(Minghui.org) I started practicing Falun Dafa in 1995. Over the past eighteen years, I have experienced three different cultivation states regarding the issue of looking inside: 1) Not knowing how to look inside, 2) Looking inside for my own improvement, and 3) Looking inside so sentient beings can learn the facts about Dafa from me and be saved. I would like to share some of my experiences with fellow practitioners.
My husband, who is also a practitioner, was subjected to persecution for the second time in 2006. Due to my serious reliance on my husband, I suddenly lost balance. I felt beaten down and could hardly stand up. I was very pained, and overwhelmed with grief whenever I thought of not being able to accomplish my mission of assisting Teacher in validating the Fa, and these thoughts led to painful contemplation of my destruction.
While I was immersed in pain, Teacher showed me the miserable scene of my sentient beings being weeded out. I was almost breathless at the sight. At that moment, I suddenly understood that my life exists not for my selfish sentimentality towards my husband, but with more significant meaning for my sentient beings. I have bigger responsibilities. When I became aware of this, I felt that my life and cultivation surpassed the realm of self. I live for my sentient beings, for accomplishing my mission of assisting Teacher in Fa-rectification. That meant that everything in my future cultivation is for others, not for myself.
After I changed my basis for cultivation, a completely new path of cultivation appeared before me. From then on, I constantly thought, "What should I do to save sentient beings and make them better understand the truth of Dafa?" When I slacked off, I looked inside and asked myself, "Why am I slacking off? There must be a selfish attachment that prevents me from being responsible to sentient beings. What is it, then?" When I resented others, I reflected inward, "Does this align with the Fa's requirements? The resentment itself is also an evil thought that arises from my warped notions and selfishness being touched upon. What is it, then?" When I thought this way, Teacher gave me hints so that I could see attachments of which I was previously unaware. Though this process of looking inside was quite painful, I understood that no matter what problems occurred, they occurred because my actions weren't in line with the Fa's requirements.
Thanks to Teacher, I overcame the problem of not being able to persist in practicing the exercises, and I endured the pain during the days without my husband. I calmed down and faced the pressure coming from society, family, and work. Meanwhile, I kept visiting my husband in the labor camp and helped to decrease his stress. I also tried my best to clarify the truth about Falun Dafa to people. I finally successfully eliminated the evil elements that extended my husband’s detainment in the labor camp.
During this time, Teacher also showed me the new cosmos's Fa principle of living for others. I was struck by Dafa’s breadth, selflessness, nobleness, and dignity. While looking inside from the standpoint of living for others, I saw how very different this was from looking inside for personal improvement, and I made fruitful achievements beyond my expectations. This made me more determined in my cultivation. The righteous belief I developed through Dafa cultivation allowed me to experience the realm of being unshakable like diamond.
When I told people the facts about Falun Dafa, I carefully examined the exchange, regardless of how the people responded. I stood in the shoes of the people who had listened to me, "If I were him/her, how would I feel? Would I agree with or resent my words?" If I did well, I also asked myself, "Why did I clarify the truth well? Which angle did I approach when telling him/her the facts?" If I did badly, I also asked, "What attachments prevented me from clarifying the truth well?" Through this process, I could identify the attachments that I never would have found in my personal cultivation. While saving sentient beings wholeheartedly, I found that my fundamental warped notions and deviations were also changed and cleansed by Dafa. As a result, I was assimilated into Dafa.
When I share with fellow practitioners, I sometimes feel that some practitioners can't identify their attachments, and feel that they are at a dead-end in cultivation. I think that if we look for our starting points in cultivation, maybe this will change.
The above is only my personal experience. I hope it can be of help to fellow practitioners.
