(Minghui.org) One day in 2015 I woke up in the morning feeling dizzy and out of balance. I could barely keep myself from falling over. The area behind my left ear hurt badly and I felt like vomiting. I did not tell my family so as not to make them worry. That day I managed to listen to three chapters of the Jinan Fa lectures and did some truth-clarification work.
The next day my situation did not improve at all. It hurt so badly just to swallow.
Something similar happened to me ten years ago. I did not conduct myself well and allowed my family to take me to the hospital, where I was diagnosed with a cerebral hemorrhage and hospitalized for six days.
The symptoms were very similar, and this time I recalled what Master taught us:
“Should you believe that you are ill, this may really cause you to become ill. This is because once you assume that you are ill, your xinxing level will be as high as that of everyday people.” (Zhuan Falun)
“As a practitioner, if you always think that it is an illness, you are actually asking for it. If you ask for an illness, it will come inside your body. As a practitioner, your xinxing level should be high.” (Zhuan Falun)
With this in mind, I thought: “This is absolutely not a human illness, but rather the evil persecuting me. I must continue to listen to Master's Fa lectures and send more righteous thoughts.”
That day I listened to three lectures, but my situation still did not improve. I thought, “Maybe I have not had enough sleep lately. I will go to bed early tonight. Tomorrow everything will be back to normal.”
The third day everything was the same. The pain was still unbearable. As I sat on my bed for a minute after breakfast, I heard a voice in my mind: “Search within. Search within. Searching within is the magic tool.”
I suddenly realized it was Master giving me a hint since I could not enlighten to this myself. After my family left for work, I sat down and started to look for human notions and anything I did that was contrary to the Fa teachings.
First, I found I had the attachment to comfort. I had always planned to do the five sets of exercises right after the midnight sending of righteous thoughts, but did not always do this. I would say to myself, “Let me just sleep another few minutes, then I will do the exercises.” When I opened my eyes it would be dawn.
Sometimes when it was ten minutes to 6 a.m., the next time to send righteous thoughts, I would think, “I will sleep another five minutes and wake up right before sending righteous thoughts.” When I actually woke up, it would be already 7 a.m.
Second, I was not respectful to Master and the Fa. Oftentimes I listened to the Fa lectures while doing household work. Sometimes I would lie down in my bed while reading the Fa.
Third, I occasionally neglected Fa study. I started to write my legal complaint against Jiang Zemin and would help other practitioners write theirs. I was also doing other truth-clarification projects. Sometimes even two days would pass without my studying the Fa.
Realizing my problems, I decided on my next course of action. My situation was caused by the old forces' persecution by taking advantage of my lack of Fa study. I thought, “Starting immediately, I will read three chapters of Zhuan Falun a day.”
I sat down with my legs double crossed to read the book. I let go of my concern for pain. Little by little, my pain subsided. No matter how tired I was, I did not lie down in bed while reading.
When I had finished one chapter, my pain disappeared. That day I completed all three chapters. I did not become overjoyed. I just said to myself, “Maybe I have done the right thing by searching inside. Who knows what would happen next had Master not given me a hint to wake up? Thank you Master!”
Since that day I have been studying the Fa every morning, no matter what. If I had some truth clarification work to be done in the morning, I would catch up in the afternoon right away.
My cultivation experience over the years has shown me that Master is by my side all the time, protecting and guiding me and giving me cultivation hints. How fortunate I am!
I also learned that the evil will take advantage of our loopholes if our thoughts deviate from the Fa. We, as Dafa practitioners, must study the Fa well. The things we do are only meaningful when we study the Fa well.
I hope my sharing can be a reminder for fellow practitioners in similar situations. Please point out anything improper or any language tainted with Chinese Communist Party culture.
Category: Improving Oneself