(Minhui.org) Before I started practicing Falun Dafa (also known as Falun Gong), I was riddled with all kinds of illnesses, so much so that I was unable to do any heavy work.
My husband had a bad temper, but I had a strong personality and refused to be bullied, so physical altercations were commonplace in our household. I was no match to him, so I usually pinched him to bruise him black and blue.
Later, our fights turned into deadly combats. I often thought about divorce, but with two children, I found myself between a rock and a hard place. Once after another vicious fight, I sat on the ground and lamented, “Is there a God in the heavens? If there is, I need him to rescue me.”
I obtained the Fa in 1997 by coincidence. I read the book Zhuan Falun and watched Master’s exercise instruction video with tears in my eyes. I knew the God I longed for was finally there to save me. Then and there, I made up my mind I would cultivate diligently so I could eventually reach consummation.
From studying the Fa, I understood the true meaning of life. I realized all my misfortunes were due to karma I had accumulated from past lives.
I decided to change myself from within my heart and live my life in accordance with Dafa’s principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance. I would treat all life with a kind heart. I would not fight back and I would be a good wife at home and a good citizen in society.
A few days later, my body was restored to health and harmony. Because I changed, my husband did too.
He told others, “My wife is like another person now that she practices Falun Dafa.”
On July 20, 1999, the Communist regime, under Jiang Zemin's order and direction, began to suppress Falun Gong and persecute Falun Gong practitioners all across China. I was no exception.
Without having committed a crime, I had been arrested six times, detained in forced labor camps three times, held in detention centers and labor camps for more than six years, and displaced for over two years.
Being Compassionate Even When Going Through Trials and Tribulations
In the labor camp, in order to “transform” me, the guards ordered criminal prisoners to torture me. They locked me up in a storeroom for two weeks in pitch darkness and made me stand for days without sleep.
Two drug addicts hit me with electric wires until my body was lacerated and bruised all over. They also pinched me in my inner thighs until large patches of my skin turned black and blue.
When they didn’t get their expected result, the guards handcuffed me and hung me up for hours on end, and sometimes overnight. One time, I made a groaning noise and the guards shocked me with an electric baton.
That time, I succumbed and compromised, to my extreme regret. I felt so saddened that I had betrayed Master and Dafa I wanted to end my life, but Master enlightened me. A voice popped into my head, “What will your death achieve?”I told myself, "My death will achieve nothing. I have to stay alive. I have work to do and sentient beings to save.”
Although the guards had put me through an untold number of tortures, I did not diminish my feeling of goodwill toward them. I never shed a tear over whatever they did to me, but I wept because I felt they committed crimes against Dafa and humanity because of my failures in my cultivation.
The labor camps throughout China were at their worst in 2005, even the air was suffocated with evil factors, so that everybody was feeling generally very nervous and particularly greatly depressed.
The 610 Office once sent officials to various labor camps to check the progress of “transformation” of Falun Gong practitioners. Practitioners in each camp were summoned in front of the designated official and ordered to talk about their feelings toward Falun Gong.
Since each practitioner’s state of cultivation was different but all were afraid, since if anyone dared to validate Dafa, that practitioner would be punished with hanging by the guards. Since an over 60-year-old old practitioner had been punished to stand until her feet were swollen, no one had the courage to speak from the heart but only whatever the authorities wanted to hear.
I was the last one in line to speak. I got very anxious when looking at the roomful of people and listening to the other practitioners speak.
I was thinking, “So many practitioners are speaking out of fear rather than the truth. All these roomful of people are listening, if they really believe what they hear, how will they be saved? Won’t it mean the end for them?”
I pleaded with Master to give me wisdom because I wanted to save all those people. But I didn’t feel confident. I had just been through a round of torture and was a bit afraid of inviting more punishment. I felt my righteous thoughts weren’t strong enough.
But I thought, “Jesus shed the last drop of his blood to save his people. I am a Dafa disciple. I need to save these people.” I decided to throw all caution out the window and do what I knew I should do, without looking back.
When it was my turn, I stood up and said, “I was a good person before I started practicing Falun Gong, which teaches me to be a better person with its principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance. I believe it’s not wrong to try to be a good person, neither is it a crime to want to do good deeds to accumulate virtue, because good and bad will be repaid.
“I have always been an idealist. I used to feel sad when I knew of people dying. Through Falun Dafa, I’ve found a way out of sickness and death. I would have been willing to sacrifice my life for Dafa…”
I did my best to validate Dafa, but, to avoid further torture, I also made a few compromising statements. Nobody present uttered a word after I finished, and I wasn’t punished for what I said.
On one occasion, Falun Gong practitioners were gathered for a meeting and were asked to talk about our bright spots. When it was my turn to talk, I said, “I’m just a very ordinary person. I have no bright spot.” The female guard countered, “Yes, you have.”
I asked her what she meant, and was taken aback when she said, "You can talk well, and have a good sense of responsibility. Nobody has the courage to save sentient beings. You have!" I realized that, in fact, the guards do respect and admire Dafa disciples who remain steadfast.
Treating the Police Like Brothers and Sisters
When I was arrested again, I formed a powerful righteous thought in my heart that I would ensure my relationship with the guards would not be one of persecution but salvation for the perpetrators.
A few days after I was sent to the labor camp, I was found to have high blood pressure and heart problems.
At the labor camp, I refused to be cooperative. Every day, I would study the Fa, memorize passages from the Fa, do my exercises, and send forth righteous thoughts.
If the guards asked me to do something personal for them, I would do what they asked, and while I worked, I would be clarifying the truth to them.
When the young female prisoners in my cell had to work long hours during the day and returned exhausted, I would clean the place for them or washed their clothes that they had no time or energy to do. I tried to be good to all.
In the labor camp, I made sure I clarified the truth to everyone, from high to low rank, from top to bottom. There was a "deputy leader" whom everyone, including other guards, feared. She was also the most ruthless when it came to persecuting Falun Gong practitioners. I wanted to clarify the truth to her. One time, she came to me after she had a surgical procedure. I knew it was Master's arrangement.
I talked to her extensively for a long time. I felt sorry for her. I urged her to leave herself a way out, to stop persecuting Falun Gong, and be good to practitioners instead of atoning for what she had done in the past.
Before I left the labor camp, I went to look for a particular guard with the intention to persuade her to renounce the Party. As soon as she saw me, she asked, "So, you’re going home? It's time for you to help us quit the Party.” I said, "Of course!"
I had established a good relationship with every guard in the labor camp. They all trusted me, and quite a few had renounced the Party and its affiliated organizations.
Through the years, I had always treated the guards as my brothers and sisters, believing that if they understood the truth, they would not mistreat or participate in persecuting Falun Gong practitioners.
Some practitioners were scandalized and appalled because I made friends with the guards and would consistently and willingly attend to their personal affairs. But, Master showed me in a dream that I did well in this regard. Some practitioners would demonstrate their unwillingness to cooperate by calling out, "Falun Dafa is good!" The guards would end up giving them a beating.
I thought to myself, “If we want to validating Dafa and save sentient beings, we must exercise compassion and tranquility, using our non-combative attitude and calm voice to clarify the truth about Dafa and its beauty.
“It is our words and deeds that will convince others that Falun Dafa is good and Dafa disciples are really good, really kind."
The evening before I was to leave the labor camp, the young female prisoners in my cell began to cry over my imminent departure. We couldn’t bear to say goodbye to each other. A guard made some dumplings at home and offered them to me to eat en route. An elderly guard shook my hands with reluctant to let go.
Over the years, wherever I go, I will clarify the truth to validate Dafa, and no matter where I am, I will make sure every sentient being I run across will remember Dafa disciples are good and kind.
Clarifying The Truth To Three Domestic Security Division Captains
I have clarified the truth to all three of our region’s former domestic security division captains. I talked to the first former captain when he was escorting me on the train on the way to the labor camp.
He confessed to me, " I am not a good person. I participated in sending you to the labor camp the last time." I told him. "Don’t worry about the past, as long as you treat Dafa disciples well from now on." He said, "Now, I feel really blessed.”
Not long after our conversation, he was transferred. I believe it’s because he had developed righteous thoughts toward Falun Gong, so he had to move on.
The second former captain apprehended me when I was displaced and wandering about out of town. They were afraid I would run, so they handcuffed me, put chains around my ankles, and escorted me back on the train.
In the train station, everybody was looking at me. I felt so bad, I cried. A female officer asked me what happened. I said, "I am a good person, but you handcuffed me and chained me up like this. People are staring at me and believing I’m a criminal."
So, she made an announcement for all to hear, "She is a Falun Gong practitioner." On the train, I spent my time eating, sleeping, and clarifying the truth.
The captain said to other officers accompanying us, "You look at her. She eats when she’s hungry and sleeps when she’s tired. Then, she talks and talks and talks the rest of the time.” Indeed, I talked and talked and talked, and it seemed the captain had not heard enough. Later, the captain was transferred and left the position because he understood the truth.
Last year, several officers from the local 610 Office came to my house, to see how I was doing. Among them was a person I hadn’t met before. Later, I was told he was the new captain of the domestic security division.
The day of the visit from the 610 Office, my children were at home, so I didn’t say too much to them. When they wanted to know if I was still practicing, I didn’t want to answer them directly but mumbled something about it is nothing wrong to be a good person.
After they left, my children said to me, "Mom, if they want to chitchat with you, you chitchat with them. If they want to ask you anything about Falun Gong, you don’t have to answer them at all.” I knew it was Master telling me what to do through my children’s mouths.
I thought about the new captain. He might not know the truth about Falun Gong. His office was quite a distance away. Seeking him out would probably be not that easy. So, I wrote him a letter, but did not send it.
One time, I was clarifying the truth when somebody reported me. The captain of the domestic security division brought along two people to look for me. They threw me into their vehicle.
I thought, “I can’t find these people even if I looked for them. This is a great opportunity I must take advantage of.” I said to the captain, "I'm thirsty." He gave me two bottles of water. So, I began clarifying the truth and answered any question asked.
I said to the captain and the others, “You are all good people. When you see good people being persecuted, you should have a sense of justice to speak up.”
When we almost got to where we were going, I said, "I have exhausted all my ability and wisdom to talk to you. Whatever I have to say, I have said it. What you do is entirely up to you.” When we arrived, the captain said, "I hear you...” I knew he meant he heard and understood and would not persecute me.
I said, "Apart from talking about Falun Gong, I will not say anything. Nor will I sign anything. So, don’t expect me to cooperate." I told him, "I will not cooperate with you to commit a crime."
My heart problem surfaced and my blood pressure was up. The captain said to me, "You can go home now." My children showed up and took me home.
With the many times I had been arrested, I had never divulged any information on fellow practitioners. The only thing I shared with the police was the facts about Falun Gong and its persecution.
Every time, as soon as I was put into a police van, I would send forth strong righteous thought that I must be returned home before the day was out.
I made a firm determination not to create any more negative impact on saving sentient beings and on my family or to allow sentient beings, including the police to commit further crimes against Dafa and Dafa disciples.
I know I have attachments I still need to let go of, but the old forces have no power or right to test me, because I have Dafa’s Master who takes care of everything. I also have fellow practitioners to join me in sending forth righteous thoughts in support of my determination.
If any of my words or thoughts is not within the Fa, I would appreciate fellow practitioners to point it out to me.
