(Minghui.org) I was struck by the recent Minghui article “Falun Dafa Practitioners in the Eyes of an Enlightened Being,” because the deficiency of strong faith in Master and Dafa, as the enlightened being pointed out, also applied to me. This prompted me to reflect on my own cultivation state.
If I was asked whether I believe in Master and Dafa, I would definitely say “I do!” as I believe many practitioners would. However, I stumble in reality when I face trials and tribulations in daily life.
For example, when I experienced sickness karma, I initially treated it as persecution, interference, and illusion. I refused to recognize it or take it seriously. As time passed, my negative thoughts arose, and I thought about whether this “illness” would develop further, and why it wouldn't go away after I sent forth righteous thoughts, tried compassionate resolution with the old forces, and looked inward.
After a few years of having this sickness karma, my belief in Master and Dafa began to waiver. I believed that since I had been busy doing the three things, I would be considered diligent. So why hasn't my “illness” gone away?
I sometimes thought that my sickness karma should have been dissolved after I had righteous thoughts and did things in line with the Fa. I seemed to have done things well for the sake of getting rid of my sickness karma. I looked inward for the purpose of dissolving the sickness karma. But it didn't work. Even though I found a bunch of attachments I needed to eliminate, I didn't solve the fundamental problem of not believing in Master and Dafa.
I became exhausted while stumbling through the past sixteen years of persecution. Sometimes I thought, “Master said long ago it would end soon. We are in the last stage of the last stage, but I don't see any signs of the CCP collapsing.” The persecution is still continuing, and it is still very dangerous for practitioners in China.
I was under a lot of stress. I didn't want to lag behind in doing the three things Master asked us to do, but I still had fear about being persecuted. As a result, I wasn't completely willing to do my part of some of the Dafa projects. I appeared to be diligent, but my xinxing didn't improve. I felt it hard to make even a bit of improvement, and was often passive in doing truth-clarification work.
When a practitioner raised a question on this issue, I told her, “I believe in Dafa no matter what happens.” I seemed to be firm in my belief, but it wasn't out of my rational and deep understanding of the Fa.
Just like the enlightened being pointed out, some seemingly diligent behaviors were purely for the sake of showing others. How can a practitioner not expect to be interfered with by the old forces when holding this kind of thought?
No matter how much we do or how many times we read the Fa, it's not equivalent to solid improvement in our cultivation. The issue of believing in Master and Dafa is what's fundamental.
The enlightened being braved tribulations with 100% faith in his school of cultivation. Why can't we have 100% faith in our compassionate Master and the Fa of the universe? If we don't resolve this fundamental issue, we won't be able to raise our xinxing.
Cultivation is a serious matter. The closer to the end, the higher the requirements we have to meet. The test of faith will last until the last moment of our cultivation. As long as we can firmly believe in Master and Dafa, we can solve any problem in cultivation, and nothing will be able to block our paths.
The above is from my limited understanding. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
Category: Improving Oneself
