(Minghui.org)
On my way home from working in the field one evening in April 2019, I suddenly had difficulty walking, and my face and arms felt numb. I had these symptoms four years ago, and got over it within a few minutes by sending righteous thoughts.
After I managed to get home, I leaned on the chair and couldn’t move my right arm and leg. I picked up my cell phone with my left hand and called two fellow Falun Dafa practitioners. My husband was working out of town, so I was at home alone. I didn't want to call him because I was afraid that he would call for an ambulance.
It was like I had a stroke.
Ms. Li was the first practitioner to come over, and helped me get into bed. She left when Ms. Xia arrived.
Ms. Xia told me that no matter what, we should not acknowledge what was happening to me.
From the moment I started calling practitioners, I had been negating this condition non-stop. I also asked Master to help me. I thought to myself that I would never let Dafa down.
I tried walking around the room after a while. I don’t know how many times I stumbled and banged in to the wall, but I wasn't scared. I then went out to walk around the courtyard. I fell down a few times, but got up and kept going.
Ms. Li returned with two practitioners, both from another village. After we were introduced to each other, they started sharing their understanding with me based on the Fa, which made me feel more confident. I thought to myself: I am Master Li Hongzhi’s disciple, I will not acknowledge the old forces arrangements. I will only walk on the path Master has arranged for me.
The two practitioners stayed until around 3:00 a.m. After a short nap, Ms. Li and Ms. Xia did the Dafa exercises with me.
It was quite a challenge doing the exercises, as my right arm was not working so well. I couldn’t turn the palms of my hands, and had trouble stretching. I also couldn't keep up following the movements with the music.
I told my arms: “I am listening to Master’s instructions in the exercise music, you have to listen and follow.”
I began to recite Master words,
“When it is difficult to endure, try to endure it. When it looks impossible and is said to be impossible, give it a try and see if it is possible.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
I would not acknowledge this illusion, and continued to do the exercises.
I also had difficulty sending righteous thoughts. I knew clearly how important it was, but I couldn’t lift my right arm.
But with persistence, on day four I could hold my palm erect, but only for a short period of time. I couldn’t remember one of the formulas to recite. I knew that this was the old forces interfering with me, so I decided to write it down on a piece of paper so I could refer to it at any time.
Ms. Li brought her young grandson over, and they stayed with me for three nights. Ms. Xia spent half a day with me for seven days to study the Fa together.
On the eighth day, I was able to ride my bicycle, and rode to the local Fa-study group.
I was about to cross an intersection on my way back home. Everything looked clear, but my bike stopped without my using the brake.
A large sedan suddenly sped across the road in front of me. I knew that Master was protecting me.
I told my husband what had happened when he returned home a few days later.
The next day, I helped him to do some work outside the house. But after a while, I felt that my head was heavy. Then I heard a voice say: “You will die soon.”
Right away, I thought about what Master said:
“...a being's choice is up to him, even if he made some kind of vow in history.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A.” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. II)
I told the old forces: “No matter whether I signed a contract with you or not, I won’t acknowledge it. I will only follow my Master's arrangements.”
My body and mind became relaxed after 20 minutes. I cried after that, for it was Master who saved me again.
Why I was taken advantage of by the old forces?
Master said:
“For a cultivator, looking within is a magical tool.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference”, Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. IX)
Thinking back over my cultivation, I had looked outward and used Fa principles to measure others and not myself. As a result, the old forces took advantage of my loopholes.
Through this illness tribulation, I have uncovered many attachments, such as: jealousy, a competitive mentality, resentment, and sentimentality.
Going forward, I will treat myself as a practitioner and look inward. I will use Dafa to measure my words and action.