(Minghui.org) I was a staunch atheist, as are most people of my generation living in communist China. I was brainwashed since I was a child by the communist ideology and did not believe in gods, Buddhas, or Taos. I grew up self-centered and inconsiderate, and had a really hot temper.
Falun Dafa changed me: I became open-minded, kindhearted, and thoughtful. I witnessed and experienced all that I had disregarded or disbelieved in the past. It was not an easy process, though, and it took many twists and turns.
I began having stomach problems when I was in my 20s, and I developed complications after childbirth in later years. From that point on, for the next 30 years I saw one doctor after another. The more medical interventions I sought, the more illnesses I ended up having. I had 14 chronic ailments by the time I was in my 50s, including stomach problems, heart disease, a fatty liver, neck and back pain, sciatica, arthritis, and so on.
Insomnia, poor appetite, constipation, and generalized chronic pain made my life miserable. I wondered why life had to be so hard and tried everything out there, including Chinese as well as Western medicine. Nothing worked.
Several of my co-workers told me about Falun Dafa in 1997. They said it was a Buddha school cultivation way that had miraculous healing effects. I took the book Zhuan Falun home and halfheartedly read it once. The Party doctrine of atheism was so firmly entrenched in me that I did not believe what I read and returned the book.
I fractured the small toe of my left foot. Several months later the doctor told me that the bone was healed, but I still could not walk. My entire left foot was stiff. I couldn’t flex or extend my foot, and I hobbled around awkwardly. It was particularly hard to go up and down the stairs. I was practically home-bound, feeling helpless and despondent about the future.
As I was crying one day, I asked myself, “What can you do now? You were told about Falun Dafa but you did not believe in it. Why didn't you?” I could not come up with a reason, so I decided to give it a try.
I began practicing, but my thoughts about it were complicated. I stopped all my medications and wondered if this practice truly had the power attributed to it. I was still skeptical.
I did not get worse after I quit taking all my medications, as I had feared. Instead, after just one week, my appetite improved and I felt great!
I was amazed that my decades-long stomach problems improved in just a few days of practicing. It was incredible! My confidence in Falun Dafa improved. I began exercising daily, and a year later, I was completely illness-free. I also looked more youthful.
The good times did not last long. Jiang Zemin, the CCP leader at the time, initiated the persecution of Falun Dafa in July of 1999. I was a new practitioner, so I did not quite grasp the deeper meanings of cultivation.
When faced with the overwhelming propaganda being pumped out on television, in the newspapers, and on the radio, I stopped practicing. I had never in my life doubted what the mainstream media said, and, plus, why would the government lie to its own citizens? Boy, was I wrong.
After some time, I again felt unwell, and my ailments returned one by one. I had to take medicine again. None of it worked, and I was in pain again.
It made me think: “My illnesses tormented me for 30 years even with the best medical care, yet by practicing Falun Dafa I completely recovered in a short period of time. Why was that?”
I talked to veteran practitioners who told me, “Falun Dafa is a cultivation way that provides salvation to sentient beings. The Chinese Communist Party lies and deceives people. When you are able to persevere in cultivation, you will naturally know what is real and what is false.”
Then why would the CCP lie to us? I always believed that, if it was openly broadcast on television, it couldn’t be wrong. Why would the government knowingly mislead people? How could that benefit the country? I had always been obedient and had been brainwashed by the Party. I was afraid to be defiant or even to question it.
My condition was too miserable to bear, so I began practicing again, hoping to get some relief. I witnessed and experienced the wonders and powers of Falun Dafa once again. My health problems disappeared in a short time!
This time I was truly able to see just how wicked the CCP is. The trust I’d placed in it was crushed. I realized I had been fooled by it all my life. My family was just as deceived by the CCP as I was. My husband and children all pressured me to give up cultivation. They were afraid for their future and for my life.
I told them that I had listened to the CCP all my life and had never doubted it once. But after I experienced what happened to me when I started practicing—and after I stopped, I finally realized that because I had trusted the Party doctrines, I almost lost my life! I finally saw its true face and true colors! The CCP can no longer deceive me. I made up my mind to firmly cultivate, and nothing will ever change that.
I am deeply grateful to Master for his saving grace, and his compassionate care and protection. Falun Dafa changed me, and I learned the true meaning of life through the teachings. I became a particle of Dafa, and the understanding side of me knows what to do. I have been persevering and solidly cultivating. No matter how severe the process of eliminating sickness karma or the persecution in prison, I will never give up my belief.