(Minghui.org) I returned to Falun Dafa in 2017, so I consider myself a new practitioner and had to learn to be a true cultivator.
When I was released from a labor camp in 2001, I no longer cultivated. All kinds of attachments interfered with me, such as fame, self-interest, and affection. I followed the trends in society and took part in the declining morality.
I felt as if there was a barrier that stopped me from cultivating, and I could not overcome it. I was confused and puzzled and fell into the state of an ordinary person. Although I had learned so many extraordinary things from the Fa, I could not break through my human notions.
Although I did talk with some practitioners, and my will to cultivate was strengthened, I no longer could understand the Fa. Thus, I lost the desire to practice Dafa.
My wife, a practitioner, was worried about me. She told me that I must study the Fa, send forth righteous thoughts, and be diligent. But I turned a deaf ear to what she said. Then she told me to read the cultivation experience sharing articles written by other practitioners. Although I made an effort to cultivate, this wish was only short lived.
One evening in 2017, when I was reading a practitioner's article, the words “formed notion” got my interest and touched my heart. I immediately remembered the article “Buddha Nature” in Zhuan Falun (Volume II). Because I had this book at home, I read it. I felt as if I was reading this article for the first time when, in fact, I had read it dozens of times. The words in the book seemed to fly into my head. When I finished reading it, I felt that the bad substances around my body were being cleared away. When I read this book a second time, it felt as though the barrier around my body had disappeared. My body was relaxed and my mind was clear.
It was Master who removed the bad substances and awakened my desire to cultivate. I continued to remember Master's Fa about “formed notions.” This spurred me on to eliminate my formed notions.
On my way to work the next day, a voice in my head told me twice, “You have started true cultivation.” I thought, “What an honor to cultivate in Dafa.” I realized that cultivation was serious, that one can't just read Zhuan Falun and do the exercises, that one has to let go of attachments and follow the universal principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forebearance.
I used to believe that my attachments and bad thoughts were something from my own mind. Now I know that they were notions and not me. All notions that made me feel happy or sad were not me.
Master said, “Whoever practices cultivation will attain Gong” (Zhuan Falun). Falun Dafa lets one's Main Spirit obtain the Fa. When one's Assistant Spirit cultivates, it only uses the human body as a carrier. Wasn’t it similar to when I used to think that all my attachments and bad thoughts were me? They could all be the same in nature, although the forms of expression were different. They all used a human body as a carrier to practice cultivation. How could the Fa be given to me when I mistakenly treated these notions as being my notions?
From that moment, I knew how to cultivate. I had not cultivated at all before. Now it was time to start my true cultivation.
Master repeatedly told us that we should negate the arrangements by the old forces. However, what does “completely” mean? Did I really understand it? The old forces had made a lot of arrangements for each practitioner. They created many bad corrupt concepts and notions that stop us from obtaining and understanding the Fa.
When our main spirit is not conscious, or our will is not strong enough, the notions will dominate us, and we cannot see the connotation of the Fa. In such circumstances, are we validating Dafa or validating corrupt notions from the old universe? At that moment, I really understood that cultivation is serious.
During those few days, I really felt I truly assimilated into the Fa. This sublimation made me realize what Master meant when he said, “A great way is extremely simple and easy.” (“The Features of Falun Dafa” from The Great Way of Spiritual Perfection)
As I studied the Fa and practiced the exercises, I wondered, “How can I get rid of my notions?”
Master said, “Cultivation is about people’s minds, about changing their ways of thinking. However pure your thoughts are, that is your Attainment Status.” (“Teaching the Fa and Answering Questions in Zhengzhou” from Zhuan Falun Fajie – The Law of Zhuan Falun Explained)
Master's Fa told me that I needed to cultivate each and every one of my thoughts, which was easier said than done! When the notions, attachments to fame, self-interest, and emotions emerged in my mind, it was very difficult to suppress them.
The human brain is extremely complex, and different lives want to control the main spirit of a human being. When returning to Dafa, I could not always eliminate this controlling substance. But, over time, my main spirit and righteous thought got stronger. It is not an overnight task to eliminate bad thoughts because it requires a strong will and perseverance.
While I cultivate my thoughts, fewer and fewer thoughts emerge when I am reading the Fa. I am able to read the Fa, do the exercises, and send forth righteous thoughts in tranquility. I experienced what it means to be cultivating one's true self. Master said, “How can the uncultivated side restrain your main thoughts or the side that has already attained the Fa?" (“Expounding on the Fa” from Essentials for Further Advancement) When my main thoughts got stronger, my righteous thoughts got stronger as well.
I was able to suppress all notions and bad thoughts, kept righteous thoughts, and started to truly cultivate. I came to understand what Master said, “...cultivation depends on one’s own efforts while the transformation of gong is done by the master...” (Zhuan Falun)
When my wife experienced sickness karma, I told her, “When a cultivator encounters anything, he or she should cultivate on the basis of the Fa.” She realized that she had to look within. She found and eliminated a lot of her attachments and thus recovered a few days later.
As I witnessed my wife's illness karma, I thought, “This phenomenon has repeatedly occurred before my eyes. What does this tell me? What do I not understand?” Master said, “Having humanly fostered the evil demons, you allow them to capitalize on the loopholes in the Fa.” (“Expounding on the Fa” from Essentials for Further Advancement)
Studying the Fa and doing the exercises as well as sharing cultivation experiences in a group setting is the form Master has left for us. I improved a lot in my personal cultivation. However, I needed to improve concerning clarifying the truth about Dafa, as well as other cultivation issues.
I thought that I had to find a Fa study group. However, the idea was very difficult to put into action because I had almost no contact with other practitioners. Then I remembered the phone number of a practitioner, whom I'd had no contact with for almost eight years. With the help of this practitioner, my wife and I were able to attend a Fa study group.
At the Fa study group, I shared with fellow practitioners and discovered my shortcomings. I also realized that I should clarify the facts. I attentively listened to fellow practitioners’ sharing their experiences in clarifying the truth. With their help, I soon was able to talk to people face-to-face.
I have returned to cultivation for over six months, and I've truly experienced Dafa’s greatness and Master’s compassion.