(Minghui.org) I was arrested and put in jail by Chinese Communist Party (CCP) authorities, because I practiced Falun Dafa. I was released in August 2010.
I subsequently studied the Fa for a while and then began to encourage people to quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations. I did not do well however, as I was very uncomfortable while talking to people.
Another practitioner partnered with me to talk to people about making the "three withdrawals" (quitting the CCP, Youth League, and Young Pioneers). He was very good at it, very natural, and could easily talk to anyone.
He told people the facts about Falun Dafa, and helped them quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations. Whoever he spoke to would chose to quit.
Jealousy Is Insidious
I continued talking to people the way I always did. I told them that Falun Dafa was very good and had healed my illnesses. I asked them to recite, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” I explained that doing so could help them become healthy. I also asked people to quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations.
At times, people asked me questions that were hard to answer. I panicked when I was unable to give clear and rational answers.
I read many truth-clarification articles, and the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party, but I still wasn't doing well at this. My fellow practitioner consistently did very well, and was very successful at convincing people to quit the CCP. His ability to speak clearly and precisely was very powerful.
I began to become jealous of him. He sensed it and was kind enough to point it out to me.
On one occasion, he signaled for me to chat with a lady. I thought, “Since you talk so well, why don’t you?” So I said nothing and let the opportunity pass. My jealousy was just like Master described,
“'...You can do all this work since you’re good at it. We aren’t good enough.'” (“Lecture Seven” from Zhuan Falun)
I went home and dared not even look at Master’s photo. I knew that jealousy had gotten the better of me. When I accidentally glanced at Master’s photo, he looked extremely serious, and His eyes were very sharp.
Fortunately, Dafa has mighty powers to eliminate such bad thoughts. By studying the Fa a lot, I eliminated my competitiveness, and became better at talking to others.
Eliminating Jealousy
Master said,
“Once it has been confirmed that this individual can reach Consummation, he can take his time to get rid of his remaining attachments.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Eastern U.S. Fa Conference”)
My fellow practitioner did very well at convincing people to quit the CCP, and gradually his pride took over. He even commented that he was the best practitioner in our region at getting people to quit the Party. I told him that he had the attachments of zealotry and showing off. He said with conviction, “No, I don’t!” I almost laughed at his response.
On one occasion, he mentioned to me that another practitioner wasn't cultivating very well. I told him that he should tell that person directly. He was upset and angrily defended himself.
Another time he could not convince someone to quit the CCP, and started to argue with him. He even came close to starting a fight.
I was shocked to see him behave this way, and I gradually began looking down on him. I knew that looking down on someone also fell into the category of jealousy. So again, I failed to eliminate that dirty human notion, let alone help him out.
I avoided arguing with him and just stood by. He started to have more and more trouble getting people to withdraw from the Party organizations. The old forces had snuck in to separate us, and we stopped working together as a team.
Master said,
“In fact, he has eliminated many of his attachments already, and he’s so much better than everyday people. Only the attachments he hasn’t removed can manifest.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Eastern U.S. Fa Conference”)
I was back to clarifying the truth alone, and the number of people I helped quit the Party was significantly less. I began to look down on other people’s shortcomings, which was a reflection of my cultivation failures. I had not cast off jealousy, and was not doing as good a job as Dafa disciples should do. I still feel sad about that.
Master arranged for that same practitioner to work with me again one year later. Whatever the weather, he came to ask me to go with him to clarify the truth to people. Most mornings, we could convince 70-80 people to withdraw, and in the afternoon we could help 90-100 people quit, twice as many as before. We also gave out Shen Yun DVDs and other materials.
He had improved a lot. He was showing more compassion and wisdom when talking to people. No matter what he heard, he just smiled and let go of the bad things. I appreciate Master’s arrangement and treasure this opportunity very much.
Category: Improving Oneself
