(Minghui.org)
Sickness Karma
I lost my breath several times and felt like I was on the verge of death. The symptoms of asthma had returned.
I recalled Master's words in “Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles,”
“In such cases there are only two choices: You either go to the hospital and thus give up on trying to overcome the test, or you completely let go of everything, behave like an upstanding and noble Dafa disciple who has no resentment or attachments, and leave it to Master to arrange whether you stay or go. When you are able to do that, you are a god.”
Seeing my critical condition, my children started crying, and my wife and relatives wanted to take me to hospital. But I was not disturbed. From the teachings I understood that illness is caused by karma. Plus, I had been healthy and energetic since taking up the practice. I understood that my tribulation was occurring because the old forces were taking advantage of my loopholes, since I had not been practicing diligently.
I told my family members about my understanding of the issue, and that I would resolve it by continual Fa-study and more solid cultivation practice.
Cultivating Solidly by Looking Within
I coughed a lot for many days while I was eliminating karma. I suffered from so many symptoms that it seemed I was stuck in a life-threatening condition. However, I was clear that only cultivation could fundamentally resolve my problem.
I listened to Master’s audio lectures, since I was unable to read with my breathing difficulties. Nonetheless, I was in a great deal of pain. I was unable to lean to the side or lie down flat. I could only sit up in bed.
Through listening to the Fa, I gained a better understanding of cultivation practice. With this improvement, I was also able to sleep for a little while every day. I knew Master was taking care of me the entire time. I was very grateful to him for helping me eliminate karma and overcome the tribulation.
I also looked within and found many attachments, including zealotry, showing-off, struggling, jealousy, fame, and pursuing supernormal abilities. In addition, I also found some attachments that had been deeply buried, like complacency, lust, and various attachments to comfort.
After identifying these attachments and letting them go, the illness symptoms simply vanished.
The Issue of Lust
Looking back, I realize that lust might have been a major hurdle that allowed the tribulation to exist. There were several occasions when it surfaced.
I ran into an old girlfriend one day and I told her and her family about Falun Gong. Her family of four all agreed to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations. Although I did not have any physical contact with her in this process, I did say some irresponsible things to her as we recalled the days when we were together long ago.
Another time, I was sharing cultivation experiences with practitioner B, and her voice sounded very familiar and sweet. As I was meditating later that day, I realized that we may have encountered each other in a previous life and developed an intimate relationship then. Thus, some fondness for her began to arise in my mind.
Master wrote in Zhuan Falun,
“We have said that good or evil comes from a person’s spontaneous thought, and the thought at that moment can bring about different consequences.”
I believe that the old forces took advantage and created the illness tribulation for me because of my attachment to lust and my improper words. Many other practitioners have also stumbled in this regard. As a result, they've been arrested, imprisoned, and some have even lost their lives.
Eliminating Lust
After reading some sharing articles on the Minghui website, I came to a better understanding on this topic. Lust is not limited to physical misconduct between a man and a woman. Rather, any improper thoughts of this kind can lead to loopholes that may result in disastrous consequences.
For example, when a man and a woman get along well with each other, and find that they have many things in common, they may like to study the Fa together, share ideas, or work together on truth-clarification projects. If this mentality continues to strengthen, it can easily develop into qing, and such affection can easily evolve into lust or other serious problems.
Master taught us in “Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles,”
“What do the old forces and the old cosmos see as the gravest thing? Lust, [in the form of] sexual activity outside of marriage. That's what they see as the most serious of things.”
Practitioners should therefore pay special attention to this and avoid anything related to lust or sexual activity. This includes our thoughts, words, and actions in daily life as well as work. We should discipline ourselves as practitioners—not everyday people.
