(Minghui.org) When I sat in meditation this morning, it suddenly occurred to me to ask myself, “Am I truly cultivating or am I just treating the exercises and Fa study as a daily task to finish? If so, then what is the difference between me and a professional monk?”
Previously, whenever I meditated, I always waited for it to end. I wished it would finish earlier. Sometimes I recited Master's words to pass the time. After each section of the music, I would think, “Ten more minutes.” Then after another section of music would pass, I would think, “Five more minutes--it will be over very soon.” After I finished the meditation, my legs really hurt and I could hardly walk.
Today I thought, “If I keep hoping that the meditation will end soon, then what is the difference between this thought and the thought of hoping that the Fa-rectification will end soon?" I found that I kept looking forward to the end of the exercises instead of calming down and truly cultivating myself. It seemed that I did not believe in Master and the Fa.
After having realized this, when I sat down afterwards, I did not think anything. I had only one thought: “I will just follow Master and do whatever Master requires of us.” I stopped thinking about the time. I did not feel the pain anymore, and I was able to calm down.
Thank you, Master, for allowing me to find my hidden attachment. I said to Master, “I will never again be attached to the time of the Fa rectification. I will calm down and do what I ought to.”
