(Minghui.org) I believed in Buddhism to some extent in 1998 and didn’t really cultivate myself. I was in poor health and was hoping to find a cultivation way that could treat illnesses.
I had learned a little about Falun Dafa from my boss. A short time later, I saw the book Zhuan Falun at my cousin’s house during a birthday party there. When I read it, I found every sentence impressive. My cousin had borrowed the book from someone and had to return it quickly, so he could not lend it to me. I felt very sorry at that time.
My husband passed away nine months later. I missed the book Zhuan Falun. So I went to see my cousin and asked him if it was true that Master would come to Jilin to hold lecture sessions. My cousin said that it was not true, but an experience-sharing conference would soon be held. Though I hadn’t started practicing Falun Dafa, I attended this final experience sharing conference before the persecution started. So many people were at the conference.
I arrived at the conference hall a little late, so I had to sit on the second floor. The youngest speaker was eight years old and the oldest speaker was in their seventies. A previously illiterate elderly lady could read Zhuan Falun. One speaker had liver hemangioma and had surgery. The doctor said she was in a critical condition. But she recovered after she started practicing Falun Dafa.
Though I couldn’t hear the speakers clearly on the second floor, I was shocked by their stories. I realized that I had found what I had been searching for.
I went to a Fa-study and bought a copy of Zhuan Falun the next day. I found the book very good, though I didn’t quite understand it after reading it twice. I gained a good understanding after I read it the third time and found answers to many questions that I could not get from Buddhism. I came to know what cultivation was.
After the persecution started on July 20, 1999, I heard practitioners were going to Beijing to validate the Fa. I wanted to go as well. But no practitioner was willing to take me. I had never been away by myself, but I didn’t want to stay behind. I went to Beijing by myself and didn’t tell my family about my trip. The police intercepted me when I arrived at the capital city of my province. The policeman said that he knew I was a Falun Dafa practitioner because I looked radiant and didn’t wear any jewelry.
I didn’t make it to Beijing and didn’t say what I wanted to say. Two policemen were watching over me. One policeman went away to call a taxi. I unfolded my banner, raised it over my head, stepped onto a flower bed, and shouted with all my strength “Falun Dafa is wonderful!” “Clear Master’s name!” The policeman watching me said, “How dare you! You even shouted in front of me!” I said to myself, “Master gave me heavenly courage and of course I dared to shout.” The other policeman rushed back and raised his hand to beat me. He was stopped by his colleague. I was smiling and felt very happy while I was shouting. I couldn’t hold back my joy.
I was handcuffed to a chair for the whole night in a police station in the capital city. They put me in a detention center the next day. I stayed there for a few days. My family paid money and tried to get me out through their connections. I was asked to sign a statement stating that I would give up Falun Dafa. Five people dragged my arm and tried to put my fingerprint on the statement. I had the thought, “It won’t work.” They were not able to move my arm. I had another thought that I would not be able to go home if I didn’t put my fingerprint on it. They were then able to move my arm. One policeman raised a white baton at me and said that he had prepared it for me. He asked me if I would go to Beijing again. I replied “yes!”
I set off for Beijing again with two other practitioners. We opened our banner near Jinshuiqiao Bridge and shouted “Falun Dafa is good! Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good! Restore Master’s reputation!” We had put double-sided sticks on the banner before we arrived in Beijing. So we pinned our banner against a wall. I came home from Beijing safely. My family members were happy to see me. They had searched for me far and wide. They started to watch over me more strictly. They didn’t allow me to practice Falun Dafa, so I told them that I treasured cultivation more than my life. They no longer tried to restrain me. I have been practicing Falun Dafa since then.
I knew a few practitioners, but I couldn’t get any truth-clarification materials. So I wrote “Falun Dafa is good” “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good” “Restore Master’s Reputation” on walls at night with colored chalk. When the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party was published, I went to the countryside with other practitioners to distribute them.
Local practitioners were all motivated and cooperated well with each other. We covered more than 30 townships. We were so happy at the time and had some amazing experiences. One day a practitioner and I distributed the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party in a village. We had brought 250 copies with us, and it seemed like the booklets were endless. We distributed them for a whole night and covered eight villages. We still had some copies left when dawn came. I said to Master in my heart: “Master, please do not give us any more booklets. The villagers are starting to get up.” The supply then stopped.
One villager came out of his house and was heading toward the gate when I was about to put a copy on the gate. I said to him in my heart that he should face the other way. He then turned his back. I put a copy successfully in front of his gate. I felt very thirsty in the early morning and licked dewdrops from a blade of grass. It was really sweet. I didn’t feel tired. I felt really happy.
I was asked to work at a materials production site because a practitioner was needed there. I worked there for nearly five years. I worked with May (alias). She handed over the chores of cleaning and cooking to me. I later learned how to repair printers. I slept only a few hours every day. After midnight, we studied the Fa, practiced the exercises, sent forth righteous thoughts, and had breakfast. We then worked a whole day. I didn’t feel tired or think that it was hard. But the practitioner’s behavior helped me improve my xinxing. We lived in a one-story unit. It was very cold in the winter. We burned a fire under the brick-bed. The side I slept on was directly above the fire and it was too hot. I didn’t sleep well each night.
I was good at repairing printers. When May’s printer was down, she asked me to repair it and also told me to look within because it was not just her problem. When the printer head was clogged, she said that it was because my heart was clogged and asked me to look within.
Master asked us to cooperate well. So I must do well. I didn’t argue with her. But on one occasion I could no longer put up with her. I was trembling with anger. My sister was going to have surgery for breast cancer and had asked me to look after her in the hospital. But May didn’t agree and said that I hadn’t let go of sentimentality and didn’t put the Fa as the first priority. I felt extremely unbalanced in my heart. For years, May had gone to help her sister when the autumn harvest came, “Did you let go of sentimentality?” The local coordinators had to come over to discuss my leave with her. Though I stayed in the hospital, I had to come back to the materials production site every day to cut the materials for pamphlets, because May had never done it and could not do it.
All the previous incidents that had bothered me appeared in my mind. The Chinese New Year period was the busiest time for us because local practitioners required more materials. May went to her son’s home and stayed there for three months. I was so busy that I didn’t have time to study the Fa. I had to listen to the Fa while I was working.
My attachment to self-interest came up as well. Her annual income was just over 1000 yuan, and she had to pay for her son’s school fees. So I paid all the expenses at the materials production site. I was not rich. Before she went to see her son, she told me that she had received 5000 yuan in back pay for her late husband and had lent it out. My heart felt totally unbalanced.
At that moment something in my dimensional field went wrong. All the printers refused to cooperate with me. All the machines stopped working. The big machine wouldn’t take the paper. The computer connected to the small printer wouldn’t open. This incident woke me up. I knew I was wrong. When I had serious attachments, could the truth-clarification materials I made have a good effect in saving sentient beings?
I wanted to let go of these attachments but they kept popping up. I studied the Fa and sent forth righteous thoughts.
Master said,
“My truly cultivating disciples, what I have taught you is the Fa for cultivation of Buddha and Dao. Nonetheless, you pour out your grievances to me over the loss of your worldly interests, rather than feeling upset for being unable to let go of ordinary human attachments. Is this cultivation? Whether you can let go of ordinary human attachments is a fatal test on your way to becoming a truly extraordinary being. Every disciple who truly cultivates must pass it, for it is the dividing line between a cultivator and an everyday person.”
(“True Cultivation,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
After studying Master’s Fa, I was able to rectify my mind and my unbalanced heart disappeared. The practitioners who repaired the machines and computers dropped in by accident.
It was so good to listen to Master. I felt extremely happy. Actually, the machines didn’t have big problems but my xinxing did. That afternoon I kept repeating “Falun Dafa is good” and “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” My body felt very light the next day and my heart was open and bright. Thank you Master for removing the bad stuff for me!
I worked at the materials production site for nearly five years, although my cultivation state was sometimes good and sometimes not so good and my attachment to self came up from time to time. The materials production site needed me and that was where I should stay. It must be what Master asked me to do. I persevered and tried my best to cooperate with May.
Master said,
“I say that this is not good enough. Perhaps in the future, you may be slapped in the face twice, and you will lose face in front of someone whom you least want to see it. It is to see how you will deal with this issue and whether you can endure it.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
I don’t talk much and my character is introverted. I had a lot of difficulties clarifying the truth to people in person. During the experience sharing conference on May 13, 2014, most of the speakers shared how they had clarified the truth to people face to face. I admired them and was touched. I wanted to do it myself. I said to Master in my heart: “Master, I will definitely break through this difficulty.”
I had a materials production site at home. I produced a lot of materials and couldn’t allocate certain times to do the truth-clarification face to face. So when I went out shopping, I talked to people about Falun Dafa. But oftentimes I followed a person, sent forth righteous thoughts and got my speech ready before I caught up with him or her. But most of the time the person went into a shop, got onto a bus or arrived home before I was ready. I regretted it again and again in my heart.
The following year I accompanied other practitioners to clarify the truth to each household in the villages. At the beginning, the practitioners asked me to remember the names of people who had agreed to withdraw from the CCP (Chinese Comminist Party, but I forgot. The practitioners didn’t want to go with me again. I felt unbalanced in my heart. How come you asked for materials from me yet left me behind when clarifying the truth to people face to face? Jealousy, resentment, and low self-esteem came into my mind. As a result, I was reported to the police while I was talking to people about Falun Dafa and detained in a detention center for five days.
I became too attached to clarifying the truth face to face. I was even thinking of it when studying the Fa, practicing the exercises and sending forth righteous thoughts. I asked myself what was the reason for my attachment. It was because I had a human heart and wanted to validate myself and save face in front of practitioners. But I had already made a promise to Master that I would break through this difficulty and I must keep my promise. So I went onto the street to talk to people by myself. If I came across a practitioner, I would go with them and listen to how they clarified the truth to sentient beings.
I later became more open and could clarify the truth to people in person. Now some practitioners praise me for doing a good job of clarifying the truth to people face to face.
During the pandemic, the residential areas were locked down. One practitioner still had 400 copies of truth-clarification materials in hand. When I went out shopping, the practitioner and I managed to enter some residential areas and successfully distribute all the copies.
When the lockdown was lifted, practitioners found that people living in the higher floors of buildings in residential areas received fewer materials. So we made it a priority of distributing pamphlets in these areas. When there was a power failure in a residential area, many practitioners were mobilized and distributed materials there. Because there was no power, the surveillance cameras didn’t work. Practitioners walked around each floor and put copies outside each household.
On one occasion 13 of us went to the same residential area and distributed more than 1000 pamphlets in the morning. Other practitioners asked me to go frequently and I was happy to get involved.
Before and after the year 2020, I went to markets with other practitioners to clarify the truth to people. Each practitioner could help dozens of people withdraw from the CCP every day. One practitioner managed to ask 50 people to quit the CCP in one day. Sometimes we clarified the truth in the market during the day and distributed materials in the villages at night. We were busier during the pandemic. Master said: “Saving people before catastrophe, racing against the clock.” (“Fulfilling the Vow,” Hong Yin III)
I took part in almost all of the local Dafa projects except for computer system installation. I didn’t dare to relax in cultivation. Master has offered us this precious opportunity and protected us while walking every step solidly. No words can express my gratitude to Master. What I should do is listen to Master and try my best to do the three things well and cultivate ever more diligently!