordinator in my town, so I am responsible for the practitioners in our group. This is especially so because most of them don't speak Hebrew and are a little detached from the one body because of that.

When I do not progress in my cultivation, it affects the whole group. Not everyone progresses at the same pace, so some people lag behind compared to other practitioners. But, we can't push the whole one-body backward.

I felt that, compared to other groups, our group was not really progressing. Yet, people do not become Falun Dafa practitioners without a reason. Everyone who has attained the Fa is a high-level being; otherwise, they wouldn't have been able to join Dafa. Each of them has a great universe of their own. That is why we should help every practitioner to progress.

I suggested that we memorize sentences of the Fa. We could then recite them throughout the day—even while working in the kitchen or being at work or in the car. In this way, the Fa would replace all other thoughts.

We started with "Realms" from the Essentials for Further Advancement:

"A wicked person is born of jealousy.
Out of selfishness and anger he complains about unfairness towards himself.
A benevolent person always has a heart of compassion.
With no discontentment or hatred, he takes hardship as joy.
An enlightened person has no attachments at all.
He quietly observes the people of the world deluded by illusions."

We shared our experiences of memorizing the Fa, and it helped those who had problems. Although we allow each person to progress at his own pace, we move forward steadily as a group, and those who don't keep up now know that we won't be waiting for them—they have to make an effort to progress.

If we do not cultivate well, we affect the whole body of practitioners.

I believe that it is beneficial for practitioners to be among fellow practitioners who keep up a high standard of cultivation. Some years ago, when I worked in a big city, I used to be around practitioners who demanded a high standard of themselves, but in my local group I haven't felt that way.

Each practitioner has his or her own understanding. I think it is important to interact with various practitioners face to face, just like I did with the practitioner who helped me see my shortcomings. I realized that not having such an environment contributed to my lagging behind in cultivation.

It is important for me to be among people who make efforts in cultivation, because they are determined and demand a higher standard of themselves, and it helps me advance, too. Otherwise, I'm stuck in my comfort zone: my work is all right, my family is all right, and everything is quiet. That was why I thought I was cultivating well, when in fact I wasn't.

Recently, I sat next to a practitioner who sat in the full lotus position for an hour. I saw how she was suffering, but she held on for the whole hour. I used to be like that, too; I would say to myself that the pain wouldn't kill me. I know that I can still do it, but on that day, I still quit early; I got used to doing that, using the excuse that my leg hurt after I fell down.

Recently, I started going to other groups for Fa study. I invited practitioners from my town to come with me. When I saw how other practitioners demanded more from themselves, I tried to be stricter with myself as well.

We must not let up! We all know for what purpose we have come down to this world. There are still many people to reach. Many times, I'm too shy to give a flier in a shop or elsewhere, and later I feel very bad about having been so hesitant.

Human society has deteriorated a lot. Many people don't even understand that they are accruing karma. How many people will be weeded out? Who will stay? People are so worthy of compassion! They don't know what awaits them… Everything is deteriorating now, but Master wants to save everyone.

Master said in the “Fa Teaching at the 2013 Greater New York Fa Conference”:

“Then whose sins are those, really? If you ask me, those sins aren’t attributable to anyone. It’s just how beings act, given the nature of the cosmos’s formation, stasis, degeneration, destruction. It’s because the cosmos’s wisdom was lacking. So, I thought that the best approach would be to benevolently resolve things for all lives!”

That's why, as a Dafa disciple, I have a lot of responsibility.

I need to break through all of my shortcomings: laziness, attachment to comfort, and so on. Even though I'm very busy, I must try and do the three things well every day. I believe that Master has planned my cultivation in such a way as to provide all conditions necessary to raise my xinxing and save sentient beings.

I would like to thank Master for allowing me to cultivate in the Fa-rectification period, and for leading me all the way so that I can fulfill my historic vow to help Master rectify the Fa.

I will be glad if my sharing helps other practitioners.

Thank you all. My level is limited, so please point out if something is not appropriate.

(From the 11th Experience Sharing Conference in Israel)