(Minghui.org) When I first saw the book Zhuan Falun in 1998, the three characters on the cover were beaming light. I was very excited and took up cultivation practice in Falun Dafa. In my early years of cultivation, my path was full of twists and turns and deviated from Fa-rectification period cultivation. With the help of fellow practitioners, I got on the right path and became a true Fa-rectification period Dafa practitioner.
Before I started practicing Falun Dafa, I was plagued by a host of ailments. The joints in my hands were very painful, and I had severe stomach pain as a result of intestinal adhesions.
After I received a copy of Zhuan Falun, I studied the Fa with other practitioners and did the exercises every night. Soon, I recovered from all my illnesses.
Less than a year after I started to practice Falun Dafa, Jiang Zemin (head of the Chinese communist regime at the time) launched the brutal persecution of Dafa. With the media slandering Dafa nonstop, my husband feared that I would be persecuted and that he would be implicated. The shadows of the CCP's previous political movements still caused him nightmares. With this fear, he was determined to stop my practice. He burned my Dafa books and beat me when he caught me doing the exercises. One time, he beat me until I was black and blue.
Master said,
“When it’s difficult to endure, you can endure it. When it’s impossible to do, you can do it.” (Zhuan Falun)
At the onset of the persecution, I had no idea of how Dafa practitioners should validate the Fa. Practitioners around me were all subjected to varying degrees of persecution. Some stopped cultivating or went into hiding. I lost contact with practitioners and the group study environment. Over time, I slacked off and acted like an ordinary person again.
I began bleeding from my womb in 2001. When I finally went to a hospital for an examination, I was diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy and needed emergency surgery. Although the doctor was not confident, the surgery went smoothly and I left the hospital a few days later. My life was spared after bleeding for more than two months. I enlightened that Master had saved my life, and I resumed studying the Fa and doing the exercises every day.
I began to attend a group Fa study on an intermittent basis in 2001 because I lived so far away. I moved to a nearby city and was able to regularly attend a study group there in 2008. However, this group refused to study any of Master’s new lectures. They misunderstood Master’s teachings and went to extremes.
Master said,
“This Fa can only be taught to this level. It is up to your own cultivation to attain what is at high levels.” (Zhuan Falun)
Practitioners took this to mean that the Fa had already been taught and that Master would not lecture again. They thought that all the new lectures were fake and the reason why the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) persecuted Dafa was that practitioners had confronted the CCP and thus caused the trouble themselves.
There was another reason they did not accept the new lectures. Master had said, “That is why throughout history so few people have been able to succeed in cultivation and reach Consummation.” (“Position” from Essentials for Further Advancement II) They understood it out of context and thought that they were the “few people” that could reach Consummation.
The coordinator of this group, Mr. Xiao, was blind and misled everyone. Xiao’s mentality satisfied some practitioners who were attached to fear and refused to go out to validate the Fa. They misunderstood the Fa and tried to find excuses to justify their behavior.
Some practitioners from other groups brought them Master’s new lectures, recordings, and videos. Xiao drove them away and burned all the materials they brought. Xiao didn’t allow us to listen or read any of them. He did not allow us to contact the practitioners who had brought the materials either. He repeatedly told us to study the Fa at home and not to go out to clarify the truth.
From when I first joined this group, I had always felt that something was wrong. Xiao urged everyone to cultivate diligently, but his approach was extreme. He emphasized the need to get rid of the desire for fame, gain, and sentimentality. He told us to cut off all affection, sever our family ties, and not to visit relatives or friends. I unwittingly followed him and made excuses not to attend any gatherings of my loved ones.
In contrast, Master told us in Zhuan Falun,
“… practice cultivation while living normally like everyone else among everyday people. If while among everyday people others consider you infatuated, they will not deal with you and will keep a distance from you. Nobody will provide you with opportunities to improve xinxing, and neither treat you as a normal person—I would say that this is not right!”
Xiao also said that one had to talk about his/her attachment to lust in order to get rid of it. He urged everyone to pour out in public and without reservation all the bad thoughts and conduct they had. Under his influence, the group formed a trend of looking outward and pointing fingers at others.
Master said,
“The experience sharing conferences organized by assistance centers in different regions should never be turned into self-criticism conferences. Such solemn Fa Conferences for sharing cultivation experiences in Dafa should never be turned into exhibition conferences for exposing the dark side of society, still less should you force students to reveal the shortcomings they had and mistakes they made when they were everyday people; you would thereby inflict serious, negative effects, damaging Dafa’s reputation.” (“Clearheadedness” from Essentials for Further Advancement)
Xiao began to vomit blood in 2011. I told him, “Xiao, you had better look inward to see if you have done anything wrong.” He became furious and said, “I am not wrong. I am following Master's Fa.” As soon as the words came out of his mouth, his face turned pale and his illness suddenly worsened. Master waited for him to look inside, but he continued to insist that he was right. Xiao misunderstood the Fa and could not accept anyone’s suggestions or advice. Sadly, he passed away.
I was eager to read Master's new lectures and meet new practitioners. After 13 years of misguided cultivation, I finally met genuine Fa-rectification Dafa practitioners.
When I was invited by a practitioner to watch the video of the 2012 Shen Yun show, as soon as the curtain opened, I saw divine beings descending to this world. Then I heard Master’s voice, “Who wants to follow me to the world to be a king for a thousand years.” My face was covered with tears. I felt like a lonely orphan returning to my true home. I was deeply moved by the show and knew that only Master could have produced it.
I celebrated World Falun Dafa Day for the first time on May 13, 2012. The Fa-rectification practitioners were totally different from those I had been studying with. They put their whole heart into the three things.
I read all of Master’s recent articles and new lectures so I would understand what it means to be a Fa-rectification Dafa disciple and how to do the three things well. I wanted to catch up as soon as possible.
One day an elderly practitioner took me with her to distribute truth-clarification materials about Falun Dafa and the persecution. We entered an apartment building and climbed their stairs, one level after another, to deliver the materials to all the households there. When I started climbing, my heart beat hard while the 80-year-old practitioner took the stairs with ease.
I wanted to tell people the facts about the persecution and the goodness of Dafa face-to-face, but sometimes I didn’t know how to tell people the facts. I was very upset for not having done better. My heart was moved by fear when I heard how practitioners were being persecuted so brutally. I learned how difficult it was for practitioners to do the three things well under such pressure. The practitioners who have persevered in Fa-rectification cultivation under the brutal persecution are simply great.
Finally, I am able to distribute materials and tell the facts of Falun Dafa face-to-face. I am on the right path of cultivation. I am full of energy, and my life has become meaningful.
My husband, who used to oppose my cultivation, has also started to cultivate. He watches the videos and reads the truth-clarification materials. The more he watches them, the more he loves them. My family environment has improved, and our children understand Dafa and support us.