(Minghui.org) When I read a sharing article recently, I suddenly noticed the words, “emotional attachment to fellow practitioners”. When I thought about some tests that I didn't do well on in the past, I realized that I had an emotional attachment to fellow practitioners.
I started practicing Falun Dafa before 1999. At that time when we read,
“Let each and every thing be measured against the Fa.” ("Solid Cultivation" from Hong Yin
We compared ourselves to see who could sit with their legs crossed longest, who practiced the exercises more times a day, who had read more lectures in Zhuan Falun, who remembered more paragraphs of the Fa or who hand copied more sections of Zhuan Falun.
When the persecution suddenly started in July 1999, I asked practitioners to appeal for Dafa by going to Beijing, but none of them agreed with me. Some even said that I was “irrational”, “did not conform to normal behavior” or was “destroying the Fa”.
Because I thought they were better practitioners than I, it was puzzling. They diligently did the exercises for several hours each day, tirelessly taught the exercises at the group practice site, and used every available moment to read the Fa. I really admired them.
Even though I felt I was not as diligent as they were, I was the only one who suggested we go to Beijing. I suddenly felt alone and lost confidence in myself.
This was only the beginning of tests to my faith.
A few practitioners were brainwashed and began to help the communist party persecute fellow practitioners. Some practitioners stopped practicing. Some developed severe illnesses, and some passed away. A few died in accidents. One suffered a mental collapse.
I was entangled in my emotional attachment to fellow practitioners and forgot Master's teaching,
“Practicing cultivation is to cultivate one’s own self.” ("A Heavy Blow" from Essentials For Further Advancement)
For a long time, I let myself be dominated by human notions and my faith in Dafa wavered. I learned a bitter lesson.
I read the following teaching many times but did not understand. After I identified my attachment to emotion, I suddenly understood.
“...you yourself must cultivate that part which you are supposed to in the cultivation process, and endure the little bit that you are supposed to endure. It will not pose any danger to you, but you must grasp what cultivation is and how to go about it. Only when you come to new insights and improve does it count as cultivation.” ("Fa Teaching Given at the 2010 New York Fa Conference")
I also realized that I had not been truly cultivating. I was merely practicing the exercises because I felt that I had very few new insights and improvements.
As soon as I let go of this attachment, I had more compassion and less emotion. When someone told me a practitioner had done very well in validating the Fa by passing out fliers or talking to a number of people and helping them quit the Party I respected that practitioner but I will not blindly admire or follow them.
I will continue to validate the Fa in my own way and solidly improve my xinxing.
I will look inward and measure each and every thing with the Fa, not another practitioner. Any emotional attachment can be dangerous.
Category: Improving Oneself
