(Minghui.org) I began to memorize Master's short lectures, such as Hong Yin, Essentials for Further Advancement, and so on, in 2005. Before I could finish memorizing the first lecture of Zhuan Falun, I stopped my Fa-memorizing, due to the many attachments and opinions that I still had not let go of.
Throughout the recent two years, I read many articles on the Minghui Weekly from fellow practitioners who were sharing their experiences about memorizing the Fa. After that, I was determined to overcome my thinking that I am too old -- I am 80 years old this year -- so I returned to memorizing Zhuan Falun last year.
For memorizing the Fa, I adopted the system of memorizing paragraph by paragraph, reading through a few times and reciting it once. Then, I kept reciting that particular section until I did not memorize words wrongly, or miss any words. For the longer paragraphs, I divided the paragraph into two or three segments before joining them together, and reciting them as a complete paragraph.
During the process of memorizing the Fa, I would repeatedly read the phrases, where I missed words, to ingrain them into my memory further. In this way, it would be easier for me to memorize them correctly. However, after doing it like this, I was not able to memorize them as a complete paragraph. I thought that if I am going to memorize like that, when will I be able to finish all of Zhuan Falun? Master said, “Don’t let up in studying the Fa; amidst it transformation happens...” (“Diligence and Righteous Enlightenment,” Hong Yin Vol.II) came into my mind.
My objective for memorizing the Fa is to engrave every sentence of Master’s lectures into my heart so that I can immerse into the Fa, and cultivate well. Therefore, I should not be looking at speed. By combining, reading through, and memorizing the Fa apart from clarifying the truth and sending forth righteous thoughts, I tried to use the remaining time that I had to memorize the Fa. I persisted in this way and within eight months, I completed the first time of memorizing all of Zhuan Falun. During the second attempt, it became much faster than the first time around.
During the process of reading and memorizing the Fa, I felt that my mind could focus better, as my negative thoughts and messy opinions were not as much. Thus, my speed of memorizing became a bit faster. Currently, I have already completed the second time of memorizing Zhuan Falun.
Through memorizing the Fa, I had a better understanding of the logistics that Master has mentioned during his lectures. I also had a better understanding of the hidden meaning behind some of Master's words and sentences. If one really has the heart to cultivate, the Fa will show in your words and actions, so that you will quickly recognize your attachments that need to be gotten rid of, and thus improve in your cultivation.
For example: At the start of this year, a practitioner in my Fa-study group claimed that Minghui has published the notification that the second set of exercises needs to be prolonged to one hour and there is new music to be used for our exercises. At that time, I was suspicious about the news. After seeing the notification in the Minghui Weekly, I immediately realized that my thought at that time was wrong. In actual fact, I am very clear that my inner self was scared about prolonging the practice to an hour, resulting in hardship. It is precisely because I had this attachment of fear that I was not able to persist through the third movement of the second set of exercises. In my heart, I reminded myself that this is Master’s requirement and I must be able to do it.
Master said, “When it's difficult to endure, you can endure it. When it's impossible to do, you can do it.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun).
In the end, I still could not finish the fourth movement in the second set of exercises, and this continued for about three days.
One day, I had the thought that the five sets of exercises need to be done continuously in full, so I did the second set of exercises for another half an hour. Isn’t this set of exercises supposed to be done for an hour?
On the way home from Fa-study, I suddenly felt that Master was hinting when I changed the duration for the second set of the exercises. After reaching home, I quickly went to study Master’s recent lectures and before long, I came across Master’s reply to a practitioner’s question.
Master said,
“Just do things however I’ve set them forth, and do things however the Fa dictates—just like that. Don’t come up with some other, different approach of your own.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2016 New York Fa Conference”)
I was shocked and it took me a while to recover. Wrong, wrong, Master I am wrong. Tears covered my face, as the Minghui notification is a requirement from Master to his disciples. On the morning of the next day, just before the morning exercise, I recalled a sentence from Master’s lectures, “If you can commit your mind, no difficulties can stop you. I would say that there's no problem.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
I finally did the one full hour of the second set of exercises. Although I managed to change my exercise timing, I was perplexed about exactly what attachment made me commit such a mistake. I must find it at its root and get rid of it. While I was memorizing the Fa, the following two phrases by Master showed up in my mind,
“While doing the standing exercise, one’s arms may get tired from doing the wheel-holding posture. When one cannot bear it anymore and puts down the arms, one accomplishes nothing whatsoever. What does that bit of pain account for? I would say that it is simply too easy if one can succeed in cultivation by just holding the arms up like that. ” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
“Mentally overcoming tribulations is the key to truly improving one’s level..” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
I understand now that it is the attachment of “fear” and being afraid of taking hardships that caused me to commit this mistake. Take for example this attachment of “fear”. I long knew about having this attachment but I thought that it is merely showing up in matters regarding saving sentient beings. Through this period of memorizing the Fa and studying the Fa diligently, I had a much deeper understanding of what Master said in his lectures,
“Cultivation is cultivation, and cultivation is about getting rid of one’s attachments, putting a stop to bad human behavior and all kinds of fears, including the human attachments of being afraid of this and being afraid of that.”(Pass the Deadly Test, The Essentials of Diligent Progress Vol.III)
“Fear can cause one to make mistakes, and fear can cause one to lose a predestined opportunity. Fear is a death trap on a human being’s journey toward divinity.”(“Pass the Deadly Test,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress Vol.III).
At the same time, I also felt that the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) indoctrination in me is quite deeply rooted, such that my thoughts, opinions, and so on, are all encoded by the CCP indoctrination. I can only cultivate myself according to Master's requirement.
Before the start of my cultivation, I was always taking medicine. I was plagued with all sorts of chronic illnesses, especially Ménière's disease, which caused me to suffer insomnia and fainting spells. After stepping into cultivation, I recovered from all these illnesses, and my body is light as a feather. Through my more than 20 years of cultivation, there were also times when karma eliminating symptoms appeared. I would treat them as reducing my karma or reject them. I no longer take any medicine.
However, cultivation is a serious matter, especially when it reaches this later stage. When there are loopholes in my cultivation, the evil beings will take the chance to cause damage.
One afternoon in October last year, I was preparing to send forth the six o’clock righteous thoughts when I felt a bit cold. So I put on a shirt and went to the bed to sit in the full Lotus position. Suddenly, I started to shiver and the whole world began to spin. Therefore, I grabbed the bed’s headboard tightly. I knew in my heart that the evil’s persecution had come, and I asked for Master’s help to save me.
There was no one at home that day, so I used all my strength to shout “Fa Zheng Qian Kun......” (The Fa rectifies the cosmos). However, I could not control my mouth and my eyes could not be opened. It is as though I was going to fall to the ground, so I grabbed the headboard tightly. Just then, my grandson came home. He opened the door – this must have been Master’s arrangement -- and was shocked when he saw me in that state. He quickly came into the house and held me. I used all my strength to say, “Fa......” and he quickly shouted, “Falun Dafa is Good,” before calling his mother. I was losing consciousness at that time.
My daughter came back and shouted for me twice. I understood a bit and seemed to have heard the word “hospital”. So I immediately said, “Jo”. My daughter understood that I was referring to that practitioner who is staying near our house so she held me while my grandson got her.
After a while, the practitioner came and sent forth righteous thoughts for me. Gradually, I regained some consciousness, but my body was still shaking. About more than an hour later, the practitioner left. I was clear in my heart, so I started to send forth righteous thoughts, and asked for Master’s empowerment. Before long, I started to vomit. My family took turns to look after me until late into the night.
The next day I persisted in studying the Fa, practicing the exercises and also looked within, scanning through my every thought. However, the evil beings were not prepared to let go.
On the third night, the second round of persecution began. When the alarm for sending forth righteous thoughts at midnight went off I sat up to send forth righteous thoughts, but my body started to shake again. However, I ignored it, and continued to be in the meditation position, speaking to the evil beings in my heart, “My belief in Master and the Fa is as solid as a rock, I want to follow Master to complete my mission in saving sentient beings. Even if there are loopholes in my cultivation you are not fit to persecute me. I will correct myself in the Fa.” After that, I asked for Master’s empowerment and persisted in sending forth righteous thoughts for more than half an hour. Following that, I memorized On Dafa and recited “Falun Dafa is Good, Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance is Good”.
It is just as what Master said,
“...When disciples have ample righteous thoughts Master has the power to turn back the tide” (“The Master-Disciple Bond,” Hong Yin II)
In the process of memorizing the Fa, my body stopped shaking and on the next day, everything returned to normal.
This illness tribulation came very strongly but disappeared very quickly too. However, it also made me feel the solemness of cultivation, especially for those of us who are elderly. At any one time if our cultivation does not meet the standard and we have attachments, it will be very dangerous.
I very quickly found the reason that gave the evil beings the chance to persecute me. My son, who was working on the outskirts, came back to visit me some time ago. I told him that I am already old so doing the marketing and cooking for the family becomes very tiring. I should just go to the nursing home.
What kind of place is the nursing home? Isn’t this an attachment, making me long for comfort: This is a selfish thought. How can that thought befit a Dafa practitioner? This thought has already deviated from the Fa. How dangerous is that!
Throughout all these years, in order to manage my family relationships well, support my daughter so she could go to work, and support my grandson in his studies, I have often been doing the marketing and cooking for them. At the same time, I will arrange for a fixed amount of time to go out to clarify the truth about Dafa and save sentient beings. The society and the family are both my cultivation environment, why are all these attachments resurfacing?
Master said,
“The thoughts and ideas, or the various notions that form in your brain, were all formed over time in the course of your interactions and encounters out in the world. And the older one is, the more one has amassed...” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2010 New York Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XI)
I had never stopped in studying the Fa and doing the exercises since I began to cultivate 20 years ago. However, it is only now that I truly feel that I had not been cultivating diligently. Therefore, all this stuff that was formed over these years in my mind, will start to show up when specific issues crop up. It is only when we memorize the Fa, study the Fa diligently and fill up our brains more with the Fa, are we able to correct our attachments and messy thoughts, and truly improve in our cultivation.
Recalling these more than 20 years of cultivation experience, it has totally been Master's toil and sweat to save us, benevolence to protect us, and guiding us all the time. This led me on a righteous and straight cultivation path. Without Master's saving, there would be no me today.
There is no human language that I can use to show my gratitude to Master. I can only study the Fa more, study the Fa well, cultivate diligently and do the three things well, so that Master can breathe freely in his knowledge of our diligence.