(Minghui.org) In April 1999, I made my first visit to a Falun Dafa practice site. I was wearing a heavy winter coat, hat, gloves and scarf. My face looked sallow and I walked with my back bent over like an old lady. After I practiced Falun Dafa at this practice site for one month, my back was straight again. My face had a rosy appearance and I walked with a light step. When I took off my scarf and hat, people were surprised and said, “ You are so young and pretty!”
Diagnosed with Brain Cancer
In 1996 I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. I had Gamma knife radiosurgery at Huashan Hospital in Shanghai. Before the surgery I spent several months having my medical condition evaluated. I was busy going to several different hospitals in order to determine what was wrong; finally the provincial hospital diagnosed me as having a brain tumor.
Before my brain tumor was found, I was misdiagnosed as having multiple sclerosis (MS) which could not be treated. Patients with MS may live for a few years knowing that death is certain. This prognosis of death weighed heavily on my mind for three months. After I knew that I had a brain tumor, I truly felt that death was coming to me and my life journey was headed toward the last stop. I felt desperate at that time, but I still held out a small hope that I could live.
With a very solemn feeling, I took the train to Shanghai accompanied by my husband. I will never forget the scene of my relatives and friends seeing me off. Their expression told me that my trip may be only a one-way trip. I also had the feeling that I had walked to the end of my life's journey. That farewell scene was like they were saying goodbye to me for the final time. I was only 37 years old at that time.
Other Health Problems Manifest
After having the surgery, I regained confidence about life and hoped I could quickly recover. I tried very hard to use psychotherapy to cheer me up and to get my mind back to normal, but it did no good. The symptoms returned gradually and I experienced dizziness, ringing in my ears, deafness in my left ear, and one side of my head felt like an empty shell. One side of my face was stiff and had no feeling. When walking, I often lost my balance and my eyes and head could not move freely. I felt sick and vomited a lot. My immune system was compromised and I often felt ill. Meanwhile I suffered from rheumatism, heart disease, hypothermia and other severe ailments. At that time I truly felt that if one did not have good health, one’s work and life all meant nothing.
My illness and pain also placed a heavy burden on my family members, both emotionally and economically. My family was not wealthy and now owed a lot of debt. We had to pay the medical bills totaling 20,000 plus yuan. The state had to pay for my medical bill of more than 30,000 yuan. During that time I was suffering from severe sicknesses and I felt spiritually tortured. I felt despair again. I felt that living was worse than dying. However, when I thought about my son, I shed many tears. I was not afraid of death, but I felt pity for my child who needed my love. If he lost his mother, he would be in a very poor situation. I cried so much for my son, until no tears were left. I lost my own mother when I was very young, so I had the bitter taste of losing my mother’s love. As a child’s mother, I should give my child a great deal of love. I had to endure the pain.
The Mental Torment of Terminal Illness
However, due to my long-term illnesses and pain, my temper became worse and worse with time. I often argued with my husband. I lost patience with my child and sometimes ended up hitting and verbally abusing him. My bad behavior caused severe mental distress for my son and my husband. One and a half years later, I had an examination and found that my brain tumor had only shrunk a tiny bit. Once again I felt complete despair. My sickness had not healed and the disease was still present. The most terrible thing was that my heart disease was worse. I had to take medicine every day. The quantity of medicines that I took was more than the food I ate. I could only take care of myself, and my husband had to take care of our son and the household chores. I could only work for half a day and after work each day I had to lie in bed. Except for having meals, I had to lie in bed all of the time including when I washed my face and brushed my teeth. I had a hard time climbing stairs. I envied young children, since they could move around freely and play. I, on the contrary, had to suffer in sickness and pain. Each day was as long as one year and sometimes I felt that I would rather die.
I Begin to Practice Dafa
In 1996, I read Zhuan Falun. At that time I only knew that Falun Dafa was to teach people to be kind and that it could make people gain a broader outlook and better personality. Since I was educated to be an atheist from childhood, I only believed in contemporary science. I refused to believe that Qigong could heal illnesses. Many people told me to practice Qigong, but I was not convinced. I worked in the medical field and knew that my bad temper could negatively affect my heart disease. I thought that if I continued to behave like this, it would be very dangerous for me. Therefore, in June 1998, I decided to begin cultivating Falun Dafa. I learned to do the exercises and had the book Zhuan Falun in my home. At that time I rarely studied the Fa. Practicing the exercises was a very occasional activity just like going fishing for three days and drying the fishing nets for the next two days. Practicing like this did not improve my bad temper, but my body gradually improved. I soon forgot when I last needed to take medication!
Truly Cultivating in Dafa
One day in April 1999, I accidentally came across a practice site near my house. More and more people joined the practice site every day and the numbers multiplied. At that time I still had headaches and felt sick, so when I went to the site, I only stayed there to study the Fa for half an hour and then I went home. After arriving back home, I started to feel so much better. The headache and sick feeling disappeared. I gained enough confidence to join the group to practice the exercises and study the Fa every day. I knew I had to measure myself by the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I had to be a good person. I tried to be strict with myself in every situation. I ceased arguing with my husband. When my husband lost his temper towards me and verbally abused me, Master’s Fa popped into my mind. Therefore, I could regulate myself and did not argue with my husband. I could also calm him down. After awhile, my family had a more harmonious atmosphere and our family life became happy.
Eventually, all of my sicknesses were gone completely. I felt that my body was so light. That happy, pleasant feeling was beyond description. I now had full confidence about my life and the future. Since practicing Falun Dafa I have regained my health and I can take care of all the household chores. It seems like I have endless energy! My husband says that I am a very energized person. My son now says, “My mom treats me too good. She does not yell at me or hit me and instead takes good care of me.”
Steadfast and Happy Despite Persecution
I have now cultivated Falun Dafa for 13 years. In 1999 I was illegally detained by the authorities and experienced harassment and other persecution by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) on several occasions. However, I still have a healthy body and my mind is full of sunlight.