(Minghui.org) I have slacked off many times on my path of cultivation, and failed to let go of my ego, but practitioners' online experience sharing has encouraged me to make further advancement. My thanks to Master, for giving us this great process for exchanging our experiences, from which we've truly benefited and drawn inspiration. Many years have passed, and I've finally written about my own experiences, hoping this will serve as my report to Master. Fellow practitioners, please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
Following Master and Returning to My Original, True Self
My mother started practicing Falun Dafa in 1996. Her chronic diseases were subsequently eliminated, saving her life. She was so happy that she bought the book Zhuan Falun for everyone in our family. I was a college student studying film art at the time and had played roles in several well-known soap operas. I was totally focused on becoming famous. My pursuit of fame and fortune caused me to miss the opportunity to begin cultivating back then.
The persecution of Falun Dafa was launched in 1999. Mother went to appeal for Falun Dafa, but was arrested. I went to the appeals office to find out where she was imprisoned and to request her release. Whenever I heard anyone slander Dafa, I clarified the facts to them. Master must have seen my righteous thoughts and gave me another opportunity.
Mother was forced to leave home to avoid further persecution. She returned in 2002, and had a dream about persuading me to begin cultivation practice. At that time, I was exhausted from pursuing worldly goals. Nothing I'd gained had given me true happiness. When mother told me about her dream and advised me to take up cultivation practice, I broke into tears. I solemnly declared to begin cultivating, and follow Master to return to my original, true self.
Letting Go of the Attachment to Self, and Learning Tolerance
Master said,
“You probably remember something I've said to you often: a Dafa disciple should consider others first in everything he does. Whenever something happens or whenever a situation comes about, even if it's a minor thing, my first thought is of others, for it's already become natural for me--I just think of others first.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston”)
Due to my sheltered life and early achievements, I used to be arrogant, bossy, and self-centered. As soon as I started cultivation practice in 2002, I experienced a test and witnessed the benefit of improving my xinxing.
On one occasion, I spent a whole day editing some video footage. When I was nearly finished at around 8:00 p.m., a colleague accidentally deleted my project from the server while trying to free up more space. She panicked and asked our server administrator to help restore it, but they couldn't locate the files. I was terribly frustrated that my full day of work had been thrown away. The project was due the next day, and I'd have to spend the night working on it from scratch. I ran back to my office filled with anger.
I tried to register a complaint, but my first phone call didn't go through, and my second phone call wasn't answered. This made me reconsider the issue, and I wondered whether a cultivating practitioner should make complaint calls. I called my mother, and she said, “They didn't mean to do it. Nothing happens without reason. Isn't this a test for you? Also, Dafa practitioners should be good under any circumstances. Consider others first.” Mother's words helped me to calm down. I then received a call from technical support. She had been working all day and had just fallen asleep before my call. I felt sorry for disturbing her sleep. I completely overcame my anger and didn't complain about my loss.
I realized that my colleague must be worried, and went back to the computer room. It was a chilly winter day, and she was anxiously pacing back and forth in the cold room. I said, “Don't worry! I know you didn't mean to delete my project. I will do it again. It's a learning experience for me anyway.” She was so touched that she started to cry, and kept saying “sorry.”
I walked into the computer room, and then something amazing happened. The server administrator said that the project had been restored. Nothing was lost! All my work was neatly laid out on the computer screen. I was so excited, and thanked Master again and again. This was the first time that I'd experienced the good feeling of passing a xinxing test, and felt the happiness of forgiving others. A new realm unfolded before me. Consideration of others is a manifestation of compassion!
My continued cultivation brought me to see the beauty of higher realms. Those who came to know me after 2002 thought that I was an easygoing and tolerant person willing to help others -- in sharp contrast to the old arrogant and bossy “me.”
Letting Go of Ego and Offering Compassionate Salvation
The first time I tried to clarify the truth by distributing flyers, I didn't know about sending righteous thoughts. With my heart pounding, I timidly made copies of flyers at my workplace. However, the paper jammed in the printer and I couldn't remove it, no matter how hard I tried.
One of my colleagues helped me remove the paper and looked at the flyer with a confused expression. My fear was so suffocating that my heart almost burst from my body. I used to be a bold person and never got nervous while performing in front of thousands of people. Why were my hands shaking now? I found out later through Fa study that evil factors were causing this interference. I always felt heavy pressure in my heart during those times.
I was determined to break through my fear. I seized every opportunity to clarify the facts about Falun Gong to the other participants of this TV program. I was afraid at first, no matter how softly I spoke the words “Falun Gong.” Those who heard these words looked around anxiously. I later learned how to send righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil factors blocking them from hearing the facts.
I pondered my use of language and the content of my truth-clarification topics. I explained the persecution experienced by my mother and other practitioners. Since I understood the inside workings of the TV station, many people were interested in hearing the facts behind the TV coverage of the self-immolation at Tiananmen Square and believed me.
In order to clarify the facts about Falun Gong to more people, I often volunteered to talk to colleagues' children and friends about career opportunities. I started by talking about my career goals in the TV industry, and told them how the TV stations were required to assist the Communist Party and spread false information. I further explained why the Communist Party persecuted Falun Gong, and the nature of the CCP.
Every talk lasted over two hours and covered many issues, including the wisdom of life and principles of Buddha school cultivation. This process turned out to be very effective. The young people sincerely felt fortunate to have talked to me about these issues. I thank Master for giving me these opportunities and wisdom. Working hard for sentient beings and inspiring their Buddha nature is such a joy!
Another case made me realize that I'm capable of offering salvation to more sentient beings only when I let go of my ego. Before a flight from Shanghai to Kunming, I asked Master to arrange for someone with a predestined relationship with Dafa to sit next to me. I was pretty good at talking to young women, however, a middle-aged man with a large birth mark on his face sat next to me. I was put off by his large birth mark and didn't feel like talking to him. I then realized that I shouldn't discriminate between sentient beings. I made up my mind to talk to him, started sending righteous thoughts, and asked Master to give me an opportunity.
Flight attendants soon started serving beverages, but the plane then started shaking badly from turbulence. My drink fell on the man next to me, and I hurried to give him a towel and helped him wipe his clothes, then naturally started a conversation. I told him that I worked at a TV station, and he became curious about my job.
I started telling him how we'd received a list of topics each week that we weren't allowed to report on or mention. This led to the role of propaganda and how the Chinese people have been deceived by the Chinese Communist Party. I explained how the TV programs regarding the Tiananmen Square self-immolation and “besiege” of the Zhongnanhai Compound were made to produce false evidence against Falun Dafa. He showed great interest and kept asking questions. He told me that he was a businessman, and was heading to Wuxi to worship a big Buddha statue. I then explained the difference between worship, and cultivation in the Buddha school. I told him that Buddhas don't gratify wishes for personal interest and safety. A righteous cultivation way was the best path to follow.
Before we got off the plane, he said sincerely, “Thank you for telling me about all these things. I was deceived about Falun Gong until I met you today. I'll think about what you told me about Buddha Law. I learned so much from you!” I thanked Master from the bottom of my heart for giving me this opportunity. I experienced the importance of letting go of my ego. When I refuse to follow my human mentality at critical moments, my compassion rises, allowing me to offer salvation to sentient beings.
I know that I still fall short on many things. I have attachments to comfort, and sometimes fail to seize the time to do the three things. My attachment to worldly pleasure has continually decreased over these years. I feel true happiness whenever I clarify the facts to someone or help him quit the Communist Party, as well as when I enlighten to Dafa principles, pass a test, make further advancement in cultivation, and when I feel that Master is with me. Fellow practitioners, let go of ego and do the three things well!
