(Minghui.org) I have been practicing Falun Dafa for over 20 years. There was a big test that I couldn't pass and I was very troubled by it. That is, I couldn't take the initiative to get up in the mornings to participate in the group exercises of Dafa practitioners at a set time around the world that many attend in their homes.
I first heard about the global group exercises in 2006 and was very excited. I thought that this was what Master asked us to do and so it must be done well. I repeatedly told another practitioner, “This is what Master requires, so it must be done.”
We made an agreement to send a text message to each other at 3:40 every morning. Whoever woke up first would send a text message to remind the others to get up on time.
I was fine the first few days. Although I was reluctant to get up, I still managed to with gritted teeth when I thought that this was what Master asked. But it was a very painful experience. Every morning when the alarm sounded, after sitting up I felt as if I was going to faint. My heart was uneasy all the way through the sitting meditation.
My cultivation had been on and off for several years at that time. I had just started to do the three things, however, my enlightenment quality was not good. I didn’t know that my uneasy mind was the result of a struggle with karma, so I didn't manage to eliminate this kind of interference by sending forth righteous thoughts.
I persisted in doing the morning exercises in extreme pain for more than 20 days, but the pain didn't alleviate. I was disappointed with myself and my willpower was weak. I eventually gave up participating in the group exercises.
Later, my husband, also a Dafa practitioner, came to my aid and woke me up in the mornings. When he called me, I could get up, as if his voice had some power. Although it was still a very painful experience, I, at least, had someone at home to do the exercises with.
I participated in the morning exercises for a period of time. I was still in great pain and later stopped.
My forehead started to hurt, which lasted for a week. I couldn't go to work, and it didn't go away after I looked inward and sent forth righteous thoughts. Is it because I don't take part in the group practice in the mornings?
When I got up with my husband the next day in time for exercises, my head no longer hurt. I continued to participate in the morning exercises with his help but stopped doing it again a few months later. I soon resumed again and found that every time I did the exercises, the pain lessened a little bit.
Later, I felt the disturbing substance drop from my heart every day, and it reached my lower abdomen within a few days. There was a mass of karma there. My husband was very happy for me.
From that morning on, I persisted with the morning exercises for a year and didn't miss a single day. I clearly remember the day that marked the full year. It was April 18, and my husband was going on a business trip. The night before, I was very anxious: What should I do? No one would wake me up. Could I get up on my own? I needed to work hard on myself. The alarm rang the next morning, and I didn't want to get up.
After filing a criminal complaint against Jiang Zemin, the former Chinese Communist Party leader, in 2015, my husband and I were persecuted one after another. My husband was persecuted to death. This almost destroyed me. I knew that his death had something to do with me. I was trapped in grief, self-blame, and sentimentality. My condition deteriorated, and I rarely did the exercises, let alone the three things that practitioners should do. I was almost taken away by the old forces too.
Last summer, I heard that other practitioners got up at 3:00 a.m. because the second exercise had been extended to an hour. I thought that it was impossible for me to do that. I couldn't even do that exercise for half an hour. But I really wanted to get up early and held that wish in my mind.
A practitioner visited me one day and reminded me that I must do the three things. If I failed to do so, the old forces would make me think that I was not diligent in cultivation. After she left, I cried and said to Master that I was no longer able to pass this test. I couldn't even keep up doing the basic exercises, so what else could I do?
I recalled a very important thing that happened and that needed to be exposed. I had been procrastinating and not done it. Other practitioners who knew the case had not thought to do it, and I felt that this matter could not be delayed any longer. I thought that this was left for me to do, and thanked Master for leaving this opportunity to me.
Two days after I finished this task, my alarm rang that morning (I had set the alarm to 4:20 a.m.), and I was suddenly moved by the music that followed the alarm, which was composed by a practitioner. I felt the matter that had been pressing on my heart for many years was taken away by Master in an instant, and I immediately got up.
The next day, I got up easily again. On the third day, I set the alarm for five minutes earlier to 4:15 a.m., and got up again without hesitance. Of course, I found that there were still weak, bad thoughts left for me to eliminate, such as wanting to sleep a little longer, but because it was very small and weak, I removed it at once.
I was so excited those two days, and my heart was full of gratitude to Master! I got up on time for five days in a row. I still couldn't believe it. I was afraid that I couldn’t keep it up, so I cleaned up some of the remaining bad thoughts that I had. I set the alarm five minutes earlier each day going forward. Five days later, I set the alarm for ten minutes earlier each day until the alarm was set at 3 a.m.
In this way, I kept getting up on time for a month and knew that I could do it from now on.
I thought that I should share my experience with other practitioners who may also be facing similar troubles.
During the couple of days that I was preparing to write this article, bad thoughts came up again. It didn't want me to write and wanted to drag me down. It made me do the sitting meditation while sitting on the bed under the quilt, which was so disrespectful to Master and Dafa.
I did the meditation exercise on the first day, sitting in a daze for an hour and a half, and I did the second set of exercises for only half an hour. On the second day, I went back to sleep after doing the sitting meditation. I didn't do any of the standing exercises. I was aware of the interference from bad thoughts attempting to control my body. I had to take back control with righteous thoughts, which I was able to do.
As of today, I have been participating in the group practice with Dafa practitioners around the world for a month and a half, and my condition has been good. Half a month ago, when I was about to write this article, I had a little bit of showing off mentality, but it is gone now.
I get up at 2:50 a.m. I burn incense with respect to Master, then do the exercises, including the second exercise for an hour.
I shared this experience because I truly enlightened to Master's Fa: “Cultivation depends on one’s own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one’s master.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)
Thank you Master for not giving up on me! Thank you fellow practitioners for your encouragement!