(Minghui.org) At an experience-sharing gathering, a Falun Dafa practitioner shared her experience in making phone calls to a police station in China. While happy when her efforts to reach Chinese people were effective, she also found that the process helped her discover her attachments related to jealousy.
Seeing My Jealous Mentality
When I made a call one day, the party at the other end listened for quite a while.
A thought crossed my mind at that moment, “Making phone calls to police stations is not that difficult, and they are likely to pick up the phone. If I called they would also pick up the phone and listen for a long time.”
However, the next day when I called a police station, no one picked up the phone. I looked inside and found that it was due to the jealousy I had felt toward other practitioners who do a good job making calls. Practitioners making calls is done to save lives. I should be happy for their achievements. Why should I feel jealous?
Master said,"A wicked person is born of jealousy.Out of selfishness and anger he complains about unfairness towards himself.A benevolent person always has a heart of compassion.With no discontentment or hatred, he takes hardship as joy.An enlightened person has no attachments at all.He quietly observes the people of the world deluded by illusions."("Realms" in Essentials for Further Advancement)
Before that incident, I had also been jealous of a practitioner I worked with. When she was praised by the group, my jealousy flared up; I thought I had put in more effort than she did.
On several occasions, I could not achieve the desired call-through rate. After I learned that other practitioners’ calls also did not achieve a good call-through rate, I somehow felt relieved that they also were not successful.
But at other times, when I learned that their phone calls achieved a good call-through rate, and they had effective communications in their calls, I felt anxious and did not know what to do. My competitive mentality and attachment to fame arose; I felt uneasy when I saw that others outperformed me.
Jealousy Has Different Manifestations
Jealousy can manifest as one wanting to do better than others and feeling upset if others excel. Looking down on others is also a type of jealousy. When working with other practitioners, I sometimes had the thought: “Why do you do it this way?” Although I did not say anything; I believed that what the others accomplished was not as good as what I had done. This mentality is also jealousy.
Another type of jealousy includes "envy." Such as, envying other practitioners for their good efforts at clarifying the truth to people about Falun Dafa, their persuading more people to quit the Chinese Communist Party and its affiliated organizations, or for their good cultivation environment. All this “envying” is also a manifestation of jealousy.
Once, during a morning phone call session, after a practitioner just finished a call, I asked her how her shift had been going. While she was talking to me, she asked another practitioner to help her out. It happened that the practitioner being asked had recently asked me about how to make phone calls.
My heart was moved by this, and I had some negative thoughts about these practitioners. I logged out of the platform, then realized that I should not have done that. I quickly logged back in, found the practitioner I was talking to and continued our conversation. During our talk, my negative thoughts about her disappeared.
Another time, two practitioners took turns to call a number. The person on the other end had a good attitude, but refused to listen to their truth-clarification about Falun Dafa and the persecution. We shared our thoughts, and the other practitioners asked me to give it a try. I made the call with confidence.
However, after the other party answered, he said some dirty words and blamed me for not respecting him. Despite his harsh attitude, I kept talking. After finishing the call, I wondered why he said those things.
I came to realize that I must have attachments that I need to discard. I looked within and discovered that I had a competitive mentality, a mentality of self-validation, the thought of being better than others, lust, and jealousy. That was why he had that kind of reaction toward me.
Jealousy Causes Other Attachments and Friction Among Practitioners
Jealousy is linked with many other attachments, including the competitive mentality, self-validation, arrogance, and willfulness. This type of person prefers to look outward for reasons upon encountering conflicts. And his first thought would be to judge whether others are conforming to the Fa. This is a cunning mentality; the person doesn’t want to change himself and denies his role in the matter. This is the “old force’s” mentality.
Master said,
“My Dafa disciples… You all say that you want to do what Dafa disciples are called to do, to really have an effect in Fa-rectification, and to help Master rectify the Fa. But to achieve that you need to put your heart into it, lest you instead be a burden. If you can’t achieve it, you will cause interference and you will fail to fulfill your oath as a Dafa disciple. Only when you truly give this due weight will things work out.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the Epoch Times Meeting”)
“Human attachments are what block your path, and thus the entire journey has been bumpy and filled with constant troubles. Because there are too many human attachments involved, people try to defend themselves when problems come up, rather than defend the Fa.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the Epoch Times Meeting”)
Jealousy causes friction and negative mentalities among our practitioners, and it disturbs our cooperation. It also reduces our overall capacity to help save more people. We must find every jealous thought and discard it so we can work together effectively and improve in cultivation.
Striving to Discard the Jealous Mentality
While working with other practitioners, I have been trying my best to identify my jealousy and reject it as soon as it comes up. When I see other practitioners achieve good results, and the jealous mentality starts reflecting in my mind, I correct my thought and consider: “Other practitioners achieved great results in saving people. This is a good thing, and I am not jealous of them.”
Please point out anything that is wrong in my understanding.
Category: Improving Oneself
