Letting Go of the Fear of Being Bothered

(Minghui.org) I made up my mind to eliminate the attachment of not wanting to be bothered. While I was writing my sharing, I realized that I was quite impatient. Only then did I realize that "being impatient" was led by the fear of being being bothered.

Since I was a child, I never wanted to ask for help when I encountered difficulties. I would rather solve the problem myself. But I soon saw that I was actually afraid that others would bother me, which made me appear a bit snobbish. This attachment surfaced only last year, when I began participating in the MMS project.

Choosing a project

Practitioners who have participated in the MMS project are mostly senior practitioners in their 60s and 70s. I am the only young one. I decided to join this project because, due to my shyness, I couldn't step forward to clarify the facts to people face to face. I wanted to do something else to make up for it. My mother, who is also a practitioner, said that, because I was young, it would be very easy for me to learn it, and that later on I could teach senior practitioners. So three of us--my mother, Practitioner A, and I--began this project.

Learning the steps

The coordinator was afraid that we wouldn't remember everything, so while she was showing us, she asked me to write down every step, then give a copy to everyone. We all followed the steps and practiced a few times. We seemed to manage it, so we wrapped it up and went home.

A few days later, I got a phone call from my mother, who said that someone was looking for me. After I got home I saw that it was Practitioner A. She told me that she couldn't send out an MMS message, and asked me to show it to her again. I told her that, by following my notes, she should be able to do it. But she said that it still didn't work for her, and she asked me to show her in person.

My impatience gets the better of me

I got very impatient. My mother was standing by and saw my reaction, so she prompted me by saying that I should just go outside with Practitioner A and try it to see whether it worked or not. I went with Practitioner A unwillingly. Even though we were unsure, we ended up sending 100 MMS messages before we finished that day.

It went well the first time, and Practitioner A learned how to do it. But she said that she had a hard time remembering the steps, so I told her that she should make the effort to memorize them. A few days later, Practitioner A came back and said that she had trouble sending the messages again, because an error message often appeared. She asked me how to fix it.

I got a bit upset and thought to myself that she was rather dumb, as no one else had encountered this kind of trouble. My impatience popped up again, but I didn't want to show it. I showed her how to send out each MMS message, and it worked. She was very surprised and asked why it worked every time I was with her. I replied, "One should look within when running into problems."

Whenever she came over after that, I wanted to hide. I later heard from my mother that Practitioner A said, "Why is your daughter so impatient?" After hearing this, I enlightened that it was time to eliminate my impatience. I therefore talked to my mother about my understanding.

My mother helps me understand

Teacher had arranged for Practitioner A to come over to help improve my xinxing, and eliminate this attachment, so I knew I should improve myself. My mother agreed and told me that even though Practitioner A didn't react as fast as I did, she didn't give up when things didn't work out as she expected. I needed to help her out while exhibiting a lot of patience. Wouldn't this be a good thing for me as well?

My impatience weakens

Practitioner A soon returned, and she asked me one question one day and another the next. Some of the questions I had run into before, but some of them I hadn't. I wasn't impatient this time, however, and I tried my best to help her out. I noticed my fear of being bothered became weaker and weaker each time she "bothered" me. This caused my impatience to taper off quickly, and I clearly felt that I had gone through some very positive transformations.

I improve in many ways

The way I talked with others also became more benevolent. When I saw Practitioner A, I was no longer afraid, nor did I want to get away from her. When I ran into problems sending MMS messages, I realized I'd also improved. This arrangement that Master orchestrated helped me understand how to look within. I became neither impatient nor agitated when problems came up. I could then also solve some simple technical problems on my own instead of resorting to other practitioners who have more expertise in dealing with technical issues.

I would like to thank Teacher for his saving grace, who has made the arrangement for me to improve my xinxing, I also appreciate practitioners for their diligence.

This is my first time submitting an article. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.