(Minghui.org) Master said, “The old forces have arranged for all Dafa disciples a set of their things, so if a Dafa disciple doesn't follow Master's requirements, he must be following the old forces' arrangements.” (“Be Clearheaded”)
Looking back at my life, from growing up to learning about Falun Dafa and my cultivation experiences, I have discovered that the old forces arranged a systematic “dial” for me. They wrote the script and I followed it step by step. The main storyline in the dial had to do with my attachments to human emotion, lust, and desire, and those attachments have been the largest obstacles on my cultivation path, preventing me from raising my level.
I've always been emotional since I was young. I easily fell for members of the opposite sex that I liked and was very sincere about it. I read a lot of romance novels when I was a teenager, and I indulged in sensual pleasures. Later, I committed wrongdoings and had an extramarital affair. From a cultivator's standard, these were despicable behaviors, but I used the excuse of “searching for true love” to justify my conduct. Looking back at my past, from childhood to my adult life, step by step, event after event, I walked according to the dial arranged by the old forces.
Therefore, the attachments to human emotion, lust, and desire became constant obstacles on my cultivation path. Sometimes I managed to pass those tests, and other times they were hair-raising experiences. The tests followed one after another, and they became more challenging each time. I often wondered why there were endless tests in this regard. As I cultivated, I became more sensitive to such interference. From the latest incidents, I have more or less figured out how the old forces' dial works.
A Sudden Attack of Lustful Thoughts
One evening two months ago, I felt a clench in my heart and felt something rushing into my dimension while I was sleeping. That night, I had many lustful dreams, as if I had lost control of my mind. Shortly after, I had a very strong sexual drive and could not keep my mind off of lustful things. After I calmed down, I remembered that they did not originate from me. They were lustful deviated substances from another dimension. There was a large amount, and they generated very strong interference that made me think of lustful things. I often sent forth righteous thoughts for an extended period of time to suppress and eliminate them. Because I was not determined, it took me a long time to clear them away and put a stop to the interference.
An Unexplainable Case of Attachment to Emotion
Several months ago, a male practitioner who I worked with suddenly became very affectionate towards me. He was always smiling at me and “looked” at me differently. I thought it was strange since I am a married woman. This was something that should not have taken place; however, I responded to his affection positively, as if I were still the same person of the past.
After I calmed down and looked at the situation, everything seemed to be a trap. Issues between men and women are probably something the old forces can easily use to test practitioners. Human emotion is erratic and can easily appear or disappear, but it is very lethal and can destroy a cultivator's will. It can “kill two birds with one stone” and destroy two practitioners at the same time. The emotional attachment between the practitioner and I was created in another dimension. That is why it appeared suddenly and without any reason. If we do not have a strong will and instead follow such emotions, the incident can be enlarged, strengthened, and then lead us to commit wrongdoings against the Fa.
After I saw things clearly, I looked inward to find out if I still had the attachment to the pursuit of ordinary people's happiness. Was I subconsciously seeking the love and affection between a man and a woman? I wished to eliminate these attachments and replace them with the compassion for sentient beings and the vow I made with the gods before descending here. At the same time, I recited “Expounding on the Fa” (Essentials For Further Advancement) to differentiate my true self from the false self and to enable my side that has attained the Fa to lead.
The process of eliminating the interference was not accomplished in one step. It took me months do to it. I was unable to figure out why I could not pass the test even though I already knew the cause of the interference and understood the Fa principles. Until today, while writing this sharing article, I have not been able to eliminate everything. However, from these two incidents, I now understand that the lust and emotional attachment came from elsewhere and did not originate from my true self.
The reason why the old forces were able to inject these substances into me was probably because of the karma that was accumulated after lifetimes of reincarnation. Perhaps I have created more bad karma in this regard and must now pay back the debt I owe. The situation also relates to the deviated concepts I learned in many lives. I have unconsciously absorbed the twisted romantic concepts from today's articles, novels, and movies. Thus, I did not heed the warnings and was unable to recognize and accept the attachments. Therefore, it is important to get rid of such twisted concepts. The situation was also related to the karmic relationships I had in my past lives, where some were good and others were ill-fated. The old forces fully utilized these elements and set up traps to get me, with the goal of destroying my cultivation.
Once I recognized the traps, I often added another thought while sending forth righteous thoughts: to disintegrate the dial that the old forces installed in me. Perhaps I made these mistakes because I did not see the old forces' tricks. But now that I can see them clearly, I will not follow their dial. Only Master's Fa-rectification can enable me to thoroughly negate their tricks. After these incidents, I have a more direct understanding of “completely negating the old forces' arrangements,” and I will completely negate and disintegrate the old forces' arrangements in my cultivation practice.