(Minghui.org) I was in poor health before I became a Falun Dafa practitioner in 1995. In particular, I suffered from bone hyperplasia, making it hard for me to lie on my back. One side or another of the body was often numb and it wasn't easy for me to get out of bed, either. My legs were weak and felt like heavy weights. I was also troubled by nerve pains and had trouble lifting just a couple pounds. I avoided electric fans like a plague in the summer because it made me feel like I had a hole on top of my head that kept sucking in the wind. I was despondent after trying all manners of treatment to no avail.
Since I started practicing Falun Dafa, Master has time and time again cleansed me of sickness karma and protected me from harm, as well as imparted to me the wisdom of Dafa. I have been saved and have discovered the true meaning of life—cultivate to return to my original, true self and assist Master in saving sentient beings.
Master started cleansing my body right from the first time I read Zhuan Falun. What happened to me was exactly as it is described in the book:
“In ordinary human society, in competing with others for fame and personal gain, you cannot sleep well or eat well, and you’ve gotten your body into very bad shape. When your body is seen from another dimension, the bones are covered in black patches. With this kind of body, it is impossible for you not to have any reactions when it is purified all at once, so you will have reactions. Some people will even throw up and have diarrhea.” (Lecture Two, Zhuan Falun)
I had diarrhea for a while, but I was otherwise fine. Thanks to Master, all my previous ailments disappeared after doing the exercises for some time and I felt great.
Fortunate as I was to count myself as a Dafa disciple, tribulations and hardships still came my way.
My husband left me before I started cultivating because of my poor health. My daughter, who was also a practitioner, passed away from an illness all because I slacked off in my cultivation. My laziness affected her and allowed the old forces to exploit the loopholes in our cultivation. She left behind a five-year-old daughter. It was a tremendous blow and threatened to destroy me—I was weak, with a strong attachment to my daughter and still had a very shallow understanding of the Fa.
My family and friends were overcome with grief when they watched her slip away. Surprisingly, I remained quite calm while busying myself with looking after everyone else because merciful Master temporarily emptied my mind of all thoughts. I was able to continue my daily routine of Fa study and exercises without interruption.
The loss hit me hard later. I knew Master helped me to at least not feel the grief at the time, but ultimately I would still have to endure the pain. The grieving went on for a while as I struggled with my cultivation. Again, it was Master and Dafa that pulled me through this very difficult time.
I was illegally arrested twice and incarcerated at a detention center and a re-education center, respectively. Reflecting back on those times, I realized my trouble was caused by my numerous human attachments which were exploited by the old forces.
At the re-education center, I started to have vaginal bleeding. After a week, the pain in my belly became unbearable and I could not fall asleep. I knew only Dafa could save me so I started reciting in my head: “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is great. Falun Dafa is great.” Soon the pain subsided a little and I fell asleep. When I woke up the next day, the bleeding stopped and the back pain also went away. Merciful Master resolved the tribulation for me.
I love my five-year-old granddaughter because I have looked after her since she was a baby. She became my only family after my daughter passed away. After I was released from my illegal arrests, my son-in-law was pressured to kick me out of his home unless I gave up practicing Falun Dafa. I had to choose between staying to look after my granddaughter or leave to pursue my cultivation. I knew deep in my heart that Dafa gave me everything I have today and I would never give up Dafa.
As heartbreaking as it was for me to leave, I knew I had to persevere with my cultivation so I could fulfill my goal of returning home with Master in heaven. I never missed a day of Fa study or exercises.
Master taught us:
“...when it’s hard to endure, try to endure it. When you encounter something impossible or hard to do, maybe it can be done. That is indeed the case, and you might want to give it a try when you go back. When going through real tribulations or tests, give it a try. When something is hard to endure, endure it for a bit; when something looks impossible or hard to do, give it a try and see if it’s possible to do after all. If you can truly do that, then you will find that there is light at the end of the tunnel.” (“Teaching the Fa and Answering Questions in Jinan,” The Law of Zhuan Falun Explained)
I enlightened that it was time to let go of my emotional attachment to my granddaughter. I called my son-in-law and told him that I loved my granddaughter and would love to stay with them to look after her but if forced to choose, I would choose Dafa. After putting down the phone, I felt so relieved as if a big weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Thank you, Master, for your guidance.
Master said:
“Actually, cultivation itself is not difficult; what makes it difficult is being unable to let go of ordinary people’s emotions.” (Fa-Teaching Given at the Conference in Sydney)
I went to visit my granddaughter once a week. After every visit, I would be upset for a few days and cried whenever I thought about the poor little soul. Not only were the poor kid's essential needs neglected, she also bore the brunt of her father's unhappiness. Seeing her little face sometimes in a daze or her body shaking from fright cut me to pieces. But I knew as a cultivator I had to hold myself back because everything happens as a result of karmic relationships.
Forbearance was easier said than done because I was enduring with tears, so it was not the true forbearance that is required of a cultivator. My son-in-law used to respect me, but all that has changed because he blamed Dafa for his wife’s death. My hatred for him grew and I lacked the wisdom of the Fa to free myself from that emotional entanglement. I decided it was time to put some effort into really studying the Fa well.
Master said:
“In cultivation, there may be two scenarios when dealing with specific conflicts or when others treat you badly. One is that you might have treated this person badly in your previous life. You feel in your heart that it is unfair, “How can this person treat me like this?” Then why did you treat this person that way in the past? You might claim that you actually did not know it at that time, and this lifetime has nothing to do with another lifetime, but that won’t do.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
I knew it would be difficult to pass this xinxing test, but I also knew that Master would be with me. I kept up my vigilance, dug deep and went after every human attachment that surfaced such as selfishness, resentment, vindictiveness and sentimentality. One after another, I overcame these attachments and in the end dissolved the hatred I had for my son-in-law. I have so much gratitude for Master’s infinite mercy.
Master never gives up on me, as flawed a Dafa disciple as I am, and always keeps a watchful eye over me. This past June, Master again came to my rescue.
One night at midnight, while I sat with my legs crossed on my bed to send forth righteous thoughts, a sudden force pushed me off the bed and I landed with my head almost perpendicular to the hard tiled floor. My bed is higher than a normal bed, so it was a very bad fall. My head hurt badly and my body went limp.
I live on my own and it would have been hard to get help at that time of night. I remained alert and the first thought that came to my mind was that I was fine. Right away I sent righteous thoughts and cried out, “Master!”
I felt awful and tried to move about, but I couldn’t. I quickly repeated a few times, “Falun Dafa is great. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is great.” All of a sudden, something moved from my head down and was expelled through my feet. Master removed the karma for me. I got up on my feet and felt wonderful and well as I have never felt before. I am grateful to Master for taking on this enormous karma for me.