(Minghui.org) My mother and younger sister are Falun Dafa practitioners who began the practice in 1992. They repeatedly told me about the goodness of Dafa, so I read a few pages of Zhuan Falun, the main book of Falun Dafa. I read that a cultivator needs to let go of the desire to smoke, drink alcohol, gambling, and other things. I thought that this was too much for me to do at the time, and so decided that it was not for me.
After I was emotionally hurt by a good friend in 2007, I longed to read the Dafa book again. I read Zhuan Falun twice within a short space of time and began to change my outlook on life. I also no longer hated that friend for hurting me.
Worsening Health
I was very happy when I started doing the three things that a Dafa practitioner should do. But, seven years later, a was diagnosed with liver cancer, which caused ascites. My belly began to bulge with accumulated fluid, and got progressively larger. My weight also increased a lot.
That is when I realized that I had only been studying the Fa superficially, and had not looked inward. I was not truly cultivating myself.
Sometimes I stayed in the homes of fellow practitioners to help me improve in my cultivation. I looked inward earnestly, wrote down my thoughts and behaviors that didn't align with the Fa, and looked for my attachments.
I often went out to talk to people about Falun Dafa and the persecution, and helped them to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). I also talked to passengers that I drove on my electric bicycle and help them to quit.
However, my legs became so swollen that I couldn't bend them. I asked practitioners to help me put my feet on the bicycle pedals, but they all advised me to not ride anymore, to calm down, study the Fa, and look for reasons why my illness had worsened.
I was touched by fellow practitioners’ sincere and heartfelt words, and did whatever they suggested. I studied at least two Fa lectures each day. No matter how miserable I felt, I did the five exercises, starting at 3:50 a.m.
But then I reached a point where I couldn't continue. The only thing I could do was to study the Fa and send righteous thoughts. My husband tried to persuade me to go to the hospital for treatment, but I refused. He became extremely worried and talked to my friends and relatives, complaining that I wouldn't go and see a doctor.
It wasn't until my brother threatened to commit suicide if I didn't go, that I agreed to go to the hospital. The doctor sent me home and said that I only had about three months to live as the cancer had gotten so severe.
Finding My Attachment
On our way home from the hospital, my brother and husband chatted about our new apartment and the mortgage payments, which made me suddenly realize my shortcomings. I looked inward and found the reason I had this cancer was because I had cheated when we obtained the mortgage for the apartment.
My husband and I were not eligible to get a mortgage, so I asked my siblings to apply for it. After some very complicated maneuvering we finally got the mortgage and purchased the apartment. I had not followed the Dafa principle of 'Truthfulness'.
As soon as I got home from the hospital I burned some incense, kowtowed to Master, admitted my mistake and promised to correct it immediately.
I went to group Fa-study the next day, and told the practitioners there that I had not been truthful. They helped me find the source of the mistake – selfishness.
I now understood my illness was an illusion and I would negate it.
My husband agreed to work extra hours so that we could pay off the mortgage as soon as possible. After planning how to pay off the debt, I could let go of the mental pressure, but my physical health wasn't any better, and it seemed that the pain had become even more severe.
I recited poems from Hong Yin. I started to urinate frequently, releasing the fluid in my belly, which became smaller and smaller every day.
I gave myself to Master, as he purified my body.
Three years have now passed since then, when I was diagnosed with cirrhosis and cancer, and told I only had three months to live.
Category: Improving Oneself
