(Minghui.org) I am writing down my recent experiences with the demon of lust to share with fellow practitioners. We need to be alert of this issue at all times.
I had a dream. The street was quite busy. I sat on the ground and watched a performance with a crowd. The crowd gradually dispersed after the performance was over. However, my legs were numb as a result of not moving for a long time, so it was hard for me to stand up.
A hand extended to me, and I looked up. A handsome young man smiled at me and waited for me to give him my hand so he could help me get up. I hesitated but took his hand. As my hand touched his, he suddenly tried to pull me into his arms.
My main consciousness woke up. I immediately recited the formula for sending forth righteous thoughts. My environment was then bathed with glorious light. My body shook severely as if in an earthquake. I thought it was the demonstration of the battle between righteous and evil in other dimensions, as the demon of lust was being eliminated.
As I woke up from my dream, I was quite calm. However, I knew that I had just experienced a battle in other dimensions. I recalled the scenes in my dream. Even though I was able to eliminate the demon of lust at the key moment, why did I take its hand? Wasn't it invited by my attachment? I realized that whenever I encounter someone of the opposite sex showing concern, a warm feeling emerges inside me that I find pleasant. I had pursued this warm sensation from caring men; I invited it.
This was just like what Master told us:
“Are you really that attached to doing that? Do you really not understand that it was a demon who came knocking at your door, thanks to your human attachments?” (“Be Vigilant”)
I looked inward further: What other attachments did I still harbor? I discovered that I had a longing for the care and concern from people of the opposite sex. A simple example would be when it's cold and a man tells me, “Be sure to dress warmly,” or when someone says, “Let me help you.” Wrong thoughts and illusions of love had invited interference from the demon of lust.
When I found these attachments, I started sending forth righteous thoughts to completely eliminate them. The fake “self” was quite sad. Tears were in my eyes. It was hard to break away from it. The fake “self” even asked: “Can't I even just think about it?” I said firmly: “No – do not even think about it. It's a sin. I will not acknowledge it.”
I now send forth righteous thoughts toward my attachment to lust every day. It has become quite weak as a result. However, when I slack off, it tries to come back. The thought karma tries to cause me to think of ordinary love songs or to watch ordinary romantic movies to alleviate my loneliness. However, I now see through the interference.
I know the elements of songs or movies will linger even after they've ended. Whatever we hear or watch will become part of the contents in our brain. Moreover, such ordinary songs and movies contain a lot of lust and other bad information, so how can I actively pursue them? Therefore, I set a rule for myself: never listen to or watch such things under any circumstances.
Cultivation is very serious. I have realized that now we need to cultivate each thought of ours. Once our thought goes astray, we may drop in cultivation level. Each unrighteous thought contains attachments and potential danger.
I have experienced tests many times in my dreams. Sometimes the test related to the words others spoke to me; other times it related to how a person looked at me. Despite being able to pull through, I was hesitant each time.
The reason that I have repeatedly faced the test of lust is my illusions of love and thought karma. Some thoughts and notions were imposed by the old forces; some were a result of my own karma. Through continuous Fa study and correcting my own thoughts, I have been able to clean out the majority of it. Once it comes back, I immediately suppress, repel and eliminate it.
We have to be able to distinguish our true self and the fake “self” composed of thought karma and postnatal notions. We absolutely cannot be affected and influenced by the fake “self”. Our true selves are pure and beautiful without any low-level dirty thoughts.
Only when we study the Fa more and rectify ourselves more in the Fa, will we be able to thoroughly cleanse ourselves, return to our true selves, and return home with Master!