(Minghui.org) I have been impatient and easily irritated since I was young. I did tasks quickly and often made a mess of things. My hot-headed disposition caused a lot of difficulties when I started to practice Falun Gong and interfered with my saving my family members. My husband has even committed wrongdoings against Dafa.
Since my friends were used to my fast-paced nature, they were of no help in pointing out my shortcomings. Some of them even bragged about how vigorously and quickly I accomplished tasks.
A fellow practitioner saw my shortcomings and said to me recently, “You will handle matters more effectively and people will be more moved when you clarify the facts if you talk slower.” I agreed with what she said and told her that I would work hard to get rid of these attachments right away. She smiled at me and didn't say anything.
Three days later my anger flared up. I immediately noticed it and said to myself: “Don't get irritated or fly off the handle. Remember that you are a practitioner. Go slowly and handle it carefully.” But I was reckless and made a mess of things. Afterward, I realized this was a test to improve my temper, but I didn't pass it. I was really unhappy. No wonder my fellow practitioner smiled at me the other day. She knows that it is hard to change one's character.
A practitioner's compassion
I later met the practitioner who had pointed out my shortcomings. With great remorse I told her that I had failed this test. Contrary to what I expected, she comforted me, saying, “Don't worry, being aware of your attachments is good. You will gradually improve.” I said I would definitely do better next time. She just smiled again. I told her that I found my deeply buried attachments, and said: “I'm too attached to self and my forbearance is weak. This manifests on the surface as impatience and irritability. I realize that when I see people do things incorrectly, it helps me to cultivate and tests my ability to endure. If everybody always did things correctly and their moral standard was higher than mine, what would be left for me to endure?” She didn't just smile this time, but agreed with what I said. She told me that other practitioners said that I was a lot more patient than before.
I knew that time was pressing and I needed to let go of these attachments, as there wouldn't be too many more opportunities to improve.
Master said:
“I hope you walk the final leg of the journey well. There really isn’t much time left. It could end at any time, and the next phase could begin at any time.” (Fa Teaching at the 2013 Greater New York Fa Conference (Questions and Answers))
Changing my disposition
My husband suddenly asked me about the financial support my brothers and sisters were contributing towards my mother's upkeep. I had to answer because my mom was there. I was in a tight spot, because I couldn't answer according the real situation, yet I couldn't lie either. I surprised myself with my response.
I patiently waited for my husband to finish talking and calmly said: “Before didn't I provide the sole support and they didn't give anything? Isn't it better now as they contribute some? I'm content that they are able to do this much. Mom is getting better and doesn't require much help now. All you think about is money. You collect it penny by penny and then lose it a bunch at a time. Where is your money?” I didn't expect my last few words to hit such a sensitive spot, as he quickly left.
This was the first time that I was able to calmly handle a difficult situation and not get flustered and mess it up. I experienced the sense of relaxing and being calm. Thank you Master! Thanks to the practitioner who pointed out my shortcomings!
Fellow practitioners please point out anything inappropriate.
Category: Improving Oneself
