(Minghui.org) I had a dream a few days ago in which I was performing for a group of students. I was singing a pop song, "Good people are free from misfortune all their lives." After I sang, I told the secretary of the school's Youth League (a Chinese Communist Party organization whose members are between the ages of 14 and 28) that the performance was a Youth League activity, and that she should create a display board to report on the performance. I even offered her a title for the report, "Hope."
That was my dream. After waking up, I was embarrassed about associating with a communist organization, and wondered how this could have happened, as I thought I was all too aware of the evil nature of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). I kept thinking about and recalling my dream carefully, feeling that Master must want to show me something I needed to enlighten to. It was not as simple as, “I shouldn't have worked for the Party.” But I couldn't figure it out.
Ill-placed Hope
After a discussion with fellow practitioners after our Fa study one day, I realized that the dream had revealed my unconscious hope that the Party would redress the persecution of Falun Gong. Positive news about the new leaders in China, including the motion to terminate forced labor camps, and the exposure of the torture in those camps, had increased my trust in the new leaders. I even started to believe, to a degree, that the the persecution would be redressed soon.
I knew from the Fa that we should not have any hope for the Party. I wondered what this unconscious hope meant. Why did I still have hope for the Party? Was it because I didn't fully believe in Master? Was there something deep in my heart that kept me from fully trusting Master? I could feel it was there, but couldn't tell what it was.
When I was watching a video of the 2008 Shen Yun Performance, I suddenly understood what that thing was. It was a notion, a thinking pattern shaped by the communist society over decades. In the over 60 years that the Chinese Communist Party has been in power, there have been no consistent rules or values in politics or in society.
The Party can switch what it criticizes and what it promotes overnight. In order to maintain its power, it manipulates the judicial and law enforcement systems and public opinion to suppress its enemies. When situations change, those groups and issues that have been suppressed will be redressed according to which group is in control. Because this kind of overthrow and regaining of power has happened frequently in recent history, people have become used to the pattern, and believe that the status of the suppressed will be restored when there is a change in political power.
In a normal society, the behavior of the CCP would have caused its downfall many times, but Chinese people seem to get used to its “mistakes” (including crimes against humanity) and believe that the Party is able to correct its wrongdoings. I think that some democratic activists, political dissidents, and even Falun Gong practitioners are still stuck in this notion.
In my case, there was something else inside that pushed me to believe in the Party to a degree. It was the impulse for “self-protection.” Over 60 years of brutal communist rule has taught the Chinese that there are consequences for not aligning with the Party. The Falun Gong principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and practitioners' efforts to counter the persecution are definitely not in line with the Party. In the face of the severe persecution, the idea to protect myself grew in my heart quietly. I was considering how to clarify the truth while not irritating the Party and causing trouble for myself. Hoping that the Party would someday redress the persecution of Falun Gong seemed an easy way out. It was a selfish thought, borne out of an impulse to protect myself, that had aroused this unrealistic hope.
In my dream, I wished that all good people could be free of misfortune, but the solution depended on the Party.
I am sharing my thoughts with fellow practitioners, hoping that those who have have ideas similar to mine will take my experience as a lesson and avoid the same mistake.
