Recognize and Reject the False-Self

(Minghui.org) I have been trying to let go of the fear of talking to people about Falun Dafa and the persecution since July 18, 2021. Master Li (Falun Dafa’s founder) made arrangements to expose my attachments to ego so that I could restrain and eliminate my false-self and allow my true-self, composed of the characteristics of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, to be in charge.

Overcoming Fear to Clarify the Facts to People Face to Face

I visited my mother on July 18. She told me the police had arrested many practitioners and confiscated their mobile phones that had other practitioners’ numbers. After this incident, practitioner Wang stopped making truth clarification materials for nearly a month. Other practitioners rarely went out to clarify the truth.

I had a dream while staying with my mother. There were four large classrooms, one of which was empty and covered with a thick layer of dust. I first cleaned the outside of the empty classroom and then the inside. I went to another classroom, and it was filled with people. Twelve white storage bags hung on the wall. When I asked for one I woke up.

I wondered if Master was pointing things out to me. Perhaps the “classroom” symbolized our Fa study group. The empty classroom with a thick layer of dust meant that “the group was gone because of our strong human attachments.” When I cleaned the classroom from outside to inside and asked for a white storage bag, it probably meant that “Master wanted me to share with the group based on the Fa so that we could all be purified.”

I thought that self-protection was not what Master wanted. We had also neglected to cultivate our speech and later tried to make up for it. I shared my understandings with Wang who produced materials three times, but he refused to give me any.

I knew that another wave of the coronavirus pandemic was approaching, and people’s lives were in danger—but I was afraid to talk to people because I had been arrested for doing that. I focused on handing out fliers instead.

There is no coincidence in cultivation. Why couldn’t I have the fliers when I needed them the most? I had to calm down and examine myself for my attachments.

I discovered that Master did not want me to depend on the fliers, so he pushed me to step out to talk to people face to face. I finally conquered my fear, took a step forward, and went out. When I spoke to people, I felt compassionate, rational, and wise.

Identifying and Eliminating Ego, False-self

During this period of time, I expected Wang to provide me with fliers, but I ended up empty-handed. I began to have negative feelings about him, and I didn’t want to communicate with him. Practitioner Lin often chatted with Wang, so I found Lin annoying as well, and I didn’t want to see them. I thought they were too self-centered, liked to lecture, and refused to take suggestions. I knew I should not have those feelings because they didn’t conform to the Fa. I tried to eliminate them and they gradually toned down.

After our Fa study the morning of August 9, I read out loud the Minghui article “My Thoughts on the Second Wave of Coronavirus Outbreak in China” and Master’s lecture “Stay Rational.” I hoped practitioners would share their thoughts, but no one said anything. A few minutes later, Wang and Lin started to talk about something else enthusiastically. I was a bit angry and felt disrespected. I read sharing articles and Master’s lectures on eliminating the “ego” in the afternoon to suppress my negative feelings.

My negative emotion was stirred up again when I saw Wang and Lin at Fa study the next day. We finished at 11 a.m. and I went to the kitchen afterward. I looked at my watch and noticed it had stopped at a few minutes past 11 (it started to work after I reset the time to 11). Master had used that same method in the past to enlighten me, so I knew he was anxious and wanted me to truly cultivate myself.

My mother and I sent forth righteous thoughts at noon. I saw her palm tipping over so I reminded her to hold it up. She replied impatiently, “My palm is up!” I said I wasn’t going to say anything if I saw it again. A moment later my mother said, “So you were talking about my hand. Why don’t you take a look at your lotus palm and see if you’re doing it correctly?” I didn’t say anything and sensed that my ego was controlling me.

I collected my thoughts after lunch and decided that I should dig deeper and look for my shortcomings based on the Fa’s principles. It was time to transcend my ego and not be controlled by it.

Master said,

“From a higher vantage point in the universe, it can be seen that the lives of those on this earth didn’t come into being here. Their souls were born in the higher realms of the universe. There are many, many things in the universe that can, when working in conjunction, generate life, and so it was in the greater universe that each person’s soul first came into existence. The universe is by nature good and kind, and so when a person is first born he shares in its defining qualities: zhen, shan, ren. As more lives come about, however, people enter into community with one another, and some grow selfish and no longer worthy of the realms they are in. And so they must fall to a lower plane, since they are not allowed to remain where they are. But then, in that new realm, they may again change for the worse and not be allowed to remain, whereupon they drop again. And the cycle could keep repeating itself until, in the end, they fall to the human plane.” (The First Talk, Zhuan Falun)

“Jealous types look down upon others...” (Chapter III, Falun Gong)

After reading Master’s lectures, I understood that my true-self is assimilated to the characteristics of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. The manifestation of the true-self is a being that is compassionate, peaceful, and tolerant of other’s faults; it is understanding and considerate of others’ conditions; it puts oneself in others’ shoes and thinks of them first.

Lives deviated from the characteristics of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance because they became selfish, thus producing attachments to fame, self-interest, sentimentality, and forming a false-self. The manifestation of the false-self is a being that is self-centered and likes to hear praise; it protects itself to avoid harm. The false-self thinks it has high enlightenment quality and it’s always right, and insists on being right even when it is wrong; it enjoys giving orders and it is unwilling to accept opposing views, and it belittles and looks down on others. It is basically wicked, selfish, jealous, and demented. The false-self assumes our image, so when we are deceived we might think, “How could I be like this? Why am I so unkind?” The same thing happens when we look at others and think, “How can this practitioner or everyday person be like this?” In reality, these are not our true-selves.

We are blessed to be Dafa practitioners. Master has made arrangements for us and continues to protect and enlighten us. We have the Fa to guide us, and Master has taught us to look inward. Everything we encounter is to help us understand, see, and eliminate our attachments. And Master will take them away if we really want to remove them.

My negative feelings and disdain (a form of jealousy) toward practitioners, my inability to see their cultivated side, and my critical and arrogant attitude all stemmed from selfishness. I was full of myself when I worried about their inability to see their shortcomings. Master is looking after every practitioner and arranging everything for us. Perhaps the reason practitioners behaved certain ways was to help me look inward, eliminate my attachments, and cultivate myself. Master often sent me reminders, but I kept wanting others to correct themselves.

If my true-self is the one who rules me, then shouldn’t the first thing I do when I meet someone or encounter something is to search inward (a requirement of the Fa), and ask what Master wants me to learn?

When practitioners are entangled in their human notions, we can kindly offer suggestions, send righteous thoughts for them, and remain calm and collected, because everything is under Master’s control. When we are compassionate and peaceful and look at the issue from others’ perspectives, there will be no room for complaints and resentment, for our heart is constantly in the state of selflessness and we are always putting others first.

When I think about my experience, even though there was a degree of pain and suffering, I’m grateful for Master’s salvation. It was Master who took away my karma and gave me the opportunity to raise my cultivation level.

This is my understanding at my level. Please kindly point out my shortcomings.