(Minghui.org) At my parents’ recommendation, I started to read Falun Dafa books after graduating from college. Although I studied Zhuan Falun every day, I had strong attachments, and my understanding of the Fa remained quite low. I knew Dafa was good, but after so many years of studying science, there were some aspects of Master Li Hongzhi's teachings that I doubted.
After watching a video about the size of the Universe, it gave me a better understanding of Master Li's article “Realms” in Essentials for Further Advancement, as well as explanations about the limitations of today’s science in Zhuan Falun. I realized that science, as defined by ordinary people, was so superficial.
Some common notions about the nature of reality have been ingrained in our minds and naturally affect our thinking. They are very difficult to detect, but Master will definitely point them out to us in various ways. But we can only relinquish them when we look inward unconditionally.
When I’d just begun to practice Dafa in 1998, I listened to the recording of Master’s Teachings at the Conference of Changchun Assistants. The part that struck me the most was:
“I’ve often said that whenever you come across a problem, you should take a look at yourself first. Even if a problem has nothing to do with you, when you see it, you should still search inside yourself. I’d say that then nothing can stop you from advancing on your path.” (Teachings at the Conference of Changchun Assistants)
I came to understand that, as cultivators, the more we try to stick to our own notions, the harder it is for us to improve, which will only cause us to stagnate at a certain level for a long time.
I was the head of the production department at work and had undertaken many large-scale projects. When a new person took the lead position, he wanted to transfer me to another department. However, the other leaders objected, so I was able to stay in the end. But then this colleague started criticizing me in front of everyone at all the meetings.
I was very angry and thought that he was deliberately attacking me, so I argued with him. But when I calmed down, I understood that nothing is accidental. There must be something that I needed to cultivate. I kept looking inward and found that I treasured my reputation and couldn’t tolerate being blamed.
I did have shortcomings, so I put aside our differences and apologized to this colleague, and he never picked on me again. In fact, when the police later tried to persecute me and my family for our faith in Falun Dafa, he actually protected us.
From then on, whenever there were things that made me unhappy or caused my emotions to flare, I would immediately look within to see what attachments were being triggered. The process of eliminating attachments is often painful, but afterwards, I always felt relaxed and upbeat.
My family and I have been persecuted in many ways for our belief in Dafa. We were forced to leave home to avoid being arrested, and the police searched for us across the province. We have been arrested, tortured, threatened with death, and sent to forced labor camps.
I saw a young practitioner dying from a hunger strike in one labor camp. Witnessing this made my attachments surface, and my belief in Dafa began to waver. I kept thinking about when the Fa-rectification of the world would arrive and why Dafa practitioners had to suffer such horrendous ordeals. I was lost and stopped cultivating.
I returned to Dafa in 2004 and repeatedly asked myself, “What’s the purpose of my cultivation? Is it for attaining personal enlightenment or to assist Master in awakening more people? Why should I be so attached to the time of the Fa rectifying the world? Why did I have doubts about Master’s teachings?”
By constantly looking inward, I clearly saw my selfishness. I didn’t want to endure the tribulations and pain. I wanted to reach enlightenment sooner and possessed little compassion for others. This selfishness also hindered my understandings about and belief in Dafa. I was happy when I came across passages of the Fa that I found beneficial, but for those that I thought were beyond my comprehension, I had doubts and didn’t want to think about them.
Realizing this, my mind became clear and I knew what I should do. I was no longer attached to time. So with Master’s compassionate arrangements, we helped many people start cultivating in Dafa, formed Fa-study groups, and participated in truth clarification projects.
My wife and I often talk about “Loss and Gain” in Zhuan Falun and “Wealth with Virtue” in Essentials for Further Advancement. Cultivators should hold onto their virtue. Then isn’t it foolish for one to lose virtue due to our attachment to seeking gain? How much money one has is predetermined. No matter how hard we pursue financial gain, we may still have the same income because we are too attached. After putting down this attachment, I felt that things went smoothly, and I could interact with others more effectively.
My wife and I often talked about planning for the future, but since Master arranges the best for us we just follow the course of nature and do not force things.
Master said,
“… after birth one belongs to a certain family, a certain school, and upon growing up a certain workplace; various contacts in society are made through a person’s job. That is, the layout of the entire society has been planned this way.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
My wife got a new job and found that she had more time to clarify the truth and got to know more people. Our child was also admitted to a private school. He was at the bottom of his class when he enrolled, but he rose to the top a year later. His outstanding character also won praise from the teachers and principal.
A senior practitioner couple in our area were very active in clarifying the truth, and we all believed they cultivated well. However, I later discovered there was a large gap between them. The main reason was they had an arranged marriage. The husband was introverted, and the wife couldn’t forgive him for being cold to her when they were younger.
When the husband experienced sickness karma, I spoke to them separately. The wife just kept complaining, and the husband didn’t know how to look inward, nor did he want to speak truthfully due to fear of losing face. I felt powerless, and I couldn’t figure out how to help them. The husband later passed away.
My understanding is that the old forces are exploiting gaps among practitioners to keep us from forming one body. If we can’t resolve our problems with kindness and can’t let go of the pursuit for material gain, then how can we improve together?
My wife and I got to know each other through Dafa cultivation. Our understandings of the Fa are very similar, and we share our experiences every day. When we’re outside, we can look at each other and know our thoughts from a smile. At home, whoever has more time naturally takes care of the housework. When we have disputes, we always look inward to resolve them.
Fellow practitioners, friends, and colleagues admire our relationship. The senior couple I mentioned earlier harbored resentment, while our family is affectionate. However, both of these are attachments to sentimentality. Master said in “What’s Your Yearning?” in Hong Yin III:
“Emotion is a net: the more one struggles, the more it tightensFame and gain tie people up throughout their lives...”
My wife and I know that we must lighten up on the sentimentality between us. Otherwise, we will definitely affect each other’s cultivation and not be able to improve our xinxing. The relationship between husband and wife is the result of karmic relationships. Whether we are caught up in affection or resentment, it ties up our hearts.
During the 23 years of my cultivation, there were times when my attachments were so strong I was doing poorly, as well as times when I was diligent and actively helping to save people. There were also times when I was scared and hesitant due to the persecution.
Thank you, Master, for your salvation! Thank you, fellow practitioners, for your help along the way! I will diligently cultivate, validate the Fa, and live up to the title of Dafa disciple in the Fa-rectification period.