(Minghui.org) As a Falun Dafa practitioner, we follow the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. Gradually we become honest, genuine and sincere. Others like to associate with and confide in us, tell us their doubts and discuss their questions and concerns. During such conversations, it is inevitable that there will be some gossip, hearsay or someone who talks behind others’ backs.
When facing such issues, my first thought is to look inward and ask myself, “Why am I hearing this? Do I have the same attachment? Does this gossip target my loopholes in cultivation? Do they say this to improve my cultivation? Such gossip is just like a mirror, which challenges us to look within.
At times I forget to look within, but not for long. When I cannot find the attachment immediately, I keep digging deeper. When I find it, I eliminate it, and my cultivation has made another step forward.
When people complain about, ridicule, or talk badly about others, I will not fuel the fire. Instead, I search for my shortcomings. This attention to the particular issue, as well as by studying the Fa, were instrumental in my eliminating strong attachments to hatred, fighting with others and jealousy.
Two incidents happened this February and March. They allowed me to see my strong attachment to self-interest. I questioned myself: Why do I still have such strong attachments after cultivating for so long? I know there is no cure or shortcut. I can only eliminate them by studying the Fa more diligently and looking within.
Talking behind someone’s back can be a bad habit. Therefore, I have decided to first look within when people degrade or attack others in front of me. Then, I either keep silent or tell the person that I have not heard about it or that I do not know if this is the truth. This signals that I am not interested in any further discussion about the matter. If this does not work, I will try to change the topic or leave.
In fact, when some people talk behind someone’s back, they are afraid to confront the other party directly.
For instance, in 2015 my company had to reduce production due to a lack of sales. During the recession, the staff in the kitchen took turns working part time.
I was told that a certain person kept his wife working full time. I checked into the situation, found that I was told the truth, and that it was related to my work. I reminded that person of the rules regarding part-time work and asked him to correct his action. He accepted it, and the matter was resolved.
Then, someone reported that so and so drank too much and behaved badly in a night club. It was my responsibility to talk to her. She appreciated my honest approach and thought I truly cared about her by pointing out her shortcoming.
If someone viciously attacks others behind their backs, I do not participate. If what they said is true, I change their hurtful words into sincere and kind reminders and talk to the person under discussion. They always accept what I tell them and change their behavior.
The result can be different, depending on how we choose to act on the issue of gossip or talking behind someone’s back. If we do it rationally, it will benefit everyone. If we do it incorrectly, it could turn into a bigger problem.