(Minghui.org)
As the youngest daughter in my family, I grew up never having to worry about helping with any housework. A year after I got married, I gave birth to a son. My husband worked very hard in a factory,and my mother-in-law would not help me with the housework or with the baby.
I had to work, cook, do the housework and take care of the baby. I came down with a fever, but doctors could not diagnose the cause. When I was discharged from the hospital 20 days later, I was skin and bones. I knew my illness was caused by fatigue.
My husband was the firstborn in his family. As his wife, I had to meet his family's expectations. At every gathering or family reunion, I had to cook while others were eating at the table. As my son grew up he came to understand the family dynamics. He was often angry about how unfairly I was treated.
My husband lost his job. He became moody and often threw tantrums. He tried to make money in the stock market, but instead lost a lot of money. My health declined further due to deep-seated resentment. I developed severe lower back pain. I struggled to survive work and daily responsibilities.
A doctor recommended Falun Dafa to me. She told me Falun Dafa is a practice of great virtue that can elevate one's character and keep one fit. She took me to the practice site to learn the five sets of exercises. I immediately felt something spinning in my lower abdomen.
The practice site coordinator told me, “You have a strong predestined relationship. Master has given you a Falun.” She gave me a copy of Zhuan Falun, and I completed the book in one 24-hour period, and I then understood the answers to so many questions in life.
I had diarrhea for three consecutive days. I then entered into a wonderful state that was free of illness, and my entire body felt light. I was very excited about the state I was experiencing!
I introduced Dafa to my friends and family, and I set up a practice site and a Fa-study group at work. I conducted myself according to Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and took fame and profit lightly. I let go of my resentment. My life at that time was indeed happy.
Jiang Zemin started persecuting Falun Dafa in July 1999. Many practitioners were illegally arrested. As a person in charge of a practice site, I was targeted and my workplace forced me to hand in all my Falun Dafa books. The police forced me to sign a guarantee statement to say that I would never practice cultivation again.
Master said,
“...while many other students have found with their human notions various yearnings and wishes in Dafa, and, compelled by these human attachments, they have come to practice cultivation in Dafa.” (“Towards Consummation” in Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I was this kind of student. I couldn't bear the extreme pressure of the persecution and committed a huge sin. I gave up practicing Dafa.
I gradually started to return to my old ways. Through my network of acquaintances, I found my husband a job out of town. Unsatisfied at his being in a mid-level cadre, I used my network to find him a salaried job at a senior level.
Our good times did not last long. Because we were apart for a long time, in the summer of 2006, I learned my husband was having an affair. I tried everything, but I couldn't solve the problem. I was mentally and physically exhausted and fell ill.
I had not taken a single pill since I had started practicing Dafa in 1997, but now I had to see a doctor at home and received an IV. I was lying in bed that night when I felt something like a small fan spinning on my head. I knew it was a Falun adjusting my body. I realized Master was still watching over this disappointing disciple. I said in my heart repeatedly, “Thank you Master! Thank you Master!”
The Falun continued to spin around my entire body for quite a while. I felt very refreshed the next morning. I knew what I should do.
Master said,
“Cultivation practice is the only way to find yourself comfortably free of illness and to accomplish the goal of being truly free!” (Lecture Two in Zhuan Falun)
I tracked down some fellow practitioners that I had known before the persecution, and they all helped me. They provided me with all the lectures Master had given since 1999 as well as the Minghui Weekly magazine. They studied the Fa with me, shared their understandings and experiences with me, and helped me publish my “Solemn Declaration” online to renounce the “guarantee statement” the police had forced me to sign under duress.
I seized every possible minute to study the Fa, because only by doing that could I forget the emotional pain. I have persisted in exercising at 3:50 am every morning and sending forth righteous thoughts at the global times four times a day. Through reading the Fa, hand-copying the Fa, and memorizing the Fa, as well as reading practitioners' experience-sharing articles, I have gradually learned how to cultivate, and understood that looking inside and cultivating myself are essential.
Looking inside I realized that I was also responsible for the mishap with my marriage. I failed to respect my husband, and I had a lot of complaints. I did not comply with Master's Fa,
“...men knew how to treat their wives, and were considerate and cared for their wives; and wives also knew to be considerate of their husbands—that was the way yin and yang coexisted. ” (“Teaching the Fa at a New York Meeting” from Lectures in the United States)
I stopped quarreling with my husband and allowed him some time to end his affair. I continued to care for my mother-in-law. After my father-in-law passed away, she had to let his private caregiver go. I became her only support.
When I came home from work every day I felt very tired. I then had to cook dinner for my mother-in-law. My resentment surfaced, because I ate dinner at work and had to go home to cook just for her. I wanted to become a good person and to validate Dafa, but I could not reach the realm of “With no discontentment or hatred, he takes hardship as joy.” (“Realms” in Essentials for Further Advancement ) No matter how hard I tried, I felt I was suffering a lot.
Master saw my will to cultivate and helped me several times. One morning while sitting in meditation I suddenly saw the number “312.” What does it mean, I wondered? I looked up the date on the calendar and didn't find anything significant. I opened the book Zhuan Falun and turned to page 312 and found,
“Of course, we have said that we will not point out what it means. Think about it, everyone: Only by being among the most complex group of people and in the most complex environment can one cultivate the high-level gong—it implies this.” (Lecture Nine in Zhuan Falun)
I was moved to tears. Thank you our esteemed Master!
It occurred to me that my mother-in-law would not lift a finger to do any housework. I not only had to prepare food for her, I even had to set out her chopsticks for every meal. Why did she lack any trace of motherliness?
During meditation, Master let me see that my mother-in-law's primordial spirit was male. This helped me remove my resentment a lot.
I thought I had removed all the resentment toward my mother-in-law, but one day, as soon as I arrived home and saw her, I felt bothered again. I could not force any kindheartedness into my tone of voice, and I could not smile. I wondered why, and I started looking inside.
While sending forth righteous thoughts, I felt as if I was writing something. I looked closely and saw that I was writing “suffering from an injustice.” Alas, it was my attachment to being wronged at play.
I had taken a detour before I returned to cultivation practice. Now my personal cultivation process is merged with my Fa-rectification cultivation practice process. I have vividly found it true that “Cultivation depends on one’s own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one’s master.” (Lecture One in Zhuan Falun)
Our benevolent Master has held my hand step-by-step to overcome many tests and tribulations. I have gradually gone from only being able to endure with tears to being able to “...endure completely without anger or grievance is the forbearance of a cultivator.” (“What is Forbearance (Ren)?” in Essentials for Further Advancement) Thank you, Master!
As a practitioner, I know that marriages are predestined and determined by heaven, and that divorce is the last thing we should do. However, three years had passed and my husband had still not ended his affair, so we reached a divorce settlement. I had one request for him, “Burn three sticks of incense in front of Master Li's portrait and bow three times to Master.” He agreed and did it. He also quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations using his real name.
Nearly two years after the divorce, my ex-husband called me and told me he was sick. He had developed some sort of facial paralysis and the treatment available in his city was limited. As a practitioner, I wanted to treat others with kindness, so I agreed to let him stay in my home while he received treatment. This surprised his family.
My son told me that when my ex-husband's sister heard about his situation and told my mother-in-law to be prepared for her son to stay with her. She thought I definitely would not let him stay in my home.
I did not ask my ex-husband any questions when he came. I helped him settle in, and I accompanied him to see the doctors. I gave him a Shen Yun DVD and Master's lectures to watch, and shared with him my cultivation experiences. I taught him the Falun Dafa exercises and did the exercises with him.
The diagnosis at the hospital showed that his illness was the most serious kind of facial paralysis. The doctors said it would take a month to see just a little improvement, but a month later, he had completely recovered.
Before he left, he told me that the woman he had an affair with did not want to marry him because of their age difference. She could not bear the pressure and quickly found herself someone younger and married him. My ex-husband thanked me for letting him go two years ago. He said, if I had not, he would not have been able to part with that woman so easily.
Practicing cultivation in Dafa has changed me. I am now kind and tolerant, and my ex-husband has deeply felt this. We remarried and had a grand family reunion during the Chinese New Year. Everybody was happy. People say it is rare for a broken mirror to be mended, but as practitioner I know that "The great Fa is boundless," from Lecture Two in Zhuan Falun.
The joys and sorrows of my family have proven that practicing Falun Dafa brings numerous benefits, including to society and to family life. What happened to my family was a miracle and word traveled fast. Our friends and family witnessed how wonderful Dafa is and understood the truth. They helped me spread the truth about Falun Dafa as well.
Most of my maternal family members know the real situation behind the persecution and quit the Party and its affiliated organizations. My in-law's family were poisoned by the evil party culture more deeply, and most of them have not quit the party yet. However, they all know that Falun Dafa is good and it saved their family.
A manager in my workplace told me, “It is rare for my wife to admire anyone, but she often praises you in front of me. She said it takes a lot to take care of one's mother-in-law after being betrayed by her husband.” I asked, “Would I be able to do this if I didn't practice Falun Dafa?”
My husband and I both retired this year. We live with his mother. His brothers and sisters are very grateful for this. Even though my husband has not officially started practicing cultivation, he often does the exercises with me. My entire family supports me practicing Dafa.
With our great benevolent Master's protection and fellow practitioners' help, I now have a harmonious family and a glorious title in the entire universe – Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple. I smile all day long. It is Falun Dafa that changed me from a sad woman to a happy woman.