(Minghui.org) I started practicing Falun Dafa in 2008. Due to my job, I seldom contacted fellow practitioners and practically cultivated alone. I knew that the Fa was the universal law and I knew how precious It was. But due to my shallow understanding of Dafa, deep down inside I had two bad thoughts: I looked down on others, thinking that I was superior to them because I knew Dafa; and I thought that I had nothing to fear because I had obtained the Fa.
Due to these incorrect thoughts, I was not understood by others. When I told people about Falun Gong and the persecution, most of the time I was showing off rather than presenting Dafa to them, so the results were very bad. I did not look inward and felt disappointed in the person I was talking with, and thought: “I just told you about the Fa of the Universe. It's so good, so why can't you accept it?” I then held a grudge against that person. It seemed like instead of saving people, I was pushing them further away.
I stayed in this state for too long and ended up being persecuted by the Chinese Communist Party. I now understand why Master repeatedly told us to study the Fa more. As long as we study the Fa well, we will be more assimilated with the Fa, so we will become more rational and our thoughts and actions will be in accordance with the Fa. Then we will be closer to the universal principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.
When I was in illegally detained in prison, I didn't have righteous thoughts and was fearful. I believed the lies and propaganda of those who tried to lead me away from the Fa and I renounced my belief. Luckily, deep down I knew that Dafa was good. The good and evil thoughts fought a battle in my mind. Luckily, the good thoughts won.
After coming out of prison, because the evil thoughts were not completely cleaned out, I did not study the Fa for a long time. With the help of some fellow practitioners, I realized my mistakes and started to recite the Fa with them. Many issues were easily resolved and I knew what I should do.
During that period, my thoughts were still not focused and seemed to stray quite often. I kept reminding myself to study the Fa, and follow Master's instructions to resist bad thoughts. Sometimes, my head was filled with strong bad thoughts and I could not get rid of them, so I just watched them without attaching myself to them. Soon these bad thoughts were gone.
I could not cross my legs in the full lotus position to do the fifth exercise, so before meditation I told myself, “I must hold on no matter how painful it is.” However, my legs were in such pain that my whole body trembled and I just had to uncross them. This continued for a very long time. Later, I talked with a fellow practitioner, who told me that he just refused to put his legs down until the music stopped. He got blisters from putting his legs in the full lotus position. But he just ignored them, and in a short span of time he passed the test and could easily keep his legs in the full lotus position for the entire meditation exercise.
I also came across an article on the Minghui website, in which a fellow practitioner said that he was able to do the meditation for more than one hour the first time he meditated. I thought that I should be able to break this mental barrier. So I just concentrated on one thought, “Don't put my legs down as long as the exercise music is still playing.” For the first time, I was able to hold the full lotus position until the music stopped. For other practitioners having difficulty holding the full lotus position, please strengthen your righteous thoughts, and you can definitely break through this barrier.
Before, when I saw the shortcomings of fellow practitioners, I looked down on them and thought that they did not cultivate well. Now, through studying the Fa, I realized that I did not have compassion, and did not look inward. I did not cultivate myself. Actually, I found that many practitioners had really improved in cultivation. For example, once a fellow practitioner was shopping, and a saleswoman mistakenly thought he took something from inside the store without paying for it. The practitioner explained things to her with a calm heart. However, the saleswoman did not listen at all, but made many offensive remarks. She went on and on, but the practitioner kept calm and just listened to her. Many people gathered around to watch. Later, another customer returned the item to the saleswoman and told her that he had taken it by mistake. The saleswoman was very embarrassed and apologized to the practitioner. The practitioner calmly accepted her apologies, and used this opportunity to clarify the facts to her.
