Let Go of Acquired Notions and Assimilate to the Fa

(Minghui.org) I have studied Zhuan Falun (Falun Gong's main study text) numerous times, but not long ago a particular passage suddenly caught my attention. Teacher said,

“No one knows what kind of qigong some people practice. While practicing and swaying the body, one mutters, 'Oh, my daughter-in-law doesn’t respect me. My mother-in-law is so terrible!'” (Lecture Three, Zhuan Falun)

It reminded me of something that had happened to me once.

My daughter-in-law moved out in March. I had been very upset with her since then. It was completely unacceptable to me. I couldn't stop thinking about it. These troubling thoughts severely affected me in every way, even when I tried to do the three things.

When I distributed materials containing important facts about Falun Gong in my building, a neighbor stopped me and asked me who I was. People became less receptive when I clarified the truth about Falun Gong to them. Fewer people wanted to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) or its two student organizations. I had difficulty concentrating when I studied the Falun Gong books or sent forth righteous thoughts. I had difficulty getting up in the morning to do the exercises. I felt sleepy and listless during the day. I was absentminded constantly. I continued to do the three things mechanically, but my mind strayed from the teachings of Falun Gong. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I found I looked old and tired. I knew I had deviated from Falun Gong's principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, yet I failed to look within for the root cause.

When my lease expired, I moved to a different place just one bus stop away. I didn't inspect the place carefully before I signed the lease. Once I moved in, I discovered that the pipe in the bathroom was completely clogged and the pipes in the kitchen were leaking. Worst of all, the range hood in the kitchen was filthy and covered with grease. The exhaust fan and the filters were covered with yellow grease. If I turned on the exhaust fan, it would start shooting grease on the wall. It was disgusting.

I was furious. I felt cheated by the realtor and the landlord because they had failed to disclose these problems. I picked up the phone and argued with the landlord. Finally he agreed to have them repaired. Yet the problems remained after several appointments with the contractor. Two weeks passed, and nothing was resolved.

At the same time, I heard that the old lady who owned the barber shop on the same street had reported a fellow Falun Gong practitioner who used to live here to the police. The practitioner ended up being sentenced to five years in prison. Once fellow practitioners heard the news, they didn't want to visit me any more. It really felt like what Teacher had said,

“Abundant troubles rain down together, All to see: Can you pull through?” (“Tempering the Will” from Hong Yin)

I was in the depths of despair. I was thinking like an ordinary person.

One day I was cleaning the kitchen listlessly when I hit my head on the edge of the cabinet. I hit my head so hard that I heard it thump. I felt my heart skip a beat. I felt a bump on my head, but it did not bleed. It actually didn't hurt much. I sat down on the couch and felt suddenly more clearheaded. I thought, "This must have been a blow from Teacher in an attempt to wake me up and help me to stop my foolishness."

I said to Teacher's photo, “Teacher, now I know I am wrong. I have deviated from your teachings. I have been burdened by my emotions. I was selfish. The old forces have exploited my loopholes. This is the reason why my cultivation state has been poor and why I have run into so many obstacles. It is all because of my secular thoughts. I shall find the root cause and eliminate my attachment.”

When I felt my head again, the lump had disappeared.

Next I started searching within my heart while continuing to do housework.

I realized I had still been feeling resentment towards my daughter-in-law since she moved out. I did not give them a wedding, but they had a marriage certificate. She and my son had been married for six years. How could she just move out like that? I had paid their rent and the majority of their living expenses for years. I even cleaned our home, did the laundry, shopped for groceries, and cooked for them.

I saw signs that she wanted a divorce, but what was the root cause of our problem?

I thought hard about the time we had lived together. I had called her greedy when she commented on my cooking. I had called her lazy because she did not do her share of the housework. I had called her frivolous with money when she shopped for clothes. When she lost her temper, I told her she was full of demon nature. And I constantly praised my own son and criticized her for lacking a woman's traditional virtues.

I constantly passed judgment on her. I thought I was always in the right because I practiced Falun Gong. I expected her to always obey me because I was older. I was very self-centered. I never put myself in her shoes or imagined where she was coming from. I forced my own ideology on her. How could anyone have put up with me? It was only natural that she refused to live with me any longer.

I felt less upset once I had identified my own faults.

I also realized that we bring many notions, preferences, and feelings with us from our numerous reincarnations. They can direct my behavior and manipulate me to try control others. When someone fails to meet my expectations, they will become restless and try to drag me down in my cultivation. I must be able to differentiate them from my true self so that I can repel them and then my true compassionate nature will dominate. This is not my true home. Why am I so attached to the everyday life here?

I thought again of what Teacher said in Zhuan Falun ,

“'Oh, my daughter-in-law doesn’t respect me. My mother-in-law is so terrible!'” (Lecture Three, Zhuan Falun)

I used to focus on the first sentence in the past. Now I finally noticed the second sentence. Now I finally see what a terrible mother-in-law I have been! I may not have verbally or physically abused her, but I judged her harshly.

I now realize why Teacher talks about “Mind-Intent” in the final chapter of Zhuan Falun . It is my humble understanding that a cultivator must be able to control his/her every thought, because eventually a cultivator's mind-intent carries very powerful energy. When a cultivator sends a positive thought towards an ordinary person, the person will be very happy. When a cultivator sends a negative thought towards an ordinary person, that person will be ruined. It is wrong to pass judgment, because no one can see the complicated relationships formed in past lives. All things in the universe can only be rectified by the Fa and can only be judged by Teacher. It is futile for a cultivator to intentionally make any arrangements, because no cultivator has the ability to make such complicated arrangements. A cultivator can only rectify himself/herself by following the Fa, purifying himself/herself with the Fa, and assimilating to the Fa unconditionally. We must let go of sentimentality, treat the sentient beings with compassion, and treat everyone with equal kindness. Only then we will be able to manifest Falun Gong's Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.

Now that I am clear on the Fa. I feel very clearheaded. I feel confident and energetic again. People have become receptive again when I clarify the truth about Falun Gong or distribute truth-clarification materials. The landlord also repaired the sewer pipe in the bathroom. He even gave me 300 yuan to help pay for water. The kitchen pipe has stopped leaking on its own. The range hood has also been repaired.

The biggest surprise is that my daughter-in-law has agreed to a wedding ceremony. She did not have any special requests. She just wanted to have a simple wedding. She also agreed to move back once their lease has expired. She called me and bought me a lot of food. Fellow practitioners have started studying the Fa at my home. As for the old lady who allegedly reported a practitioner to the police, I must save her from the CCP's lies. I must not give up on her.

Teacher rectified everything for me once my true self gained control and fought off my ordinary notions. It is truly like what Teacher has said: “Cultivation depends on one’s own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one’s master.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)

I now have a better understanding of what Teacher said about “Pacify the External by Cultivating the Internal” (Essentials for Further Advancement)

I sincerely urge all fellow practitioners to pay attention to letting go of all acquired notions. I would also like to thank all the practitioners who have helped me in my cultivation. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate in my humble insights.