(Minghui.org) I started practicing Falun Dafa in 1998 at age 14. Although my cultivation journey has been bumpy, under Master's mercy, I haven't been left behind.
I recall that I seemed to naturally obtain the Fa when I was little. My mind was always calm and peaceful. I was not very sensitive to anything, and I didn't have any experiences of seeing other dimensions. In the past I didn't have special feelings after practicing the Falun Dafa exercises. However, Dafa has been deeply rooted in my mind.
Now I know that I am very fortunate to have obtained the Fa, and my responsibility is to save sentient beings. Everyone has their own path of cultivation. The reason my cultivation journey has been so smooth is because of Master's care.
Master endures so much for sentient beings; it is beyond our imagination. However, every time I saw Master, he was always smiling. Each time I saw Master's smile, I felt happy. Now I always think about saving more beings.
At the beginning, I felt very sad that I couldn't tell people the truth about Dafa when they passed by me. For quite a while, I was afraid of seeing strangers. I didn't like to step out of my door because I felt bad about being afraid to clarify the truth to people. Later, as things got worse, I gave up studying the Fa. I just wanted to have an easy life. After a while, I felt empty. So I still wanted to study the Fa.
After I shared this with other practitioners, I understood this was interference from the old forces, which will use any means to make me give up my cultivation. I cried after sharing. The other practitioners encouraged me to try my best to clarify the truth.
Because I was afraid to talk to people face to face, I instead went out to distribute materials in the evening. However, I still encountered interference. When I started practicing, it was because my mom started practicing; I followed her. After the persecution started, my mom rarely studied the Fa, and I was very worried about her. After studying the Fa, I understood that only when I do better, will the environment change.
I wasn't worried about my mom anymore. Instead I focused on cultivating myself well and being more diligent; then my mom would study with me. One day I asked my mom if she would like to go out to distribute truth-clarification materials. She said she would. I was very happy and waited for her to go out. However, after dinner she went to bed and said she didn't want to go anymore.
I was disturbed when she said that, but I immediately enlightened that it was the old forces' interference. It wasn't my mom that didn't want to go, it was the old forces controlling her to say she didn't want to go. I thought, “Whether she goes or not, I must go.” So I carried a bag of materials and went out.
I never forced my mom to distribute materials with me; I believed Master was taking care of her. Sometimes I walked more than 5 kilometers to distribute materials and put up truth-clarification materials. Sometimes I rode an electric bike to distribute materials in the countryside, which was about 15 kilometers away from my home.
I gradually walked my own path of cultivation, and I became more mature.
I knew that only when I did well could my mom return to cultivation. Now my mom has returned to cultivation, and we clarify the truth together.
Later I worked with other practitioners to print truth-clarification materials. They also taught me how to install software to access the Minghui website. I managed to get rid of many of my human attachments during the process. I was used to doing things on my own, as I rarely had contact with other practitioners. So I felt that the Fa teaching about coordinating well was just meant for overseas practitioners.
After I was in contact with other practitioners, I understood that practitioners are on different levels, so we have different views on issues. Each practitioner also has different notions that were formed after they were born, which need to be eliminated.
Through studying the Fa, I could judge what I should do according to the Fa when facing conflict among practitioners. I understood that when an argument occurs, it is the process of improving xinxing and is the process of whether or not to have righteous thought and follow the requirements of the Fa.
I always quietly harmonized the things I did rather than talk with others about it. I would focus on practitioners' good sides when I faced conflicts.
We had six or seven local practitioners, but their cultivation status wasn't very good. Only one elderly practitioner was very diligent; this practitioner helped me return to cultivation. She also helped me make contact with other practitioners who live in the city. Later she was twice illegally detained in brainwashing centers. After she got out, she went to live in another city and didn't return. Then I took on the responsibility and set up a Fa study group.
At the beginning there were only three of us in the Fa study group. The other two in the group were female practitioners in their 50s. They were busy at work during the day, so I took the lead for the Fa study in the evening. They were happy to use one of their homes for Fa study. I just went wherever they decided for Fa study.
When I set up the Fa study group, I read an experience-sharing article in Minghui Weekly. It was about a practitioner who always talked about himself, but left no chance for others to speak. So a quiet elderly practitioner couldn't share, and she abandoned the Fa study group. Because she felt physically unwell, she wanted to talk to the other practitioners about it, but she abandoned the group in the end. She even went to the hospital for treatment.
My understanding was that, because practitioners had not participated in group Fa study for so long, there certainly would be many issues to share. Thus, we should give them a chance to speak and listen patiently. By doing so, the speaker would feel encouragement and be willing to participate in the group Fa study.
Now I am responsible for delivering Minghui Weekly to them, and I am responsible for our local technical issues. We have regular Fa study and go out to validate the Fa.In this environment, other practitioners have returned to cultivation. At times we have had up to six practitioners in the Fa study group.
Recently, two practitioners had sickness karma, and the old forces took their lives. I knew the younger one pretty well. Before practicing Falun Dafa, she had illnesses; then she followed her mom and started practicing. I often studied the Fa with her and her mother.
After I heard about her death, I didn't cry because I knew that no matter where she has gone, Master will arrange everything the best for her. Moreover, the old forces could use my sentimentality to interfere with me.
Sometimes her voice calling my name came to mind. When this occurred, I spoke to that voice in my mind: “Please go in peace; I can take care of your mother.” Since this practitioner passed away after she obtained the Fa, I believed Master certainly would take care of her.
As I continued to go out to validate the Fa, I went to see her mom whenever I had time. When her mother cried, I was very calm, and I accompanied her for a meal and Fa study. I tried my best to comfort her based on the Fa. Having lost her daughter was too much for her to bear. Moreover, it was difficult for her to continue to study the Fa and use the Fa to break through the old forces' interference.
Some regions had many practitioners, and they had several Fa study groups. I noticed that there were differences between the groups. For example, I studied in one group and picked up truth-clarification materials from this group for a long time. I also donated some money to the practitioners in this group to help cover the costs of printing the materials. I sometimes went to another Fa study group and got material from them. When I did, a practitioner in my group was unhappy, saying that I should pay that group for any materials I got from them. This practitioner always had the notion that one should pay for the materials one wanted.
The understanding of whether or not a practitioner should pay for such materials depends on one's enlightenment quality. My understanding is that practitioners shouldn't let other practitioners donate money into a Dafa project; the work is volunteered. Master clearly teaches us in the Fa about collecting money. All Fa study groups that print materials are particles of the Fa. We are one body; we formed the group for convenience to study the Fa. Practitioners are one body; there is nothing wrong with picking up materials to save sentient beings. There should not be a notion that one must pay for the materials we use. Saving people is the top priority.
The above sharing is just my personal understanding at my present level. If there is something improper, please kindly point it out.