(Minghui.org) I started practicing Falun Dafa at the end of 1996. At that time, I was in pain and only paid attention to doing the exercises because I was keen on getting rid of the illnesses. The healing effect was quite remarkable.
I rarely went to group Fa study, so I didn't have a proper understanding of the Fa principles and wasted many precious years. When the persecution started, my understanding of the Fa was still at the level of healing and fitness. I thought that Falun Dafa was good, Master was good, and Dafa had cured my illnesses.
I had very little understanding about safeguarding the Fa and was content with not doing anything I didn't feel comfortable about. I regarded the persecution as something between other people and didn't know how to look at it from the perspective of the Fa.
During the rampant persecution, I did not have many righteous thoughts in dealing with the harassment from the CCP, nor did I have any compassion. My heart was filled with hatred, contention, fear and hopelessness. This state of mind unwittingly prolonged the persecution.
Gradually, I practiced the exercises less and less and put away the Dafa books. I also began to doubt Dafa. In order to avoid further persecution, I tried to keep away from other practitioners and cut off all sources of information about Dafa.
During that period of time, I felt depressed, empty and hopeless in my heart all day long, and life was no longer meaningful. When I walked the streets, I felt like an utterly worthless person. Master is so compassionate and does not want to leave any Dafa disciple behind - even someone like me with such poor enlightenment quality.
Master said:
“Someone said to me: 'Teacher, it’s enough to be a good person among everyday people. Who can succeed in cultivation?' After hearing that, I felt really disappointed!” (Zhuan Falun)
You may think that this person's enlightenment quality was poor. I was exactly like that, and for a long time; I never believed that a human being could become divine.
By 2002, I had already unwittingly separated myself from the Fa and was almost reduced to an everyday person. Symptoms of sickness karma also started to recur such as high blood pressure, reduced blood flow to my head, etc. I did not enlighten to this, and instead put my hopes in health products sold through a pyramid scheme.
Perhaps Master thought that my enlightenment quality was so poor that He had to wake me up directly.
One morning, I got up and started to make breakfast when a drop of oil splashed into my right eye causing blindness. I was scared to death when I looked in the mirror and saw that the iris of my right eye had turned completely white. I went to the hospital for treatment and the doctor felt it was serious enough to admit me immediately, concerned that an infection would cause permanent blindness.
Luckily, my husband (a fellow practitioner) had strong righteous thoughts and suggested that this was a hint from Master. I also realized that I was treating myself as an everyday person, so I went home. I woke up the next morning to find my eye back to normal and I went to work as usual.
Another incident played an important role in helping me return to Dafa. One day on my way to work, I saw a small poster on a power line with just four written lines: “The Fa rectifies the cosmos, the Evil is completely eliminated. The Fa rectifies Heaven and Earth, immediate retribution in this lifetime.”
Although I didn't know at the time that they were Master's Fa-rectification verses, I felt like I'd suddenly awakened from a dream. The impact was so powerful that I felt an enormous warm current running through my whole body!
I can't find words to describe the feeling of excitement and happiness that I had not experienced for a long, long time. I knew that this power came from Dafa, that compassionate Master was calling me, a disappointing disciple, to quickly turn around.
Master did not leave me behind. Fellow practitioners began giving me Master's new teachings and Minghui Weekly. I was very fortunate to return to Dafa, step by step.
Escaped from Danger Three Times under Master's Protection and Care
Master said,
“When you really cultivate on a true path nobody will dare to just go and give you trouble, and what’s more, you have my Law Bodies protecting you, so you won’t run into any danger.” (Zhuan Falun)
Upon my return to Dafa cultivation, I experienced three incidents from which I escaped from danger. In the first incident, I was walking along a street where workers were cutting down trees. Suddenly, I felt a gust of wind that pushed me forward from behind; people by the roadside looked stupefied with their mouths wide open. I turned around and saw a tree trunk, about a foot in diameter had fallen inches from me. The workmen in the tree were quite shaken. I knew that Master had saved me. However, I was still not up to a practitioner's standard in my cultivation and didn't think about validating the Fa at the time. The second time I escaped from danger, I was almost at the top of some stairs when suddenly, my young nephew came running to me. He took my by surprise and my hands were full. The two of us fell backward and rolled down the staircase. I fell so hard that I lost consciousness for a moment. When I came to, I saw the little boy crying nearby and had a little headache. I shook my head and then felt fine. I then realized that neither of us had the slightest injury. I was moved to tears. Master went through a lot of trouble for a muddleheaded disciple like me!
One day after dinner, I was sitting in the lounge room discussing something with my husband. I don't know why I suddenly got up and left the sofa, but that very moment, the thick glass ceiling lamp shade crashed where I was sitting. It bounced and hit the coffee table made of glass reinforced with plastic, causing a big crack on the surface. I dared not imagine what would have happened if it had hit my head! Once again, our gracious Master saved my life. How could I not cultivate well and be worthy of our revered Master's merciful protection? When I truly calmed down to study the Fa attentively, I was often in tears of sorrow. I had let Master down and almost missed the precious opportunity of thousands of years.
Most Fortunate for Returning to Dafa Cultivation – a Practitioner on the Path towards Divinity
I started to read the precious book Zhuan Falun, and understood that the whole book was about cultivation, yet in the past I hadn't seen this at all. I felt so ashamed. I was muddling along in Dafa for so many years, feeling angry about the persecution, and didn't even know what cultivation was. Fellow practitioners have been doing the three things in the face of persecution, but I'd only taken the first step in personal cultivation, so I started to overcome every obstacle faced in order to catch up. I studied the Fa and recited the Fa. The more I studied, the greater I felt our compassionate Master was; the more I recited the Fa, the more profound it became. During that period of time, each line of Zhuan Falun became a headline. I clearly felt layers of layers of inner meaning behind each word that were beyond my comprehension. The Fa is so profound! I was so happy to have returned to Dafa - I was the happiest person in the world!
I had a dream, in which many people were following Master on a street, and I rushed to catch up with them. It started to rain and some people didn't want to follow Master anymore. I could see Master's shoulders were wet from the rain and thought: “If Master doesn't mind the rain, I won't either. I will follow Him no matter how heavy it rains!” Master turned around and spoke a few sentences to me, but I could not understand His words and my mind was blank. Master spoke them again, but I still couldn't understand and got really worried. I woke up, really annoyed with myself. How could I be so muddleheaded?
Later, I shared this with other practitioners and they thought that perhaps I didn't study the Fa enough, which could explain why I couldn't understand Master's words. Yes, it was so true. I had been feeling complacent simply because I'd understood a bit of the Fa principles, but my understanding was so far from the boundless Fa, from Master's requirements! How could I be a worthy Dafa disciple if I couldn't even understand Master's words? The Fa-rectification is pressing forward and there is a real urgency to save people. I realized that cultivation is a serious matter, and my personal cultivation and Fa-rectification cultivation were connected. Sometimes, I get really anxious, but I understand there are no shortcuts in cultivation, and I must study the Fa more, and well.
Breaking through Fear to Clarify the Facts
I studied Master's Fa lectures given in various locations, and now understand where Dafa disciples come from, the vows made so long ago, as well as their responsibilities and historical mission. Of course, it is very important to study the Fa well and cultivate oneself diligently, but if one does not step forward to validate the Fa, how can he/she be a Dafa disciple? People are in such a terrible danger of being eliminated due to being poisoned by the CCP. Some even take a hostile attitude towards Dafa and persecute practitioners, not knowing that they're in grave danger. If we do not clarify the facts to them, isn't it the same as not lifting a finger to save someone in mortal danger?
My husband and I decided to purchase the required equipment to set up a Dafa materials production site in our home. We started from scratch, but learned the skills necessary to operate the site effectively. This process also provided us a good cultivation opportunity to improve together. There were also xinxing tests. We had to eliminate attachments to money, to doing things we liked or wanted to do, as well as attachments of zealotry, showing off and jealousy. The most difficult thing for me was to break through the attachment of fear.
I remember the first time I went to distribute truth-clarification materials. I covered three streets without handing out a single flyer! My legs were stiff and my heart was beating so fast that I was dry in the throat. I thought there were eyes watching me everywhere. I was also scared when I clarified the facts to colleagues at work. My heart rate accelerated whenever I met someone new, and I'd speak incoherently. I always blamed myself afterwards. Due to fear and lack of wisdom, I missed many opportunities to clarify the facts. Later, I thought about it carefully and paid special attention to Master's teachings related to the attachment of fear.
Master said,
“Fear can cause one to make mistakes, and fear can cause one to lose a predestined opportunity. Fear is a death trap on a human being's journey toward divinity.” (from “Pass the Deadly Test”) quote verified
I read Master's words again and again; it felt like He was saying this directly to me. I truly felt Master's expectations, sincere words and earnest wishes. I was determined to eliminate my fear, no matter what. First, I looked within to find the root of my fear. What was I afraid of? I was afraid of losing face, being persecuted, and losing my possessions in everyday society, including my life.
Master said,
“If you can let go of life and death, you're a God; if you can't let go of life and death, you're a human-this is the difference.” (“Teaching the Fa in New York City” from Lectures in the United States) quote verified
Master has also told us that one's primordial spirit never dies. All this has been clearly explained to us. I know that my very life was given by Master, so what can't I let go of? I understand from the Fa principle that the attachment of fear is not part of me, but this terrible thing is hiding behind me, and will jump out at any opportunity to interfere. So for the last few years, I had to bite the bullet to pull through. Each time it came up, whether I was doing Dafa activities to save people or dealing with everyday life or sickness karma, I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate it. In the past, I found it very hard to let go of my attachment to sickness. Whenever I felt a bit uncomfortable, I worried about being sick. Now, this attachment has weakened, and it can no longer obstruct me from moving forward.
I haven't been doing very well in face-to-face truth clarification the last few years, but Master has used every opportunity to show me the miracles of Dafa, encouraging me to strengthen my righteous thoughts and my faith in Him and Dafa.
The first miracle was experienced by a hometown neighbor. She is around 60 years old and had late-stage diabetes. The hospital couldn't do any more for her and sent her home. She vomited everything she'd eaten, and hadn't been able to eat or drink for two weeks. By the time we got to her, we were told that she'd live only a few more days, and everyone felt sorry for her.
The afternoon we arrived, I taught her to say “Zhen Shan Ren is good. Falun Dafa is good.” She had difficulty breathing, so I could only teach her one word at a time, and it took her half an hour to say the words in one sentence. When she was able to do so, she stopped gasping for breath and felt hungry. When we left late that afternoon, this neighbor who could barely walk, walked over 100 meters up the hill to see us off. The villagers witnessed this miracle of Dafa. Three and a half years have passed, and she's getting healthier all the time. This is a beautiful story of how Dafa saves people.
Another incident happened to my next door neighbors, a couple in their 70s and in good health. Their children all live out of town. One night at round 2:00 a.m., I heard urgent knocking at my door. I opened it, and saw my uncle from next door. He looked very worried and spoke incoherently, “Your aunt is dying...” My husband responded quickly and called for an ambulance, then went downstairs to wait for it.
I went to their unit and saw the old lady sitting on the floor, gasping for air. I rushed over and grabbed her cold, wet hands, and said, “Aunty, don't be afraid. Repeat after me: 'Falun Dafa is good. Zhen Shan Ren is good!'” I also asked the uncle to recite with us. She couldn't breathe properly, and could only say one word at a time with great difficulty. Five minutes later, she was able to say the words in one sentence. Ten minutes later when the ambulance came, she was much better. She didn't need anyone to carry her or help her, and walked downstairs to the ambulance herself. She was taken to the hospital for an examination and told that she'd suffered an acute asthma attack; such attacks are very dangerous if not treated in time, and could lead to death within three to five minutes. This elderly couple still recites “Falun Dafa is good” daily.
I am retired now and have more time to do the three things well and involved in more truth-clarification projects. I started texting to clarify the facts quite awhile ago. At first, I had trouble messaging with a cell phone and couldn't send messages from home, so I compiled short messages on the cell phone at home, then went out to send them. I was not very good at first and couldn't use Pinyin (Chinese phonetic system) very well on the cell phone.
Winter was quite cold, and sometimes my hands got stiff. Thought karma popped into my mind a few times: “Aren't you asking for trouble?” When this occurred, I rejected it immediately: “No, I have no trouble!” The feeling of coldness then went away. I used that cell phone for three years and became more and more skillful as time went on. On one occasion, the keys on the phone stopped working, so I started talking to the phone and it went back to normal.
Last year, I passed the phone to a relative (also a fellow practitioner), and she has been using ever since. Now, I'm using a smart phone with multiple functions which has greatly improved my efficiency. I also clarified the facts by letter. I first searched for information on the Internet, then sent relevant letters to clarify the facts and telling them to stop persecuting practitioners.
Now, my relatives and friends have learned the facts about Falun Gong and most quit the CCP and related organizations. Those having an affinity with Dafa have also started practicing cultivation. I'm also becoming steadier and doing better in the Fa-rectification. Although I'm very busy, my life is full and meaningful.
Every day, unless there is something special to handle, I'll take a little satchel with truth-clarification letters, materials, my cell phone and some paper money with facts written on them, then go out to clarify the facts to people. I keep sending righteous thoughts to strengthen my Fa capabilities to fully play their role to quickly save more people. May each one of our truth-clarification materials effectively eliminate the evil and save sentient beings, may the message “Falun Dafa is good, Zhen Shan Ren is good” be passed to all sentient beings with a predestined relationship.
Our great Master helped me develop into a Dafa cultivator on the path towards godhood, originally a selfish person bogged down with karma. Although I still have many human attachments to relinquish, I have learned to look inward and cultivate. I have learned to catch each piece of thought karma, dig out its root and get rid of it, constantly rectifying myself and elevating in Dafa.
