(Minghui.org) The ability to look inward is something that requires solid cultivation. It is easier to say than do. Although I've been working on it, I'm still not very good at it.
I know that I should look within and cultivate myself. However, whenever I encountered something, I was so used to looking for other people's faults that I could not cultivate myself. Even though I did look within a little, it was only on the surface. What I encountered recently is an example.
Some practitioners have been learning to do a new project and they needed to know how to use certain software. I'd learned how to use it from another practitioner and started to teach those who would like to learn. Normally, I asked them to write down the instructions step by step so that they could refer to it later to practice until they were able to master it.
One day, a practitioner who was very well educated also came to learn how to use the software. She stopped after she jotted down two steps. I asked, “Why don't you write it down? You cannot use it if you miss one single step.” She agreed to continue writing steps down. There was one step in which one needed to click the “desktop” button in the prompt window. I emphasized that we should click the button labeled “desktop” instead of the desktop on the computer. I saw that she was a little unhappy, so I explained that I used to make mistakes on that point. She replied, “I'm not that careless.” When we were about to study another software, she asked, “Do I still have to write the instructions down?” I was a little upset. “If you think you can remember you don't have to. But you do need to write it down if you think you won't remember it.”
After we went over the instructions, I asked her to practice. She started to ask me about the first step. I told her not to ask, but to follow the instructions she wrote down, and she should only ask when she was stuck. I explained that when she got home, she would have no one to ask. She became stuck after two steps. I looked at her computer and said, “That's exactly where I asked you why you weren't writing the instructions down. See, you won't be able to continue if you miss one step.” When we were on another step, I asked her to delete two options and keep the first one. However, she forgot to delete them, which stopped her from being able to move on to the next step.
I became upset and raised my voice. Later on, she accidentally deleted part of the option that should have been saved. Then she asked me what to do to fix it. I shouted, “What to do? Start from the beginning!” She replied angrily, “Is this the way all technicians teach people?”
Hearing her words, I realized that what I said was not based on the Fa. I immediately looked inward and apologized to her. “Sorry, I was too impatient. I was not assimilated to 'compassion' at all. My family and fellow practitioners all say that I'm impatient, thus I've been paying attention and trying to deal with it. But when I suddenly encounter something like this, I completely forget to control myself. What has formed in my mind for hundreds of years is hard to remove. Today you are helping me to improve.”
As I looked within, she calmed down as well. She said, “I should not have been affected by you. Two other technician practitioners are like this as well. They aren't very patient. I only know one technician who's very patient. Usually, they write down the instructions for me and I just follow what they've written to learn step by step. They took me to do some hands-on work as well.”
I did not say anything but was complaining in my heart. “Aren't you able to write? Why would you ask others to write things down for you? If you'd written it down yourself, you would have remembered it. You are relying on others too much and you are lazy.”
After the training session, I told her that she was helping me improve. But I felt that there was something within myself that I had not let go. Master said, “When your mind cannot get over something, isn’t it caused by your attachment?” (“Further Elimination of Attachments” in Essentials for Further Advancement)
I calmed down and tried to figure out what attachment of mine caused the problem. It seemed like I was looking within. I was impatient and not kind. However, that was only the surface manifestation. I did not identify the attachment from the root, and I realized I needed to dig further.
1. Not cultivating myself but others
Master said, “In true cultivation you have to cultivate your mind, you have to cultivate inward, to look inward—you can’t look outward.” (The Ninth Talk, Zhuan Falun, 2003 translation version)
During this encounter, what I said and did was looking outward. I complained that others relied on me too much and they were lazy. I was not considerate or tolerant. Fellow practitioners are like a mirror from which you can see your attachments. Maybe I was also relying on others and too lazy to learn. Why can't I be patient and careful when teaching others like other practitioners are? The attachments I saw in fellow practitioners affected me because I had those attachments as well. Why didn't I treasure this opportunity to cultivate myself? Whenever I encountered a conflict, I complained that others were doing something wrong. I was only trying to change others, but not myself. How could this be called cultivation practice? Master said,
“You have grown used to focusing on other people's shortcomings, and never take examining your own self seriously. When others' cultivation one day meets with success, what about you?” (“Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles”)
Moreover, when I was complaining, I was throwing some bad substance onto fellow practitioners' fields. I was not compassionate. As practitioners, we should be considerate and tolerant when dealing with practitioners who are experiencing different cultivation states. Master said,
“Having you expose your weaknesses during frictions with each other is how I enable you to improve most rapidly. And yet as soon as you encounter a problem, you push it aside and point out others’ shortcomings instead of examining yourselves. How can you cultivate, then? This is precisely the best way for me to have you improve. So you must turn your mindset around.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Singapore” 1998)
Master clearly told us the principles, but I haven't cultivated myself well. I should learn from these lessons and turn my mind around by studying the Fa well so that I can truly look inward and cultivate myself.
2. The attachment of being impatient, showing off and looking down upon others
When I was explaining to the fellow practitioner about “desktop”, why was she unhappy? I think it was because the way I explained it was not good. I was proud of my skills and thus looked down on her. With so many attachments in myself, she was not able to accept it.
When she was not able to delete one of the options, I became impatient again. I raised my voice and spoke faster. I had a thought in my mind, “She has been using computers for years and earned a degree. Why doesn't she know how to delete something?” Then I became impatient. In fact, that was a type of jealousy. I looked down upon her. I was also showing off my skills. Those attachments were exposed in the way I was explaining things. How was she able to take it? How could she be happy?
Therefore, the way I treated her did not help her, but instead enhanced my attachments. How could I improve my character? True practitioners should be compassionate instead of being too attached to their own way and thinking: that “I'm always right.” So I must look within as soon as possible and eliminate those things.
3. Competitiveness
When she asked me whether she needed to take notes, I said, “If you think you can remember you don't have to. But you do need to write it down if you think you won't remember it.” In fact, this was a display of my competitiveness. We grew up in the wicked Party Culture which emphasized competition. So we might get into some conflicts when doing things together instead of cooperating with each other and forming a whole body. Acting this way was harming us and not to save sentient beings. So we should get rid of it from the root.
4. Complaining
When she was stuck in the process, I said, “That is exactly the point where I asked you why you weren't writing it down. See, you cannot continue if you miss one step.” I was complaining. I also told her when she started to ask me at the beginning that she would have no one to ask when she got home. I was blaming her. When she deleted something she should not have deleted, I said that now we had to start from the beginning. I was also complaining.
Complaining is looking outward and blaming others. This is not being compassionate or respectful of others. We may also hurt others and create gaps among practitioners. The old forces often take advantages of these gaps to bring us trouble. Master said,
“Improvement for a cultivator definitely doesn't result from finger pointing, nor does it result from my criticism of you as your Master or from your pointing fingers at or criticizing each other. It comes from you cultivating yourself.” (“Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles” 2006)
We should stop complaining once we realize that point.
“Looking inward” is a magic tool Master gave us. How do we actually look inward and cultivate ourselves? I think we should turn our minds around from the root. We should change the way we usually look at things, which is to look outward. We are so used to looking for and finding other people's faults. Now we should look for the good parts of fellow practitioners. To let go of ourselves and solidly cultivate ourselves is the key to practicing cultivation. Only in that way can we improve. We should use the magic tool at any time to get rid of our human attachments and change ourselves so that we can assimilate to Dafa and return home with Master.
Please point out anything inappropriate.
Category: Improving Oneself
