(Minghui.org) Master said,
“The Fa is merciful to all beings, but at the same time it's solemn and dignified.” (“Fa-Lecture During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference”)
I told my husband in May 2011, “We have not studied the Fa together for 18 months, and I have not seen you study the Fa at home. Are you reading the Falun Dafa books at the store?” He replied, “No.” My heart sank and I sensed something was wrong. I suggested that we ask another practitioner to come to our house to study the Fa as a group, but my husband rejected the idea.
Sickness Karma as a Sign of Misstep
My husband came down with severe abdominal pain, chills and fever on June 3, 2011, and was delirious. The situation turned critical. I sent forth righteous thoughts and asked Master to help. I asked him if he wanted to go to the hospital, but he refused. The situation worsened within a few days. Not only was he in extreme pain, but his skin and the whites of his eyes had become jaundiced. He suffered excruciating pain for hours and even an entire day.
A thought crossed my mind after remembering that my deceased brother-in-law died after displaying the same symptoms, “He must have done something so bad that his deceased brother-in-law could not forgive.”
I asked a practitioner to study the Fa with me and send forth righteous thoughts for him. His condition continued to deteriorate.
He had a dream that evening. In the dream, he saw someone who wanted him to die. There were two groups of people having an intense debate about whether he should be dead or alive. The group that wanted him to die said that he had been away from the family for far too long. My husband desperately explained that he wanted to stay with the family. They finally decided that he could stay. He lay on the floor when two people passed him. One of them pointed at my husband and said, “He is responsible for the remaining debt.” My husband told me about the dream after he woke up and said that Master had saved his life. I felt more at ease after hearing that.
His condition continued to remain the same. He was in so much pain one day that he thought he was going to die. There was no one around, and he was very afraid. He kept repeating, “I should not be afraid since Master is with me.”
I could not figure out why my husband's health didn't improve. I recalled that he rarely practiced the exercises and hadn't studied the Fa for more than a year. I thought of his dream and asked him why he had departed from the Fa for such a long time. He was speechless.
He realized that if he didn't change, he would lose his life. He finally told me that several women were fond of him. What he said was unexpected, but somehow I was not surprised by it. I questioned him further, and he admitted he had been in an improper relationship with a woman for a long time. They were business partners and had opened a store together. They saw each other every day.
He expressed regret. The next day, his symptoms disappeared and he was no longer in pain. He began doing the exercises with me and regained his health. When he studied the Fa, he held the book and knelt down to pay his respects to Master. I burst into tears when I saw that.
My husband told me a practitioner visited him the day after he fell ill. He heard the practitioner say, “Those who have improper relationships with the opposite sex should admit to it.” But the practitioner said she never uttered those words. I think Master was giving him a hint, telling him to come clean.
Learning to Tolerate Humiliation
My husband and I began cultivating in Dafa in late 1997, and our family endured many tribulations after the persecution began in 1999. My husband was arrested for clarifying the truth about Falun Dafa in late 2001, and detained for nine months. I went to Beijing to appeal for justice for Falun Dafa, and was arrested and detained for three months. Because I refused to write defamatory statements about Master and Dafa, I lost my civil service job.
I suffered deeply after I found out about my husband's indiscretion. I could not tolerate the humiliation. I was uneasy and thought, “I was busy taking care of the house and raising our child while my husband was having an affair.”
I was restless and cried often, thinking, “Master, why am I encountering this kind of heartrending hardship?” Then I remembered Master's lecture,
“Soon after he takes care of that matter and comes back home, just as he is sitting down, a phone call will come, telling him: 'Your spouse is having an affair with someone.'” Zhuan Falun)
It had never occurred to me that my husband would have an affair. Therefore, when I could not maintain my xinxing, I offended him, was inconsiderate, and was disrespectful towards him.
My mind was troubled, and I wondered, “How can I pass this test?” Then I thought, “I'm a Falun Dafa disciple and should follow Master's teachings. I've waited millions of years to be here today. If Master didn't give him another chance, would he go to hell or heaven? I can only imagine the consequences. Master treasures him and does not want to give up on him. Therefore, I should help him and not push him down. I shouldn't take my humiliation and feelings as a priority, but treat him compassionately.”
I rejected my human notions whenever they surfaced. I thought, “My humiliation and hurt feelings amount to nothing. It must have saddened Master when my husband brought shame upon Falun Dafa. Master has forgiven him, so why should I feel so upset?”
I continued to reject and let go of these human notions, and gradually overcame the tribulation. Had I not cultivated in Dafa, I would have fought tooth and nail, hurt others and myself, and destroyed my family.
It took me a year to let go of the hurt in my heart. I can now talk about his indiscretion calmly, just as if I was talking about someone else. I don't feel emotional or hold any hatred in my heart. I marvel at Master's arrangements, and firmly believe in Dafa.
Benevolent Master! I cannot find words to describe my gratitude, and I don't know how to repay you!
I'm thankful that my husband admitted to his indiscretion, I was able let go of my resulting distress. I now believe in Master and the Fa even more. No matter what problem I have to face or how difficult things get, I'm convinced that everything happens for a cause. I will no longer be confused by anything superficial.
What goes around comes around. If a practitioner commits wrongdoing, he will receive retribution--the old forces will not let him get away with it, and might even kill him. If it weren't for Master's protection, he probably wouldn't even be alive!
Cultivation Is Serious
My sister-in-law had a severe headache for a month in July 2010. I visited her and said, “Over the years, you have taken care of mom and dad during the Chinese New Year and major holidays. Did you burn incense to pay respect to Master?” She said she hadn't. She also had never asked for Master's new lectures or the Minghui Weekly publication. But she promised, “After I feel better I would like to do the three things more often and get more truth clarification materials.”
She felt well a month later. When I saw her in November, she looked energetic and healthy, but she didn't ask for any truth clarification materials. In late April 2011, someone found her dead on the floor.
My sister-in-law began practicing in 1998. Prior to that, she had mid-to-late stage colorectal cancer. The doctor said she only had three years to live, but she lived for 13 years.
Cultivation is serious. Life prolonged as a result of cultivation is not meant to be spent living an everyday person's life. When I cleaned out her belongings, I noticed that her Falun Dafa books were among other messy things. Furthermore, she had not distributed the Shen Yun DVDs and other Falun Dafa truth clarification materials I had given her.
I was told that in order to inherit a house from her brother-in-law who had passed away, she almost damaged her relationship with her sister over the price of the house. Although she finally got the house, she died a few months later. Shortly after she passed away, her husband remarried. Her daughter dreamed of her later. She said about the dream, “I didn't do well enough. Otherwise I could have lived another three years.”
My aunt is a practitioner. She has been sick for several years. Two years ago her vision became blurry, and she is now practically blind. Last year, her body swelled up, and now she can't sleep lying down. Her immediate family thinks that she is a selfish and inconsiderate person who places great importance on money.
She went to Beijing twice to appeal for justice for Falun Dafa and was sentenced to a three-year prison term, and three years in a forced labor camp. She has not cultivated diligently and it is quite obvious. She does not seem to be aware of the problem, and her behavior has caused a negative impact on Falun Dafa.
Lessons Learned from Cultivation Experiences
I don't mean to accuse or criticize anyone. Nothing is easy on our cultivation paths. I have done some things poorly too. I only want to share what I've seen, and hope to provide a positive point of reference.
All of what I have observed are lessons and warnings for myself, to help me walk my path well and cultivate diligently. If I can't break away from attachments, then how can I save sentient beings?
Perhaps the things that I've seen are not what I think they are, but I know that cause and effect exists. As long as we believe in Master and the Fa, and follow Master's teachings, we can walk well our cultivation paths and not become lost and confused!
