(Minghui.org) I knew there must be something wrong with my cultivation when I had thoughts of complaint about others. Looking inward, I did find some attachments and got rid of them. Unfortunately, I was still unable to find the attachment that was the root cause of my problems, and thus, could not resolve them.
I had a conflict with a fellow Falun Dafa practitioner. One day I complained about him in front of other practitioners. One of them said, “I think he is good. It is your fault.” I became upset right away and argued. I was regretful afterward and looked within carefully. I found attachments to fame, showing off, competitiveness, jealousy, and self-interest. Among all these attachments, I found that jealousy was the root of the other attachments.
I found that jealousy manifested in all aspects of my life. For example, I disliked colleagues who flattered their managers, and I felt upset when I saw the benefit for doing so. I didn’t like those who bullied others and hoped they'd be punished. I sometimes looked for flaws in those who had expertise. These were all signs of jealousy. Jealousy is an emotion that is prevalent in Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture.
I also realized that the root of jealousy is selfishness. Being self-centered is a manifestation of selfishness. A selfish person always emphasizes himself or herself and does not have compassion for others. They use any means to achieve their goals, and they compete with those who have something good.
I realized that our cultivation will be in vain if we do not eliminate jealousy. We should learn to put self-interest aside, like in the story of general Han Xin, who crawled between a bully’s legs to avoid killing him.
Master said,
“Did you know that in order to save you the Buddha once begged for food among everyday people? Today, I once again make the door wide open, and teach this Dafa to save you. I have never felt bitter for the numerous hardships I have suffered. Then what do you have that still can’t be abandoned? Can you bring to heaven the things deep down inside that you cannot let go of?” (“True Cultivation,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
I often used to comfort myself, thinking I didn't have the attachment of jealousy or that my attachment to jealousy was not strong enough to be a problem. However, this conflict made me realize that my attachment to jealousy was strong and that it was time to get rid of it. It was heart-wrenching to eliminate it. However, as a Dafa disciple, I follow Master’s teachings and seek to eliminate all human attachments.
I am grateful for Master’s teachings. I will strive to reach the righteous enlightenment of selflessness and altruism, as Master said,
“From now on, whatever you do, you should consider others first, so as to attain the righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism.” (“Non-Omission in Buddha-Nature,” Essentials For Further Advancement)
This is my first experience sharing article. If anything is inappropriate, please kindly point it out.
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