(Minghui.org) I have been a Falun Dafa practitioner for many years, but I never treated my husband as a practitioner should. This had a negative impact on him and he gradually changed from being supportive of Dafa to opposing it. After I searched within, talked to him and corrected my behavior, he became even more supportive of Dafa.
Before I was married, I led a very privileged life – I was doted on by everyone, both inside and outside my home. But after I got married, I found that my husband had a bad temper and in the past he even beat me. Therefore, I thought that he was not brought up well and even looked down on him.
I began to practice Falun Dafa in 2002 and witnessed many miracles within the first week of cultivation practice. My husband was very supportive.
Not long after I became a practitioner, I was put in charge of collecting and delivering Dafa truth clarification materials to practitioners. I told my husband that these materials were for awakening people. He then read through all the materials.
When the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party was published in 2004, many practitioners were not sure if this was suitable for ordinary people. Because they knew that my husband was supportive of Dafa, they felt it best to let him read the Nine Commentaries first, to see if he could accept the content. He read the entire book within one night. He felt that it was absolutely suitable for ordinary people.
He never prevented me from talking to people about Dafa and was nice to practitioners when they visited me.
A relative was persecuted for talking to people about Dafa in 2008. This unnerved my husband.
The police came to our home twice to harass me. My husband was not at home the first time, but was the second time. He did not open the door when police knocked. He told me about it and said that he was worried because we had Dafa materials in our home.
A neighbor warned and told him to ask me to lay low for a while. My husband suspected that one of our neighbors had reported me to the police. He told me to be more careful and to tell the other practitioners not to visit our home.
My husband had not worried about such trivialities in the past, but after the encounter with the police he became more paranoid. Moreover, practitioners who visited us were not always very careful. For example, they made a lot of noise and talked in a loud voice.
My husband could not understand why practitioners behaved in such an inconsiderate manner, when they should be better than ordinary people and put others before themselves. He began to judge my words and actions more. He even said that he felt like he did not belong in our home.
Outside my home, I followed the Fa in my actions, but at home, I did not treat my husband like a sentient being. I realized that I had to change. When our house got too messy, I made no attempt to clean it, and when he asked my help, I responded irritably. These actions, which were not in line with the Fa's requirements, gave him a negative impression of Dafa.
Master has asked us to awaken more people, but my actions pushed my husband away. Yet our family members have a strong predestined relationship with us, and so we needed to be more careful and attentive in how we treated them.
After I thought about it, I realized that my behavior arose from the constant brainwashing of the Chinese people by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and my postnatal acquired notions.
I refused to give in when I thought I was right and craved recognition. Moreover, I said whatever I wanted to say without another thought and sometimes even used the Fa to quell his words. There was still a lot of selfishness I had to let go off.
Master said,
“If you want to cultivate, you have to set aside human emotion. Of course, while we’re cultivating in the ordinary world we’re supposed to respect our parents and be good to them, just as we should teach our kids and discipline them. In every situation we should be good to others and be kind to people, let alone your family members. We should treat everyone the same, be good to our parents and our kids, and always be considerate of others. Then your heart isn’t a selfish one when you do that, but a compassionate one—it’s compassion. Emotion is the stuff of ordinary people. They just live for emotion.” (The Sixth Talk in Zhuan Falun)
Now that I had found the root cause, I needed to treat my husband with kindness.
“My Master tells us that we must always be considerate of others,” I said to my husband. “If you can't take it, then maybe we should go our separate ways. You are a good person, and if I or other practitioners have done something to make you dislike them or be disrespectful to Master, then the blame does not solely rest on you.”
I continued, “I have practiced Dafa for so many years and we have weathered so many difficult times together. I have indeed had a responsibility in making you less supportive of Dafa, and I will change for the better.”
He said that what made him change was my behavior. For example when he went out of town twice I did not pick him up at the station. Then, when he got home I lost my temper and did not bother to explain why I did not pick him up. He told me that I should follow the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. Yet, my actions were just the opposite. This was the kind of behavior he could not understand.”
“You all practice the universal great law,” he said, “which no other practice can compare to. Yet why do you all still behave in this manner? I know that Dafa is good, but the reason why I don't practice Dafa is that my temper is bad, and I'm afraid of slipping up and damaging the name of Dafa.”
We talked for a long time which helped my husband understand things better. He asked Master Li to forgive him, and pledged to support Dafa.
Thereafter, my husband became even more supportive of Dafa. He got my 80-year-old uncle from my hometown so he could hear the facts about Dafa, and despite being a retired policeman, my uncle eventually became a practitioner.
When he visited friends or relatives, my husband took the {{Nine Commentaries}} and other truth-clarification materials with him. For a relative's birthday party, he arranged the music selection for the party, as he was afraid that others might include communist party songs.
I hope that any practitioner who faces a similar situation can also resolve their family situation to be in an even better position to awaken sentient beings.