(Minghui.org) I lived through the great famine of China when I was a child, and graduated from elementary school without studying any books during the madness of the Cultural Revolution. I joined the work force when I was sixteen and made eighteen yuan per month. I often worked very long days, from 7 a.m. until 10 p.m. As I gained more seniority at work, I was paid around 20 yuan per month, and later around thirty per month. I was overworked and constantly tired. I often felt dizzy, my body would go into shock, and I would vomit and have diarrhea. The doctor said that I had low blood pressure, anemia, low blood sugar, and gastroenteritis. I constantly caught colds, suffered from headaches, coughs, insomnia, and the medication only provided temporarily relief.
I had problems in my marriage. My husband deceived, abused, and later divorced me. I cried and felt sorry for myself. I thought, “I'm kindhearted, sincere, patient, industrious, and hardworking. Why do I have such a hard life?” I was laid-off from my job and received nothing in return for my years of hard work. My boss was a petty official of a small work unit. He abused his power and took money from the workers, and there was no place to go to appeal for justice. I lamented, “The world is so unfair!”
I Found My Destiny
In order to survive, I worked hard, lived frugally, and saved my earnings to treat my illnesses. I spent my savings at various hospitals, and I almost died from the treatments. My family and neighbors knew that neither western or Chinese medicine doctors were able to cure my illnesses. One day, in the autumn of 1997, I looked up at the sky and cried out in pain, “I beg that heaven send a god to the human world to save us! Good people like me have no way out. What is the purpose of suffering? What is my destiny?” I thought, “If a god-sent doctor can cure my illnesses, I would give him a lifetime of savings for the medical expenses.” I truly wished for the arrival of a god.
Two months later, my relative told me, “The medication hasn't helped you at all. Why don't you try practicing Falun Gong? People say it is very effective in treating illnesses.” I was excited to hear the words “Falun Gong,” and asked where to find it. She replied, “I've heard that they sit in circles. You should find groups of people that sit around in circles.”
After dinner, I was very anxious and walked around the neighborhood looking for Falun Gong. I saw a group of people sitting in a circle along the street. Every one of them had a book in their hand. I thought they probably belonged to the same work unit and I hesitated to approach them. Finally, I worked up my courage and asked the person that was closest to me, “Excuse me, are you practicing Falun Gong?” She said, “Yes.” And I asked for permission to join them. They welcomed me to sit with them. I heard them read and discuss. I liked what I heard and told them I wanted to learn too. They said they were going to find a book for me. It started to rain when the coordinator said they should practice the exercises. He suggested for those who wanted to watch Teacher Li's exercise video, they could go to a particular practitioner's home to learn the exercises.
I followed several practitioners to watch Teacher's exercise video and felt good and happy. It was pouring by the time I finished learning the exercises. The host lent me her umbrella. I thought, “I don't even know this person, and she is so nice to me.” I was very touched by the kindness of the practitioner. The next evening, I brought the umbrella back to the practice site. I thanked them from the bottom of my heart. The coordinator found six Dafa books for me and told me to start with Zhuan Falun. We practiced the exercises after we read the book. My arms felt very heavy and I was sweating profusely, but I persisted and finished the second exercise, which took 30 minutes.
I felt very relaxed after the exercises and slept well that evening. The next morning after breakfast, I washed my hands and opened the book. The book was covered by shades of white fog and I couldn't see any words. I thought it was strange and heard a man's voice, “Don't read the book, and don't believe what it says. Don't believe in any Buddhas, Daos, and gods.” I replied, “I want to read the book, and I want to believe in it, and I hope there are Buddhas, Daos, and gods!” The book was still covered by the white fog. I said, “I'm determined to read the book today. I won't go anywhere and will wait here. I will read the book as soon as I can see the words.”
Four hours later, after I finished lunch, I clearly saw the words in Zhuan Falun . I was very happy and started to read from the beginning. I was struck by its profound principles. I understood the reason why we are here as humans is so that we can return to our true selves. I found answers to why we suffer and why we live in a state of illusion, and I found my destiny. I felt the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance penetrate my soul, cleanse my body, and lift me up. It felt so wonderful!
I was delighted, and a bit afraid. I was afraid that I would float too high and fall. I sat on the floor and continued to read. I gradually felt that my illnesses and the inflammation were gone. Like Teacher mentioned in the book, my body was immediately purified. I jumped up in excitement. Teacher is taking care of me! I'm not sick anymore and I don't need any medications. I was about to cheer, “Long live Teacher Li,” but I stopped myself immediately and realized that Teacher has tremendous mighty powers and could live longer than ten thousand years!
I could not think of any words to express my gratitude; therefore, I vowed that I would be a true cultivator. I was so excited and I shared my experience with my friends and relatives, “I didn't even finish reading Chapter One, and my illnesses were healed. Dafa is miraculous and wonderful. Please come learn the practice and don't waste your life.”
Later in the evening, I shared my experience at the practice site. Practitioners were happy for me. I told them that I made a vow to pay a lifetime of savings for the medical treatments. I asked if anyone was willing to take the money for Teacher. Everyone laughed and said, “You have a predestined relationship with Dafa. Teacher does not want any money from practitioners. You'll learn as you study the Fa.”
The next few days, I read all six books. I understood Teacher has made painstaking efforts to save sentient beings, and does not seek anything in return. Teacher is so compassionate. And what a great Buddha Fa! My 40 years of pain and suffering suddenly disappeared. I gained a new life and was on my path to return to my true self. I felt blessed and had a smile. I often spread the Fa in the area with other practitioners.
The Test
On July 20, 1999, the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began the persecution of Falun Gong, and coordinators and assistants were illegally arrested. Channel 722 broadcast rumors about Falun Gong to deceive people. The government carried out a despicable act, as if the Cultural Revolution had returned.
I went out to urge others to not be deceived by the lies. Police were on the streets and in the parks, making sure no one was practicing the exercises, and they were arresting anyone who did. Police went from door to door and asked people to turn in Dafa books and sign a guarantee letter renouncing the practice. I refused to turn in the books and sign the guarantee letter, and clarified the truth to them.
I said, “The persecution of good people is illegal and wrong. The television broadcast is a lie. Dafa teaches people to cultivate their heart and maintain physical health. This is beneficial to the people and the nation. It does not bother anyone or violate any laws. What you are doing is wrong. I worked very hard my whole life and had many illnesses, and the government didn't care about me. Why does the government want me to renounce the practice after I benefited so much from it? I refuse to acknowledge this nonsense!” The police said it was their duty to follow orders and report to the authorities. I said, “Everyone should think on their own and decide what is right or wrong, and not make the same mistakes as people did during the Cultural Revolution.”
I shared with other practitioners, “Teacher said, 'Isn’t any form of pressure a test to see whether your faith in the Buddha Fa is fundamentally strong?' (For Whom do You Practice Cultivation? - Essentials For Further Advancement) and 'If we change the situation in human society and reverse the general climate, then let’s see who still says that Dafa is good and who changes his mind. This way, won’t everything suddenly become crystal clear?' (Huge Exposure - Essentials For Further Advancement) ” Teacher has already explained the Fa principles, and it is up to us to become enlightened to them. I felt sorry for those who gave up the practice because of fear.
Being Steadfast
I was arrested several times after July 20. The police said they had to fill the quota as required by their duty. During the Chinese New Year of 2001, they arrested a large number of practitioners who didn't sign the guarantee letter. We were sent to the brainwashing center to be tortured, beaten, and were forced to listen to broadcasts that slander Dafa. We spent the Chinese New Year drinking cold water in freezing cold weather.
After the Chinese New Year, the television broadcasted the “self-immolation incident.” We noticed a series of gaps in the film. The thugs hired by the police to beat us said, “You would have burned yourself if the police hadn't arrested you,” and ordered us to renounce the practice. I reasoned, “They already knew about the self-immolation incident before it even happened, therefore, the police arrested us and made us wait here.” I continued, “It is the authorities that set up the self-immolation incident to slander Falun Gong. They are destroying lives. These self-immolators are not Falun Gong practitioners. This was a set up and the real criminals should be exposed!”
Once their threatening attitude subsided, they began to listen to us and discuss the authenticity of the broadcast. We took the opportunity to tell them the facts about Falun Dafa. Under our righteous field, the thugs, police, and several hundred other officials learned about the facts of the “self-immolation incident.” Many policemen lamented, “Jiang Zemin is behind all this. Please don't blame us for it as we need to keep our jobs.” I ran into some of them on the street afterwards. They were happy to see me and called me “Falun Gong.” I was glad they understood the truth.
I was arrested again in 2002 and sent to the Nanmusi Women's Forced Labor Camp in Sichuan Province for two years. We were brutally tortured and humiliated by the guards and drug offenders, led by team head Zhang Xiaofang. Innocent practitioners were tortured every day with beatings, handcuffed with our arms behind our back, hung up while handcuffed, tortured on the tiger bench, tied up with rope and tape, splashed with cold water in the winter, exposed to the sun in the summer, forced to stand for long hours for several days until our legs were swollen, forced to sit on small plastic stools for long hours, which made our buttocks develop sores. We were not allowed to go to the restroom, were deprived of sleep, were not allowed to brush our teeth or wash our face, and so on. The practitioners were forced to work day and night to earn money for the guards. Those who went on hunger strikes were force fed, and those who were not on hunger strikes were not allowed to eat.
One day Zhang Xiaofang asked me, “Do you still believe in Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance?” I nodded and didn't say a word. She immediately kicked and beat me. When she was tired of beating me, she ordered a group of drug offenders to drag me into a cell and continue the beatings. I was covered with bruises and scars, and continued to do heavy work and was not allowed to eat. For more than 20 days, I ate less than 250 grams of rice, and was not allowed to drink or use the bathroom. I was allowed to sleep once a week, and each time I could only sleep one to three hours. I was beaten every day and continued to work. I was in pain, tired, sleepy, hungry, thirsty, and my throat was sore from the dryness. The guards would pinch my face and say, “We are going to take a piece of your flesh and cook it.” I had sores and scabs on my face from being pinched. One day Zhang Xiaofang, sitting in her office, said, “Today we are going to eat the monk's flesh. Should we boil it or steam it? Haha...” And the guards laughed uncontrollably as well.
After torturing me for more than twenty days, Zhang Xiaofang said, “Why are you still up? If you collapse we will send you to the emergency room. Do you hate me for mistreating you?” I shook my head, because I was grateful that Teacher was protecting me. Zhang Xiaofang later told everyone, “I'm not afraid of what you all said, that I will receive retribution. My father has cancer, my blood pressure is high, and I have heart disease now...”
It is My Responsibility and Obligation to Save Sentient Beings
After I was released, I continuously talked to people about how I was persecuted, and was exposed to the brutal treatment at the forced labor camp. I showed them my scars as evidence. I visited numerous government officials, clarified the truth, told them about the persecution, and how I almost died from the torture. An official said sympathetically, “Had you given up the practice, you wouldn't have been tortured so brutally.” I replied, “Cultivation in the Buddha Fa is the essence of a human life. When someone does not follow the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, this person will lose his true self. Mankind should know and follow these heavenly principles. It is the CCP's atheist theory that has ruined the Chinese people.”
The Political and Legal Committee conducted a meeting and said that I was too stubborn and fearless. They said that if they caught me again, I would not be allowed to come out alive. Practitioners worried about me and suggested that I hide somewhere far away to avoid being arrested. I became destitute and homeless, and the police looked for me everywhere. I felt sorry for these lost souls.
I have continued to do the three things with practitioners at my current location. Clarifying the truth and saving sentient beings are my responsibilities and duties. I will live up to Teacher's expectations.
My cultivation path has become broader and broader. I'd like to share a poem with everyone:
I'm a particle of the Fa
I will go wherever my destiny takes me
Doing the three things on the path of returning to my true self
Thanking Teacher for my consummation
Please kindly correct me if there is anything inappropriate.
