An Experience of Looking Inward

(Minghui.org) I had an experience looking inward a few years ago that I would like to share.

Several other practitioners and I were distributing truth-clarification flyers in the countryside when someone reported us to the police. One practitioner was arrested. Another practitioner and I were hemmed in on a mountain road, and I didn't know what to do.

It seemed as if nothing was real and looked ridiculous. I thought, “The evil can't hurt us. I'm not afraid of being arrested, because I have learned how to look inward. I may end up disintegrating the evil's den.”

When the other practitioner tried to explain the truth about Falun Dafa to the people who were trying to arrest us, they beat him. Even though I worried about him, I didn't have sufficient righteous thoughts to clarify the facts very well. I kindly asked them to stop beating him, but they all ignored me and then left.

I stood there quietly, thinking that I was responsible for what had happened, and that I shouldn't have let my fellow practitioner suffer the tribulation by himself. But I didn't know exactly what to do.

Just then, I had a clear memory of something that happened when we first started distributing flyers. I had seen a suspicious motorcycle behind us. I was afraid to make the wrong decision, so I asked our coordinator for her opinion, hoping to get instructions from her. I didn't want to stop distributing flyers if it turned out to not be a police motorcycle, but I was also afraid my fellow practitioners would blame me if I made the wrong decision. The coordinator asked for my opinion, but I didn't tell her what I honestly thought.

This memory made me realize that I was more serious about protecting my reputation than I was about my cultivation. As a cultivator, I should have been honest, but my selfishness caused a loss. I saw that the basis of my cultivation in the past was for myself.

I felt deep regret after realizing this. I sincerely apologized to Master in my mind, “Master, I was wrong. I didn't cultivate myself well. I now know what I should be working on! Everything I do and say from now on will be based on being responsible to the Fa and my fellow practitioners.” I saw the gap between myself and my fellow practitioners. I lacked the righteous thoughts it took to offer salvation to sentient beings.

I suddenly heard voices from far away, which drew me out of my deep thought. They were exclaiming that they didn't want to hold us anymore. My fellow practitioners were eventually released. We all returned home safely.

I gained a lot of understanding of the Fa from this experience. Although I didn't describe it very well, I would like to thank Master for saving me and giving me the magical tool of looking inward. I'm determined to follow Master's instructions and become a true Dafa disciple.

I wish Master a Happy New Year! Heshi!