(Minghui.org) I recently asked my son to let his father and stepmother host his wedding. His stepmother had no children of her own, and everyone already knew that I was his biological mother. My son said this was a great gesture! However, I reminded him that I practice Falun Gong and strive to be a more considerate person.
I started to practice Falun Gong in 1998 and noticed changes soon after taking up the practice. I knew that I had found a great cultivation way! When my ex-husband treated me badly, I no longer felt wronged and was still happy because I used the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance to regulate myself. I learned in Zhuan Falun that women should be gentle with their husbands, and when anything happens, we need to look inside for our own shortcomings.
My ex-husband had a bad temper and wanted to control everything, including which TV programs to watch. Whenever he felt upset, he would abuse and even hit me. Then he would forget the event.
I avoided fighting with him and let him get away with it. But I would feel unhappy for a long time afterwards. I thought there was no reason for him to take advantage of me like that.
Right after I started to practice Falun Gong, he divorced me. He even threatened to kill me if I refused to agree to a divorce. He said that, since I had mentioned wanting to divorce him earlier, his feelings were hurt and he could not live with me any longer.
In the divorce agreement, he stipulated that our son would stay with him, our daughter would stay with me, and he would keep the house since his employer had given it to him. He also wanted half of our property.
I agreed to his conditions and signed the document. My co-workers, relatives and friends all thought I was being taken advantage of.
I had a simple mind at that time: “I am a Falun Gong practitioner and should be considerate of others no matter what. As long as he has a good life, I can just follow the course of nature and let it be.” Falun Gong helped me become a good and considerate person.
Apologizing to My Son’s Stepmother for His Behavior
My son was a teenager and quite disagreeable. He often raised cane with his stepmother and once called to brag about it afterwards.
I explained to my son that what he had done was wrong and told him that he needed to apologize to his stepmother. He thought it was her fault, and that he should not let her take advantage of him.
That evening my son came to my place to stay. I helped him see his problem and explained how hard life was for his stepmother. The next day he agreed to move back home.
I then called his stepmother and apologized for his behavior. I told her it was my fault because I had not educated him well. She was touched by my consideration and often told others that I was a good person.
My Ex-husband Notices My Positive Changes
I asked my ex-husband to let my son live with me, and he agreed. I wanted my son to have a healthier environment to grow up in. My ex-husband gave me 300 yuan a month for our son’s expenses and offered to pay for any emergencies. Three hundred yuan was not enough to raise our son, but I did not argue with him. I knew I should let go when facing self-interest.
Sometimes I felt unbalanced in my heart, especially when my son was against me. For a while, I only bought food for my son and waited for his father to pay for extra expenses.
My ex-husband was then hired by a new company and got a raise. I felt embarrassed and disturbed by it. I knew it was jealousy and the attachment of seeking self-interest at work, and that it was time for me to let go of these thoughts.
However, I found this to be really hard, so I made myself study the Fa more. With the Fa’s powerful mighty virtue, I removed the attachment of jealousy and no longer felt bad when I thought about his income.
My son told me that his father was thinking about giving me some extra money for Chinese New Year. I told him that I did not want his father to spend money casually. Later I called my ex-husband and told him that he did not need to give me money for our son's education. I explained that this would create a good habit for our son not to spend money frivolously. My ex-husband commented that I had changed a lot!
Using the Principles of the Fa to Educate My Son
My son had a strong sense of self-esteem but was not good at his studies. He often failed his science tests and sometimes skipped school to take a break. He took his anger out on me if his teacher reprimanded him or if anything else bad happened.
Sometimes I reacted to his behavior and lost my temper. My son would get so mad that he would often knock over a table. Each time that happened, I apologized afterwards with a smile. I told him I was wrong, and that I hadn’t followed the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.
Helping My Son Improve at School
In time my son started to talk about things that happened at school. He discussed his assignments and allowed me to help him with his homework. I often told him about Chinese traditions and legends that taught the value of being a good person. I also read him quotations from Falun Gong books that targeted his issues.
My son joined the track team at school. When he was in 12th grade, his classmates didn’t want to join because they did not like their coach. My son was the captain of the team then, and he put in a lot of effort to convince his fellow classmates to give it a try.
In one race, his team came in third place. However, another teammate went to the podium to accept the award. My son was upset and told me about it when he got home. He said he had wasted his time encouraging everyone.
I said, “You talked to your teammates for the sake of your team. Now you guys have won an award! You met your goal. No matter who went up to accept the prize, the award was for the entire team.” My son said the other teams all sent out their captains to receive the rewards. He felt he had lost face.
I read him a paragraph from Zhuan Falun about a general named Han Xin who was humiliated by a hooligan who told him to crawl between his legs. My son smiled and said, “What I faced was nothing compared to that.”
Master told us,
“So long as you, a Dafa disciple, do things righteously, you will transform the environment around you, and you will change people.” (Teaching the Fa in San Francisco, 2005)
I have always told my son to be kind and considerate of others. And after witnessing my behavior, he has changed a lot.
He supports me in my cultivation and believes in Falun Gong. He never interferes with me, and when I send righteous thoughts, he gently closes his door and watches TV. He also greets fellow practitioners when they visit me. He even burned incense before Master’s photo for three days before he took the college entrance exams. He saw Master smiling at him and did very well. He made 90 points higher than before in math, and he was selected to go to a good college.
I reminded him that he needed to respect his stepmother and to communicate with her more. I also told him that when she got old, he would need to follow tradition and take care of her. My son admits that now he gets along well with his stepmother.
Category: Improving Oneself
