(Minghui.org) Mei Man was once unhappily married. She stopped getting together with her girlfriends after she got married because she was overwhelmed with her responsibilities as a wife, mother and daughter-in-law. Once, after a reunion with a girlfriend, she broke down in tears. “I want my freedom! I have become a prisoner in this marriage! I am divorcing my husband as soon as my kids grow up! I will become financially independent and get my life back!”
Today, Mei Man is happy and content. What changed? She did not get divorced; she is a practitioner of Falun Gong.
Mei Man and her children before she started practicing Falun Gong
Mei Man and her husband after she started practicing Falun Gong
A marriage bound by responsibilities and no affection
Born to an affluent family in Yunlin, Taiwan, Mei Man was well provided for and received a lot of affection from her parents and older siblings. After she finished middle school, Mei Man went to a vocational high school. She pursued a short-term college degree after working for five years. Then she met her husband and got married.
But married life did not turn out how she imagined it would be.
Mei Man had grown up spending a lot of quality time with her family. They gave her a lot of personal freedom and respect and these things were very important to her. Once she was married, she lived with her in-laws, her husband's grandmother and her husband's younger brother. Her in-laws owned a hair salon and were very busy running the business. After her first daughter was born, Mei Man quit her job and became a stay-at-home mother.
She never had to worry about money while living with her parents, but after she was married Mei Man was very conscious about spending because her family relied on the single income of her husband.
When she got married she had never cooked a day in her life, but her married responsibilities included cooking for the entire extended family.
“I was preparing meals practically all day long. My husband's 80-something-year-old grandmother required a special diet. She would get hungry at irregular hours, so I had to cook whenever she was hungry.”
Mei Man developed severe dermatitis in her hands, but she was still required to do all of the housework.
The way she was treated by her husband's family grieved her . Following Taiwanese tradition, the in-laws saw her responsibilities as raising the children and doing all the housework. In other words, her sacrifice and contribution to the family was taken for granted. She was usually forgotten and did not have any voice or say. They treated her with distant civility, but never gave her any affection or words of comfort. She felt like a second-class citizen although she was married to the oldest son in the family.
According to Mei Man, what tormented her the most was that she did not have any real communication with her husband. They had very different values about life. Her husband enjoyed eating and watching TV after work and did not interact with her much. Growing up in a family that had a lot of family time together, Mei Man's impression of their relationship was they did not have any family time at all. She began to suffer from insomnia that prescription drugs were unable to manage.
Mei Man finally succumbed to her fate and decided to focus her attention on her children, the only source of joy and affection.
As Mei Man felt increasingly lonely in her marriage, her health deteriorated. She suffered from allergic rhinitis, gastroenteritis, dermatitis of the hands and severe insomnia. The insomnia troubled her the most, because it made her disinterested in being active during the day.
Mei Man was exhausted from looking after her children, who both needed frequent medical attention. Her daughter caught colds easily and her son was born frail and had night sweats. She frequently got up during the night to change his clothes. Between the endless responsibilities of caring for her children and the endless obligations to her in-laws, Mei Man was spent.
“I had no joy in life,” Mei Man recalled.
Finally, she decided that she had lived long enough with her husband's family. With the help of her parents, Mei Man and her husband bought a new home and moved out after her husband's grandmother passed away. She thought she would be happy when she had her own space, but she started to have temper tantrums. It was as though she had finally found the personal freedom to vent her grief and anger after so many years of suffering in silence. She tried not to lose her temper, but she found herself having temper tantrums often. The atmosphere at home became very tense.
Falun Gong saved my marriage
Mei Man's husband found a Falun Gong flyer at a store and brought it home in July 2002. Mei Man read the flyer and searched online for the Falun Gong website. She really liked what she read about Falun Gong, so she went to a group practice site the next morning and watched practitioners doing the Falun Gong exercises. She felt tranquil just watching them. That day she went to a bookstore and bought a copy of Zhuan Falun , the main text of Falun Gong. She was very impressed after reading only a few pages.
“This book enriched my life,” Mei Man said. “It is far more profound than all the books I have read about religion and personal-growth over the past 20 some years. I was completely captivated. I would begin reading as soon as I finished cooking dinner in the evening. It took me only three days to finish the book the first time. I was filled with joy and hope. Over the summer vacation at my parent's house, I thought about whether I should start practicing Falun Gong. As soon as I returned to Taipei, I started practicing and studying the rest of the Falun Gong teachings. I had originally joined the morning group practice so that I would develop a good habit of getting up early in the morning, but I gained a lot more than this.”
In less than a week, the dermatitis on Mei Man's hands was gone and the insomnia disappeared. She slept well at night and felt energetic during the day. Her complexion, appetite, and allergic rhinitis also improved.
“I am astonished! It was a miracle!” Mei Man said.
More importantly, Mei Man's temper improved significantly as she studied the teachings of Falun Gong more. She was once burdened with constant worry for her children's health, but their health improved once she let go of her attachments.
Falun Gong helped me through a family crisis
Sometimes Mei Man's children would study the Falun Gong books with her. She believed that her children were good kids because of the positive influence of Falun Gong's teachings. Her daughter does not catch as many colds as she use to.
Her son was only seven when Mei Man started practicing. One day he practiced the sitting meditation with Mei Man. He started vomiting shortly after beginning the sitting meditation, but has never had another night sweat since that day. He is now a junior in high school and very healthy.
Mei Man's husband was diagnosed with colon cancer two years ago. She said, “Fortunately I am a cultivator. I was very calm and was able to provide for my family through the difficult times.”
Her husband did not practice Falun Gong, but he had three successful major surgeries with Mei Man standing by him and supporting him.
“If it had not been for the practice of Falun Gong, I would not have known what to do. My husband provides for the entire family. I would have been a total wreck knowing we would lose our income while he received medical treatment. I might have collapsed and that would have been detrimental to our family. But I practice Falun Gong and follow its principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I know how to conduct myself well even during a family crisis.”
Mei Man contacted her husband's family on his behalf and was honest when she told them his prognosis.
Then she contacted his workplace. “We will be perfectly fine should you need to find someone to replace my husband,” she told his boss.
Mei Man never imagined that his boss had already made a special arrangement that allowed her husband to work from home on the same salary. Combined with a work bonus, during his illness and recovery, her husband received the highest income he had ever received.
Mei Man was as solid as a rock while her husband was being treated. She told him to often say, “Falun Gong is good” and “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good,” as a way to relax and become calm during his ordeal. He had not been interested in Falun Gong in the past, but he started practicing in 2012 after he witnessed how Mei Man had conducted herself during his treatment. They are happier and closer as a couple because of Falun Gong.
Mei Man has learned from the teachings of Falun Gong that everything happens for a reason. She no longer gets upset over how she is treated.
“I search inside myself for any attachments. It is the foundation of cultivation. I strive to be a good person and do not dwell on the behavior of others. I feel free. I feel happy. It is all because I let go of my attachments and have become a more tolerant person.”
Thanks to Falun Gong, Mei Man can finally say she is a happily married woman.
