Relinquishing the Attachment to Fame

(Minghui.org) My regular job is in the technical field. Because I follow Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance in my work and in my dealings with my colleagues, I have very good technical skills and am well-respected. I also have some technical responsibilities on Dafa projects. 

Due to a lack of solid cultivation and because my colleagues and other practitioners praised me a lot, I unwittingly developed attachments to fame and saving face. I became unwilling to be criticized or wronged. When some fellow practitioners mentioned this to me, I didn’t want to admit it. I was being controlled by my attachments.

One time, Lin (alias) took me to resolve some technical problems for Hai (alias). It was the first time I’d met Hai. Lin later said that Hai had asked her about my cultivation state and she had told Hai that she didn’t know me well. Hai thought that was strange because Lin and I had worked together for a long time. Lin said it was because I didn’t talk much. 

After Lin told me about her conversation with Hai, I became lost in deep thought: I had been collaborating with Lin for a long time. Why did she say she didn’t know me well? But, as I thought about it, I realized that I indeed didn’t say much in front of Lin. It was because Lin cultivated diligently and could point out problems in other practitioners quickly and accurately. I was afraid that my shortcomings would easily be exposed if I said much to her.

When I realized this, I was very troubled. With these attachments holding me back, how many opportunities to expose and resolve my attachments had I missed? If I went on like this, I would be like an everyday person doing Dafa work and not a true cultivator.

Lin once told me that, during the sharing portion at a group Fa study, she mentioned all the tests she was going through at that time. The other practitioners made a lot of comments to Lin: some said she was impatient, some said she was complaining, and some said she was disparaging. Whatever they said, Lin corrected her thinking and measured her own xinxing against their remarks, especially when they quoted the Fa. Throughout the whole process, Lin remained unaffected by her attachments. 

Hearing this really touched me. My cultivation state was far inferior to hers! Master had arranged for me to collaborate with such a good practitioner, but I hid my attachments from her. I felt guilty about it.

About a year later, I asked Lin, “When was that group study you mentioned?” She thought a bit and said, “Maybe in 2002 or 2003.”

Almost 20 years ago! She had reached such a good cultivation state so early! I knew I couldn’t protect my attachments anymore.

From then on, when collaborating with practitioners, I tried to let go of my attachments and to communicate with them. I gained a lot by doing this.

I began to thoroughly study the teachings to look for my attachments. I studied “What is Forbearance (Ren)?” in Essentials for Further Advancement: “To endure completely without anger or grievance is the forbearance of a cultivator.” 

I asked myself, “How can I reach the state Master requires? And in what situations did I endure with anger or grievance?”

I realized that when I was pursuing fame but could not gain it, I was angry and felt I’d been wronged and endured it but with resentment.

Master also said:

“You are future Enlightened Beings who are becoming Buddhas, Daos, and Gods, and you are not concerned with the losses and gains of this world. So you should be able to let go of everything.” (“Eliminate Your Last Attachment(s),” Essentials for Further Advancement II)

And:

“But actually, there are so many eyes in the cosmos intently watching you that the number is simply unimaginable. Even a single particle of matter is packed full of these eyes—even the tiniest of particles are. All of the lives in the cosmos are intently watching all that Dafa disciples do. And divine beings are among these. Your every thought and action are being recorded, and more vividly than video recording—everything is recorded multi-dimensionally. So what you are doing is for the divine to see, not man.” (“2018 Fa Teaching Given in Washington, D.C.”)

I understood that when I was pursuing fame, even when I really got it, in the eyes of Master and gods, that pursuit revealed an ugly heart! As a practitioner, I still sought fame among regular people. Was I truly cultivating? After I understood this, I felt that my attachment to fame was cut in half.

Whenever I thought about all the eyes in the cosmos, my attachment to fame immediately disappeared. I eventually was able to endure as a practitioner. When I let go of the attachment to fame, I didn’t need to endure with resentment anymore.