(Minghui.org) I recently replaced my printer four times. The first one was a pre-owned printer. The external ink reservoir system failed to supply the printer with black ink after a few days. Adam, a pseudonym for a volunteer computer technician that helps fellow practitioners, was unable to fix the problem.
More printer problems
I decided to buy a new printer, but the external ink reservoir failed to supply ink again after just a few days. It then dawned on me that it might have something to do with my cultivation. I might have a lot of minor attachments, but I didn't think I had any major loophole. What was going on? Adam sent me another pre-owned printer, but once again the external ink reservoir went out a few days later.
Adam suggested, “You might want to search inward. It is not a coincidence that only you keep running into the same problem.”
I disagreed.
I had searched inward, but I didn't identify any significant loophole. I was now at a complete loss, and I had not the slightest clue what my problem might be. He suggested, “Is it possible that you might have harbored an attachment for a long time, but you are unaware of it?”
I felt humiliated and snapped. "Why did you keep sending me pre-owned printers no one else wanted?” Yet, in the back of mind, I knew I must have harbored some attachments for a long time.
I had been practicing Falun Gong for over three years, yet I still suffered from rhinitis. It is evident that I didn't know what my fundamental attachment was. I felt miserable. I often begged Teacher from my heart, “Teacher, what is my pitfall? Please give me a hint, because I really would like to cultivate myself better!”
Improved Fa study
Maybe Teacher saw that I sincerely wanted to improve myself, because I soon had an opportunity to study the Fa with Bridget (pseudonym) at her home every day. By the time we started, I already knew I was absent-minded when I studied the Fa alone. Therefore, I cherished the opportunity to study the Fa with her. I made sure no one could reach me or interrupt me while I studied the Fa. I would travel to Bridget's home every evening, whatever the weather, to study the Fa with her. The quality of my Fa study was significantly enhanced.
Continued arrogance
I bought a brand new printer a few days later. It was several times more expensive than the first printer. This time I coerced Charles, a pseudonym of another volunteer computer technician that helps fellow practitioners, to hook up the external ink reservoir to the printer for me. I threatened him, “If you don't install the ink reservoir for me, I will return the printer and quit producing Falun Gong truth-clarification materials altogether. I will concentrate on cultivating myself instead.” In hindsight, I had deviated further away from the Fa in making such a threat.
Once the external ink reservoir was set up, the red ink cartridge began to leak. I had no choice but to call Adam for help. He tried repeatedly, but it only got worse. I was speechless as to the reason for this series of problems.
Listening but not hearing
Adam finally made some uncomfortably direct comments on my cultivation status. Although most of his comments fell on deaf ears, I did remember he called me selfish. Once again, I disagreed with him. I had always regarded myself as quite selfless and considerate. It was simply impossible for me to suffer from such severe consequences of being selfish.
Teacher said,
“When someone is doing a wrong deed, he will not believe it if you point out to him that he is doing a wrong deed. That person indeed will not believe that he is doing something wrong. Some people evaluate themselves with the declined moral standard. Because the criteria for assessment have changed, they consider themselves better than others.” (Lecture One in Zhuan Falun)
I still feel embarrassed to this day when I think of that day.
Trying to do it myself
I attempted to print something the next day, but this time the printer couldn't get any ink at all. I now realized the severity of the problem and that I must have had a significant loophole that I was unaware of for a long time. What should I do? I was embarrassed to call Adam or Charles for help anymore. I decided to follow the user's manual and called customer service for help. While I was troubleshooting the problem, I made up my mind to learn the basic troubleshooting skills and stop depending on fellow practitioners for every trivial problem. I tried for two days, but I failed to fix the problem. When I added red ink by following the instructions from customer service, I realized the red ink cartridge might be missing the bottom because it started leaking right away.
I finally lost it.
I burst into tears and began to sob. I then confessed to Teacher that I was in the wrong. “Teacher, what should I do? I was wrong. I am too selfish. Why did I buy such an expensive printer? I told myself I needed this printer because it was quieter, but the truth was that I prefer new printers. I will never reject pre-owned printers again. I must eliminate my attachment to selfishness.”
Maybe Teacher saw I was very sincere when I admitted I was in the wrong, because the red ink cartridge stopped leaking when I added ink the next time. However, the printer still failed to get any ink from the ink reservoir. I talked to the printer in an attempt to persuade it to work, but it still did not work.
I decided to put the technical problem on the back burner and focused on searching inward, yet I was still unable to find the root cause.
Adam called on me a few days later to follow up, and I told him the approaches I had tried the past few days. He turned on the printer and began troubleshooting. While I was watching him work, I commented on his methods and even argued with him, because I thought I was more experienced with this printer. In fact, I had always thought he was not a good computer technician. He concluded that it was either that the store had sold me a fake name brand printer or that there was a defect in the external ink reservoir. I had bought the printer and the external ink supply system against his advice, so it was very distressing to know that I had made a bad purchase. I told him that I would buy a new external ink supply system and return everything if that still didn't not solve the problem.
Finding my attachments
That evening Bridget suggested that we study “What is a Dafa Disciple.” After we studied the article, I asked what she thought Teacher was trying to say. While she was sharing her understanding, two things she said caught my attention - “searching inward” and “working with one another.” It dawned on me that those were the exact two things I had failed to do lately!
I began to search inward in front of Bridget.
“The printers fail to get ink from the ink reservoir. It is not because the printer failed to work with the ink reservoir, but because I failed to work with Adam.”
“Why do you have problems working with Adam?” she asked.
“I feel a lot of resentment toward Adam. I resent him because he is forgetful, and the quality of his work fails to meet my expectations. I also resent him because I think he feels superior. He looks down on me, because he thinks he memorizes the Fa better. I don't trust him, because he is not technical enough and refuses to hone his technical skills.”
No sooner had I made these comments than I discovered I had the exact same attachments I resented Adam for. In fact, I was probably even worse than Adam. I immediately sent out a powerful thought to completely eradicate my resentment towards him, my arrogance, my distrust in others, and my feeling of superiority. I also sent out a thought to eradicate all degenerated beings in my energy field. I felt warmth on top of my head. I knew I had identified my attachments.
Adam called on me three days later and offered to replace the external ink reservoir system for me. I asked him not to, and I explained to him that I had identified my attachments and that I was determined to resolve the problem through my cultivation practice.
I didn't want to turn on the printer just yet, because I needed more time to eliminate those secular thoughts in my mind.
A timely reminder
I turned on my PC in the afternoon and found a fellow practitioner's article entitled, “Mighty Power Resulted from Righteous Thoughts.” It reminded me to send forth righteous thoughts. I immediately sent forth a thought to completely eradicate all the elements that had prevented me from working well with Adam or that had prevented my printer and ink system from working together. I must eliminate all evil elements in other dimensions that obstruct us from saving the world's people.
When I turned on the printer again, all five ink cartridges were shortly filled with ink. I was so excited that tears ran down my face. I thanked Teacher for His guidance.
A fellow practitioner once said that she was unable to identify her attachments because she did not study the Fa well.
Teacher said,
“That is why Fa-study is still the most, most important thing—it is the fundamental guarantee for all that you are to do. If you cannot keep up in Fa-study, then there is no hope.” (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa - Fa Teaching Given at the 2011 Washington DC Metro Area Fa Conference”)
If I had not studied the Fa diligently with Bridget, I would never have been able to overcome this obstacle.
